Raise a glass

Posted on October 15, 2012 by Cindy

So, what with the lack of blogging lately, one major life event sort of slid under the radar here:

A couple of weeks ago, my sister, Tracy, and her boyfriend took a vacation to Italy. And he proposed. In Venice, of all places.

(I would like to note for the record that Dave proposed to me at our kitchen table when we lived in Washington. Not that there was anything wrong with it – I mean, hey, I tend to be more practical and get uncomfortable with overly romantic gestures anyway. I’m just saying. Kind of a stark contrast there.)

Her fiance, Everett, is a good guy and she seems really happy, so we’re all excited for them.

And, she asked me to be maid of honor at her wedding. I happily agreed, on the condition that nobody call me “matron of honor.” (Seriously, if ANYONE says the word “matron” in my general direction, they’re gonna get a swift kick in the shins.)

They’re getting married next November in Texas. Everett lives in Austin and Tracy will be moving there.

The plan is for Catie and Lucy to both be flower girls at the wedding. Since Lucy will be 2 1/2 at the time, we’re guessing she can handle it. Catie has already said that she is absolutely not doing it because she doesn’t want all those people looking at her, but… eh. She has a year to get used to the idea, and there’s a big difference between 5 1/2 and 6 1/2. I kind of haven’t pushed the idea too much, because I can’t force anything with Catie. She has to come around to it in her own time.

And honestly, this whole thing has been pretty rough on Catie. When I first told her that Tracy and Everett were getting married, she was happy, because she really likes Everett. But when she found out that Tracy was moving from Charlotte (where we can hop in the car and see her in 2.5 hours) to Texas (where we’ll have to take a plane to see her), she got really upset. I’m not sure how much of it specifically has to do with Tracy – because they do have a very special relationship, the two of them. I think it also has a lot to do with her dad moving away, and now she feels like she’s losing more of “her people.”

Tracy came to visit this past weekend, and she and Catie had a long talk about how this is going to be ok, because she’s going to come visit just as often as she does now, so the only thing that’s going to change will be that we’ll pick her up at the airport instead of her driving up in her car. Catie cried and cried and said that she doesn’t want Tracy to get married and move away. Sigh.

What can you do? Change is hard for adults, and it’s hard for kids. I feel bad for her, but she’ll adapt to it, just like she’s adapted to everything else that life has thrown at her.

Totally unrelated side note just so this post doesn’t sound completely depressing: when I told The Guy that I’m going to be my sister’s maid of honor and that the wedding is in Texas, he said, “Hmm, I just had a mental image of you in a bridesmaid dress with cowboy boots. That’s kinda hot.”

For the record, I do not currently, nor have I ever, owned cowboy boots. And I’m pretty sure my sister will not allow them to be worn at her wedding. Although this past weekend she was joking about getting a mechanical bull for the reception, so who the hell knows.

Yee-freaking-haw.

Anyway: my sister is getting married! YAY! Weddings! Sparkly diamond rings! Shopping! Love and happiness and all of those things that I refuse to be bitter about just because of my own personal tragedy! (It will NOT affect my ability to do good hair!)

This is all really good stuff. I am so, so happy for my sister. She is so awesome and she’s waited so long to find the right guy, she deserves every happiness in the world.

Congratulations to Tracy and Everett.

P.S. Yes, I am pre-emptively worried about making a toast. Public speaking is not my thing. But I’d bet my sister knows enough musical people that I can throw together a choreographed dance number in no time flat.

visitation

Posted on October 2, 2012 by Cindy

(This post is a little rambly. Sorry I’m having a hard time collecting my thoughts lately.)

Dave flew back to Seattle on Sunday. All things considered, his visit here with the girls went exceptionally well. He texted me pictures of them when he took them out places (even the grocery store).

In fact, one evening he came to pick up the girls a little early, and I had ordered pizza for them for dinner (because I thought he wasn’t coming until later and I knew they’d be hungry). So he hung out and we ate pizza together, and we talked about our kids and the upcoming election.

It was easy and familiar and completely freaking weird, all at the same time. I’d like to think that it’s the start of a trend, but I also worry that the other shoe is going to drop at some point. (It usually does, right?) But in the meantime, I have to think that it’s good for the kids to see us being pleasant with each other, so I’m hoping that we can keep it up.

On the nights Catie spent with him (we both agreed that Lucy is too young to spend the night away, she needs her crib and her normal bedtime routine), I made a point that I wanted to have a few minutes to either visit with Catie in person or Skype with her each day that she was away. It worked out really well.

————————————————————————————————————-

One time after spending 2 nights in a row with him, she started to whine that she was homesick, so Dave brought her home to hang out with me. This just happened to be on Friday, which was my mom’s birthday, so she and I put on our matching aprons and made Mimi a birthday cake.

Ignore the fact that I’m a sweaty mess in dire need of lipstick. Look how proud of herself she is!

Oh, one more unnecessary picture because it cracks me up.

That was taken while we were singing “happy birthday” to Mimi. The WTF-ness on Lucy’s face just slays me.

(And yes, the cake looks pretty awful. I am not a very good cake decorator under the best circumstances, but with my tiny sous chef, it was even more challenging. Doesn’t matter, though, because it was DELICIOUS.)

————————————————————————————————————-

So, that was Friday. Saturday, I took Catie to her cousin Elizabeth’s birthday party, and then the girls hung out with Dave for a few hours so I could take a nap (which was blissful). Saturday night, I had them both back at home because his flight left at 6 a.m. on Sunday.

————————————————————————————————————-

At this point, I know I don’t really have to worry too much about how Lucy handles things because she’s still so young and oblivious. She won’t be soon, and believe me I know that.

But I primarily have to keep a close eye on Catie’s stress level. I’ve figured out a lot of her stress indicators (crying frequently, getting physical with Lucy and pushing her, etc.), and I try to be sympathetic while not letting her get away with too much crap. I mean, hey, I get that you’re upset that you haven’t seen your dad for a few months, but that doesn’t give you the right to shove your baby sister to the ground, you know?

I’m also trying to get her to talk about her feelings more. One of the things she frequently and randomly bursts into tears about is because she claims she misses Teenie, our cat who passed away in February. And I’m sure she does miss Teenie, but I don’t think that’s the whole issue. The last time she had one of these outbursts, I said, “Baby girl, are you crying because you miss Teenie, or because you miss Daddy?” She cried, “BOTH!!!” And sobbed harder.

It’s so hard for her, and I try to make it easier where I can, but we have moments like that where she just breaks my heart and I don’t know how to comfort her because I can’t fix it.

————————————————————————————————————-

I knew it was going to be bad when he left, so I randomly said, “Hey, you know what? I know you’re going to be really sad after Daddy goes back to Seattle, so I think we should think of something REALLY SUPER FUN to do after he leaves, and I think you should pick what our adventure will be.”

She thought about it for a few minutes, and said she wanted to go see the dinosaur bones at the NC Museum of Natural Sciences. She went there recently on a field trip with her daycare and she loved it.

Did I mention that admission to the museum is free? DONE.

Almost every picture I took turned out blurry because both girls were having so much fun that they never stopped running the whole time.

I did, however, get one picture of my girl sitting with a dinosaur footprint.

This is sort of how I see her as an adult, since she’s so adamant about wanting to be a paleontologist when she grows up. I can imagine her 30 years from now at a dig site in South America or God-knows-where, sitting just like this next to some brilliant discovery she’s made.

As far as distracting her from Dave’s departure? It kind of worked. She’s mostly been fine for the past couple of days. Maybe it’ll be a delayed reaction, I don’t know.

————————————————————————————————————-

Last night, she said that she wanted to make Daddy a card. I gave her one of my blank note cards, and she asked me to help her spell out her words. (We’ve been doing this a lot lately since she’s been practicing writing at kindergarten. I help her sound them out and try to help her figure out the next letter herself.)

She wrote on the card:

“I miss you Daddy. Love Catie and Lucy.”

Then she covered it in stickers and asked me to mail it. Even though seeing those words printed out in her little 5 year-old handwriting made me want to hold the card to my chest and cry, I put it in an envelope, stamped it, and shipped it off.

I have no idea if it’ll break his heart like it did mine. I guess that disconnect to each other’s feelings is just one of many reasons we aren’t together anymore.

random Monday thoughts

Posted on September 24, 2012 by Cindy

My head is kind of a mess of different things right now, and I feel like I should blog since it’s been a week. (I know y’all probably don’t care, but when I look at my archives and see barely anything written, it tends to be because those are the times when my brain was too preoccupied to say anything.) So, a few random things happening here.

————————————————————————————————-

* Dave is in town for a visit. He hadn’t seen the girls since March, so I wasn’t sure what to expect and I was quite honestly a knot of anxiety about the whole thing. Six months is a long time, especially when you’re a little kid. So far, it’s going pretty smoothly. Catie is obviously thrilled to see him. And Lucy didn’t really remember him, but she warmed up to him quickly, probably (at least partially) thanks to sibling rivalry. (Catie is sitting on someone’s lap? Lucy wants to be on that person’s lap too, dammit.)

So, it’s fine, but it’s also a weird topic that I don’t really feel comfortable talking about here. I’m bracing myself for next weekend when he leaves, because that’s essentially when I have to go into grief counselor mode for Catie. It’s going to suck, but it is what it is and there isn’t much I can do about it, other than to try to keep her routines in place so she feels as safe and secure in her world as possible. Which is what I do anyway.

[Ok, fine, here’s where I’ll be snarky and admit that when he texted me to tell me that he took both kids to IHOP yesterday and the food took an hour and both kids had simultaneous meltdowns in the middle of the restaurant? Yes, I did derive a tiny bit of satisfaction out of that. If that makes me a petty, horrible person, so be it. Also, later on, Lucy puked on him, but it was at my house and I had to clean up the floor, so that was less funny. Still, it did feel a little bit like, “Oh hey, welcome to MY world, buddy!”]

————————————————————————————————-

* I took advantage of the kids’ time with Dave this weekend to try to reorganize the house and clean out my office. That was possibly the most gratifying thing I’ve done in a long, LONG time. I made about 6 trips to the recycle bin and hauled out a couple of giant lawn-size hefty bags of trash. It felt so good to unload all of that stuff. I keep looking around my office and feeling like a weight has been lifted off of me. I can now watch “Hoarders” without nervously looking around my own house. It’s very freeing.

————————————————————————————————-

* Lucy. My god. This child.

She is how I know without a doubt that I’m done having babies, because I am quite certain that I would never survive another toddler. The tantrums and the drama, plus the fact that she still doesn’t consistently sleep through the night, and she howls every time I try to put her in her car seat… it’s like somebody crossed a newborn with the terrible two’s and came up with this hellspawn hybrid demon baby-toddler.

But then, you know, she’s also a toddler, and therefore completely hilarious.

I took this picture because I wanted to capture THAT TUMMY. Which I kiss about a million times a day. And when I say, “Lucy, where’s your tummy?” She pulls up her shirt and rubs her little Buddha-belly like she’s all proud of it, and it makes me sad that we don’t keep those body image ideals as we get older. She’ll outgrow that tummy someday, and I’ll be heartbroken when she does.

Also, one of my friends pointed out that in that picture, she looks like a tiny David Lee Roth. And she totally does, except I think Lucy might have more hair on top than ol’ David Lee has these days.

————————————————————————————————-

* On a sad note, my great uncle Numa passed away last week. It wasn’t a surprise, and we’re all relieved that he isn’t in pain anymore. I don’t really have the words to sum up my uncle Numa here. There’s a really nice obituary that covers what an amazing career he had. (How many people can say that the guy who played Newman on Seinfeld played them in a movie? Random, right?) I knew him as the guy who was completely smitten with his wife, my great aunt Connie, even after 50 years of marriage. He was hilariously funny and told the greatest stories.

He had been ill for a very long time, and he hadn’t wanted visitors around when he was sick, so I hadn’t seen him in a long time. I remember in 2004, when Dave and I were still just dating, we were in New Orleans at Christmas, and I called Numa. I don’t remember why I called him, I think I was asking him for a restaurant recommendation. But that was the last time I spoke with him. At the end of our chat, I remember him saying, “Darlin’, if you get into trouble in the Quarter tonight, just tell the cops my name and they’ll take care of you.” Always good to have a name you can drop when you get arrested for drunk & disorderly on Bourbon Street, right?

He was a wonderful man who’ll be very missed by so many.

————————————————————————————————-

* It was 50 degrees outside when I woke up this morning. The high today is 72. Hey there, September, you’re looking lovely.

Rainy zoo days

Posted on September 17, 2012 by Cindy

(Warning: tons of photos ahead.)

Yesterday was gray and rainy, but it was also the first day we’ve had in ages where the high was in the low 70s. After how soul-crushingly hot this summer has been, that meant that we were going to get outside and enjoy the cool weather if it killed me.

With that in mind, we (meaning me, the girls, and my parents) loaded up into my mom’s mini-van and drove to Asheboro to visit the North Carolina Zoo. We’ve been to the zoo a couple of times before, although the last time I went, I was very newly pregnant with Lucy and wasn’t able to enjoy myself very much because I was kind of sick and miserable the whole time.

The main reason for the zoo trip this time is because Catie heard about the dinosaur exhibit there, and since she says she’s going to be a paleontologist when she grows up, she was DYING to see the dinosaurs. In fact, from the minute we got there, she kept asking, “Can we see the dinosaurs next? Where are the dinosaurs? Dinosaurs, dinosaurs, DIIIIINOOOOOSAAAAAUUUURS!!!!”

(It got old, is what I’m saying.)

Then we finally found the dino exhibit, and oh y’all, my girl was in heaven.

There’s one dinosaur near the entrance that you can climb on for pictures, but the rest of them are off-limits. These are really amazing life-size dinosaurs that move and roar and everything.

I tried to get Lucy in one picture, but girlfriend was NOT having it.

Once we got into the exhibit, I basically only saw Catie’s back for the next 20 minutes. She would run ahead to the next dinosaur and then stand there and stare at it, absolutely transfixed.

(I basically have a lot of pictures of the back of her blue Tinkerbell hoodie.)

It kills me how much she knows about dinosaurs, and it’s all stuff that she’s learned on her own, because I certainly haven’t taught her this stuff. As we walked up to this one…

My mom said, “Hey, Catie, is that an allosaurus?”

Catie replied, “No, Mimi, it’s an APATOSAURUS.”

And she was right. If you’d asked me what it was, I would have shrugged because I have no clue.

Anyway, the dinosaur exhibit was a major win.

The rest of the zoo was a lot of fun too. Lucy insisted on walking a lot of the time, which meant going really slowly. The zoo is divided into two major exhibits, the Africa side and the North America side. We only covered the Africa side, and left North America for another time. After all, Africa has all of the really cool animals that we wanted to see.

(Note the tiny baby giraffe sitting down. He was just born at the zoo recently. I love him.)

Gorgeous. Think they’d let me take her home? I’ll bet Beaumont would like a friend.

This was Lucy’s first time at a zoo, and I was interested to see what her reaction was. She was mildly interested in things like the elephants.

But it was the chimpanzees and the gorillas that really got her attention. I think maybe because the exhibits let you see them so close, but I got this picture after Lucy saw a gorilla up close for the first time, and I think it might be one of my favorite pictures of her.

She was just STUNNED. It was hilarious. After a minute, she got excited and spent the next few minutes saying, “ooh ooh ahh ahh” at them. As we left, she blew them kisses and yelled, “Bye-bye!!”

So, I think she’s a fan of the zoo.

She got tired toward the end, and she only wants my dad when she’s grumpy, which led to this picture, which I love.

It was a really great day, even in spite of the drizzly rain, and both kids were so worn out that they went to bed early and slept soundly all night, so who knows? We might go to the zoo every Sunday from now on. (Not really. But it’s a nice thought.)

digging in the dirt

Posted on September 10, 2012 by Cindy

I’ve been trying so hard lately to make the weekends our fun time. Call it a case of Working Mom Guilt, I guess. Labor Day weekend was a huge success, we had a blast all weekend.

This past weekend started off rough because I’m sick. I’ve had a sinus infection for over a week, and on Friday I woke up with pink eye. (Lawd, motherhood is so glamorous, y’all.) On Saturday I felt absolutely horrible, and the kids were so full of energy that they were practically bouncing off the walls. I took them both to a drop-in daycare near our house so they could play for a while, and then I went home and went back to sleep for 2 hours. It’s an expensive way to nap, but I was desperate.

(Normally I’d call my parents for help in a situation like that, but Mississippi State was playing a football game on Saturday, and if there’s one absolute rule in the universe, it’s that you don’t bother my dad when the Bulldogs are on TV.)

After I picked them up, we headed to my parents’ house (because the football game was over), and my dad kept Lucy busy, while my mom and Catie did some gardening together.

I love that they have their special little thing that they do together. I can’t keep a plant alive to save my life, but Catie and my mom both love playing around in the dirt, so I guess it skips a generation.

(If your kid asks you to take a picture of her foot and her Mimi’s foot while they stomp the dirt back in to the flower beds, you take the picture and don’t ask questions.)

On Sunday, I felt slightly better, and Catie has been asking for some one-on-one time with me, so I loaded up on DayQuil, dropped Lucy with my parents, and we headed to the North Carolina Museum of Life and Science.

I think the high yesterday was about 79, it was so nice to be outside and not sweating for a change. The weather was perfect, and it was so fun to have a special Mommy and Catie Day Out.

My kid clearly has a serious thing for digging in the dirt. She says she’s going to be a paleontologist when she grows up. She is such a wonderful, glorious little weirdo, and I had an absolute blast spending the day with her.

I know that with every age she reaches, I think, “Oooh, this! This is my favorite age yet!” But really, I think 5 year-olds are freaking awesome.

Some of the time that we were at the museum, I was thinking that I should’ve brought Lucy with us, because I know she would’ve liked a lot of it, but Lucy also gets worn out quickly, and there’s no way we could’ve stayed at the museum as long as we did if Lucy had come with us. We were there for well over 3 hours, which is WAY too much stimulation for a 15 month-old.

But I didn’t have to worry about Lucy. She had a blast hanging out with my parents. And apparently she decided that their bathtub is her new favorite place to play.

Wonderful, glorious little weirdos, both of them. And I couldn’t love them more.

on big wheels and toddler classes

Posted on August 27, 2012 by Cindy

The family that lives next door to my parents’ house has two little girls that are close to Catie’s age (I think they’re 6 & 7). The parents are super friendly and easy to chat with, which I love. And the kids are so polite and sweet, and they always seem happy to have Catie around to play with, even though she’s younger than them, which I appreciate.

They had a tricycle/big wheel thing which they had outgrown, and they thought that my girls might like it. So they gave it to us, which was unexpected but just really nice and generous of them. Catie likes it even though she’s a little bit too tall for it, and Lucy loves it (her feet don’t reach the pedals yet, but I have a feeling it won’t be long until they do).

There’s no real point to that story, I just had these pictures of the girls and the big wheel, and I love that Catie has kids around that she can play with.

————————————————————————————————

Also this weekend: my sister was in town, which was nice because she’s basically the easiest house guest in the world. I don’t have to play hostess with her – she knows where everything is, she helps out with the kids (more Catie than Lucy, but that’s because Lucy is still a little unsure of her and Catie wants Tracy all to herself), and it’s just really fun to have her around.

Then after the kids are in bed, we crack ourselves up talking about random stuff like old Spanish ladies who botch restorations of paintings of Jesus and laugh until we cry. (If you click that 2nd link? I think the Mona Lisa & The Last Supper are my favorites.)

So it was nice to have her here. And since Catie was distraught after she left (because my sister is her favorite person on earth), I distracted her by taking her to a playdate at a friend’s house. Her friend just got a brand new (teeny-tiny, completely adorable) puppy, so that worked as a distraction.

Although now I’m waiting for Catie to start asking when she can get a puppy, which… no. No, no, no. Between two kids and a cat, I am maxed out on the amount of poop that I have to clean up every day. We will not be adding a dog to the mix anytime soon.

————————————————————————————————

And, about Lucy? Girlfriend is fully walking. Like, everywhere, all the time.

She’s not entirely steady on her feet. You know how toddlers walk sort of like tiny drunks? Yeah, that. I’m pretty sure Lucy couldn’t pass a field sobriety test if she tried. But she’s walking, and that’s all that matters.

At daycare this morning, they decided that since she’s walking now, she’s ready to move up from the baby room to the toddler class. This was kind of a huge deal.

As the daycare director led her out of the room to go down the hall to the toddler class, I half-expected Lucy to look over her shoulder and yell, “Peace out, BABIES!” Instead she just waved and said, “Bah-bye.” But I knew what she really meant.

The strange part is that I feel like I should be sad about her moving up to the toddler class. Like it’s another loss of her babyhood, as she grows into her toddler years. But I’m not mourning the baby phase at all. Instead I feel like, “Whew, we survived that. Thank god. Next phase!”

Is that weird? I don’t know, I think I’m a better parent to kids that are mobile and have a firm grasp of the English language. They’re just easier for me to figure out.

I really, really like my big kids. I can’t wait to see what they do next.

…and I think I overdosed on shellfish

Posted on August 20, 2012 by Cindy

I was really hesitant about our trip to the beach this past weekend. The last time we went, Catie was terrified of the water and spent the entire time building sandcastles, and she refused to so much as dip a single toe in the water.

This year, I think it’s safe to say that she’s overcome her nervousness.

She still won’t dunk her head under water, but I wasn’t really a fan of that in the ocean, either. She went out a lot farther than I was expecting, and she had an absolute blast.

My brother gets MAJOR cool uncle points not only for taking her out to jump waves, but also for spending ages helping her collect seashells.

Lucy was not so sure about the water at first either. It was windy, she hadn’t napped enough that day, it had the makings to be disastrous.

Then my dad took her out and dipped her toes in the water. She decided quickly that this whole beach thing was pretty awesome.

They both had a blast. It was fantastic, and I can’t wait to take them again.

Random aside, but a little backstory: back in 1943, when my dad was 7 years old, his father (my granddad) was enlisted in the Army during World War II. Instead of going overseas, though, he was stationed in Daytona Beach, Florida. (Apparently because my granddad was in his mid-30s at the time, he was deemed “too old” to actually go to the front lines. My, how times have changed, no?) So my dad & his parents lived in Florida for a year, then moved back to Mississippi. My dad often talks about living in Daytona and how he’d go to the beach and jump the waves every day after school. He really loved the ocean. The last time he went into the ocean was apparently in the early 1970s, before I was born. So this was long overdue for him.

Honest to God, I haven’t seen my dad that happy in ages. He laughed and laughed and jumped the waves like he was a freaking teenager, and not a 76 year-old man. He’s usually such a grump, it was great to see him downright giddy.

Also, my favorite moment of the day was watching my parents hold hands as they walked out into the ocean to jump waves together. It was such a sweet moment between the two of them. I so wish I had gotten a picture of it, but I was holding Lucy and a bunch of other stuff and I couldn’t get the camera out in time.

Overall, it was a great day at the beach. Everyone had great fun and we completely wore ourselves out.

After the beach, we came back to the hotel, showered the sand off of ourselves, and went out to dinner. We happened to pass a little seafood restaurant a couple of doors down from our hotel, and we decided to try it out. If you’re ever in Wilmington, go to Hieronymus, because OMG the food was a-ma-zing.

That night, my brother earned even more Cool Uncle Points by helping Catie as she washed and sorted all of the seashells that she had collected on the beach that day.

(Related: I now have to buy some kind of display jar to hold her seashell collection because holy crap we have a TON of them.)

…And Lucy eventually sacked out on my mom.

The next day, my brother headed home, and we toured downtown Wilmington for a little bit, then met up with Ali and her husband for lunch before we headed home. It was a short trip, but it was fantastic and definitely needed.

We’re already planning our next beach trip… I’m thinking next month when Catie is tracked out from her year-round school. Maybe we’ll stay two nights next time so we can allow for maximum wave-jumping time.

I can’t wait.

PooBou.com

Mom. Stepmom. Nerd. Feminist. Pretty good wife. Outstanding ex-wife. I try to keep it light and funny. I'm not always successful.

Category Archives: Friends & Family

Raise a glass

visitation

random Monday thoughts

Rainy zoo days

digging in the dirt

on big wheels and toddler classes

…and I think I overdosed on shellfish

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: