Category Archives: Friends & Family

First Father's Day

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In honor of Dave’s first Father’s Day, last night we had our first official Date Night. Dave and I haven’t had an evening that was just the two of us since Cate was born, so it sounded like a good idea. Kris came over to baby-sit, while we went to dinner and a movie. It was so nice. We went to this great little Italian place for dinner, and then we went to see “Ocean’s Thirteen”. (Which was surprisingly entertaining. And hello, two hours of Clooney. No complaints here.)

I had called Kris to check in between dinner and the movie, just to see how things were going. She said she was in the middle of giving Cate a bottle, and everything was fine so far. I set my cell phone to vibrate in case Kris needed anything during the movie, and we sat close to the aisle so I could easily jump out of the theater to answer the phone if necessary.

Two hours later, we got home, and the first thing I noticed was that Kris had pulled her hair back into a ponytail (it was down when we left) and she wasn’t wearing the same shirt she had on earlier. She also had that sort of wild-eyed, crazed look that I imagine people have after they’ve just emerged from some sort of battle. Uh-oh.

She was so apologetic, all “oh my god, I hope I didn’t traumatize her for life, she didn’t stop crying for TWO SOLID HOURS, and I didn’t know what to do, but I didn’t call you because I didn’t want to ruin your date night.” There was apparently also a rather huge barf incident, which explained the wardrobe change. (Cate was also in a different outfit, but she was asleep in the swing when we got home, so I didn’t notice that right away.)

I felt so bad. I knew Kris was kind of nervous about being alone with the baby for the first time, and I was really hoping that Cate would go easy on her, but no such luck. And all of my little tips that I gave her – all of the things that I do to calm Cate down when she gets fussy – failed miserably.

As for Kris’s fear that she traumatized Cate, I think we don’t have to worry too much about that. She seemed to have recovered completely by this morning.

I don’t know if I can say the same for Kris, but hopefully she’s ok and will be willing to baby-sit for us again. Even if it isn’t until Cate is in kindergarten.

step one of a major transition

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So, remember how I said that Dave and I decided we didn’t want to move to the Bay area? And that we were kicking around some other ideas?

Well, we started doing some research on Dave’s employer, and it turns out that they have lots of satellite offices all over the US. For a while, we were thinking about Colorado: it’s a nice state, a bit closer to our families, cost of living is cheaper, yadda yadda.

Then Dave found out that there’s an office in Durham, North Carolina. When Dave told me that, I started jumping up & down saying, “Can we move there? Can we? Can we? Huh? Pleeeeease? Can we???”

The ironic part, of course, is that for years I swore up and down and all around that I would never live in the South again. Ever. I hate the heat, I hate the bugs, and I hate the racism/sexism/homophobia. I’ve now moved around enough to realize that insects and discrimination are everywhere. And the heat in North Carolina isn’t as bad as Mississippi. At least everywhere is air-conditioned there, which is way more than I can say for Washington.

I guess the explanation for my total change of heart is that – surprise, surprise! – it’s actually true what people say about how having kids totally changes your priorities. The idea of a simple two-hour flight to see either my parents or my sister (as opposed to the six or seven hours it currently takes), and being just down the road a bit from my brother in Charlotte suddenly sounds really appealing. There’s even a direct flight from Raleigh to London that’s only 7 1/2 hours, rather than the ten hours it takes now. So Cate would be closer to her grandparents on both sides, which can only be a good thing.

Plus, let’s not forget one of the biggest perks, which is that Cate and e-baby could grow up having regular playdates! How awesome is that?

I was trying not to talk about this at first, mostly for fear of jinxing it, but Dave talked to his boss, who basically said that it was cool for us to move wherever after Dave finishes his current project (read: December). And that’s fine because we apparently can’t sell our house before May 2008 anyway (damn you, AmeriQuest, damn you all to heck!!). Unless we want to fork over several thousand dollars as a “pre-payment penalty” on our mortgage, which, no thanks. But it looks like this could very likely happen next year.

Of course, it also depends on Dave and I taking a trip there to check out the area, and making sure that both of us fall in love with it. Which I don’t think is going to be a problem. Right now I’m totally addicted to looking at houses online, and oh man, the houses there are so pretty. I love the Pacific Northwest, but the houses are seriously dull-looking. And North Carolina real estate is so much cheaper than the Seattle area! We could be debt-free and have a decent savings built up in just a few years. College funds and everything. I can’t even fathom it. Sounds like bliss.

my space or yours?

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I finally got a MySpace page, mainly because Kris and a couple of other friends bugged me about it. So fine. Here’s my page – if any of you are on MySpace, please be my friend? Right now I only have a few people, and it looks really sad.

It’s weird, though, ever since I set up the account, I’ve been obsessively looking for people I used to know, and I’ve found so many of them. Heck, I have relatives on MySpace, and I didn’t even know about it until I just happened upon their pages. And virtually every boy I’ve ever had a crush on? They’re all on MySpace. Including the guy I lost my virginity to. Yikes! I emailed him, but I have no idea if I’m going to get a response. It was almost 12 years ago, and I’m guessing I probably scared the bejeezus out of him with my little “Hi!! Remember me?” note.

There’s also an ex-boyfriend of mine I found, who I’ve stayed friends with over the years, so I wasn’t surprised to find his page. But apparently he doesn’t read this blog, and he hasn’t seen me in the past six or seven years, so he was all, “Daaaaamn! You look great!” Which… yeah, ok. He’s a nice guy and things didn’t end badly between us at all, but that was still a nice little “HA! So there!” kind of moment.

Yeah. I know, I’m a freak.

back home again

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The trip to Mississippi was so much fun, and this post would be a mile long if I mentioned everything that happened, so I’ll try to keep it (relatively) short with some highlights:

  • I scored a ton of baby clothes, courtesy of my mom. At least half of them involve ruffles across the butt. They’re hilarious.
  • My dad and I took Cate for a lot of walks around the neighborhood. My dad walks at least 2 miles a day, in addition to his daily golf game – not bad for a 71 year-old guy. Since we went on his usual route, he got to stop along the way to show Cate off to the neighbors, which he loved. It’s so funny to see what a softie he’s become in his old age.
  • My parents, Cate and I had dinner with Sally and Larry Ferrari. Sally is just as funny in person as she is on her website, so if you ever have the opportunity to meet her, I highly recommend it. We ate at a place called Hamil’s, which was a buffet of all kinds of old-fashioned Southern food. I managed to resist the urge to shovel the fried okra into my mouth by the handful, but I think I probably talked with my mouth full. A lot. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until afterward, I just could not. stop. eating. Go me with the fabulous first impressions.

    Oh, it was also funny trying to explain to my dad what a “blog” is and how Sally and I sort of already knew each other even though we hadn’t technically met in person yet.

  • The second stop on my meeting-other-bloggers tour was to have lunch with Danielle and Emily. Emily is such a cutie with her big blue eyes and 2 bottom teeth. She’s one of the smiley-est babies (yes, I just made up a word) I’ve ever met. It was a lot of fun.
  • After lunch with Danielle, I had the most surreal part of my trip: since I was in the neighborhood, and Cate was asleep in the car seat, I drove past my old school, where I went from 2nd through 11th grades. The school closed down in 2000, so it’s been sitting there abandoned for the past several years. The playground is all overgrown with weeds, the buildings are falling apart, and the gymnasium was gutted by a fire a few months ago (apparently vagrants had been living in there). It was so bizarre, like seeing something from your childhood in a dream. I can’t say I felt sad about it, since I don’t have very many happy memories associated with the place. It was just strange.

    Interesting tidbit: before my school bought the facility in the early 80’s, it had been a White Citizens’ Council school. It’s ironic that the neighborhood surrounding the school is now almost entirely African-American. There seems to be some sort of poetic justice in that.

  • Continuing with the baby-oriented theme, my sister and I met up with a couple of her friends who have babies too. One was her former college roommate, who has a baby girl exactly one month younger than Cate. The other was a friend who now has three girls: a 9 year-old, a 6 year-old, and a 9 month-old. I’m exhausted just writing that sentence, I don’t know how she does it.
  • One little self-discovery that I made on this trip: in the past, I’ve always been very tense when I go to Jackson. Growing up there wasn’t a happy time for me, and every time I’ve gone back to visit, I’ve emotionally gone back to that very insecure and unhappy place. But it didn’t happen. I’m not sure why – maybe it’s my age, the fact that I’m married, that I’m now a mom, or maybe it’s a combination of all of it. But I was totally fine and happy this time. Weird.

    One of the nights that I called Dave to check in, I told him how I was surprised to feel completely un-stressed, and he asked if that meant that I wanted to move back to Mississippi. Um, NO. Even though his salary would take us a lot farther there than it does in Washington, and he works from home so theoretically we could make that work. And it would be nice to live closer to my parents. There’s still the issue of the heat and the bugs, and the fact that I absolutely love the Pacific Northwest. So I think we’re staying put for the foreseeable future.

  • The flight home was pretty easy – I had nice flight attendants, Cate slept most of the way, fussed very little, UNTIL. About 15 minutes before we started our descent into Seattle, it occurred to me that it had been about 5 hours since I changed Cate’s diaper, so I’d better hurry up and do that before she soaked through her little outfit. We grabbed our supplies and headed off to the restroom. (Cue the music of impending DOOM.)

    I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but Cate has a tendency to pee the second that I undo her diaper and she feels a draft of fresh air on her bits. Normally I’m on the lookout for it, and I’m able to catch the stream in the already-wet diaper. No big deal, right? Well, this time I thought I had caught it, but I was sadly mistaken. And I didn’t realize that the flip-down changing table in the airplane restroom was slightly tilted. And my changing pad is waterproof. So the pee went all the way up her back, thoroughly soaking her outfit, and made a little puddle right at the back of her head. She had pee IN HER HAIR. Oh my good lord. Eww eww eww. I tried to clean her up with wet paper towels and baby wipes, but seriously, how gross is that?

    Our plane got in at 10:45 p.m., so it was after midnight by the time we got home from the airport. I hadn’t been planning to give Cate a bath the minute that we got home, but after the pee incident, that plan changed. I started calling her Pee Head, and Dave came up with one even better: Catie Urinatey. I’m afraid she might have a new permanent nickname. Poor kid.

    • So now we’re home and settling back into our routine. And I have to go catch up on a week’s worth of blogs that I’ve been missing. Whee!

    blogging from Mississippi

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    I know I’m overdue for an update, but I’ve been having a blast visiting with my family and all sorts of other cool folks. Cate and I are headed home tomorrow evening, and we’re both missing Dave a lot, so we’re very much looking forward to seeing him.

    Until I get a chance to recap this whole trip, you can see the pictures here.

    baby's first flight

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    Our flight to Mississippi was really not so bad. The TSA folks were very helpful in getting my car seat & stroller on the conveyor belt, which was difficult for me since I was carrying Cate. One of the TSA guys even talked to her and called her adorable. Shocked the heck out of me, since I have never known them to be even remotely polite. I guess that shows what traveling with a baby can do for you.

    However, we were running a little late, so once we got through security, we had to go straight to the gate to board. No time to stop and use the bathroom, which was unfortunate for me since I had downed two Diet Cokes already. Hmm.

    We got on the plane, and I immediately whipped out the Baby Tylenol plus Cold medicine. I figured the decongestant would help Cate with the ear pressure, and maybe it would also make her sleepy, which would just be a bonus. I gave her a half-dose, and she dribbled half of that onto her outfit, so I figured it probably wasn’t enough to do any good. Five minutes later, she went from bouncing and laughing on my lap to being totally zonked. She proceeded to sleep for the next 2 hours. She’d occasionally wake up and look around, and she seemed completely stoned. I know it’s wrong, but it was completely hilarious.

    Oh, back to that other issue. So as soon as we were in the air and the “fasten seat belt” light was turned off, I got up and bolted for the restroom. There were 3 flight attendants: two women and a very obviously gay man.* I asked if one of them could please hold Cate while I went to the bathroom, and they all looked at me like I had three heads. Absolute disgust. Finally the guy stepped up and said he was afraid of babies. I told him that Cate didn’t have teeth, so she couldn’t bite, and I’d go as fast as possible. He held her out in front of him like she was an hors d’oeurve tray. Yeah. Totally natural. I peed at lightning speed and got us back to our seat.

    *Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    But Cate did really well – she fussed a little bit when the plane started its descent, so I popped a pacifier in her mouth and she was fine. Oh, and she did indeed poop on the plane, but there was a changing table in the bathroom, so no big deal.

    Our connection was in Houston, and the flight from there to Jackson was one of those tiny little 35-seater planes. I didn’t realize until we boarded that Cate and I were in one of the bulkhead rows, which is great for legroom, but that means there’s no seat in front of me to put my diaper bag under. I asked the flight attendant if I could please keep the bag behind my legs, so I could reach bottles/pacifiers/etc., and she said that was fine. I thanked her, and then muttered to the guy next to me, “That’s the first nice thing a flight attendant has done for me all day.” She overheard me, and said, “Really? Oh, bless your heart!” (God, I love Southerners for that expression.) After that, she kept coming over to check on us and see if we were ok, and she helped me with my bags after we landed, and she was just generally awesome. I really hope she’s on our return flight, although I know the odds are pretty slim.

    Anyway, my folks picked us up, and everything’s gone well so far. The weather’s been nice, my dad and I took Cate for a walk around the neighborhood, my mom made an awesome dinner (fried shrimp, steamed sugar snap peas and baked potatoes… yum), and we’ve just been hanging out. Cate slept pretty well last night, probably because she was exhausted after such an adventure-packed day.

    Oh, and tonight we get to have dinner with Sally. And maybe Larry Ferrari too. Yay!

    it's not un-yooo-sual

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    Cate’s two month pediatrician appointment was this afternoon. Baby Girl now weighs 11 pounds, 7 ounces – she’s basically doubled her birth weight. I guess that explains those chubby little cheeks, no?

    She also got four vaccines today. I made Dave come with us, so I wouldn’t be the evil mommy who takes her to the mean doctor’s office. It’s only fair, we both had to endure the Wrath. Have you ever seen a baby open her mouth in a scream face and no noise comes out for like ten seconds, because there’s a really long inhale that’s leading to one ginormous, earth-splitting shriek? Yeah, we had that. It was pretty awful.

    Before the doctor’s appointment, she was all happy and playful. And since today is my dad’s birthday, I made a movie of her this morning “dancing” in her new bouncer, which she absolutely adores. (The other bouncer, which I bought at a garage sale for $3, lives in our bathroom so I have a place to put her when I need to get dressed or take a shower.)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTrsAT65BA8

    Notice the collar on her pajamas there? The poor baby has like five chins and almost no neck, so I can’t button the top snap on most of her little outfits. The end result is a little Tom Jones-ish. I think I need to get her some gold necklaces and maybe draw on some fake chest hair to complete the look.