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New Year’s meme for 2011

Well, this is probably going to be depressing, but it seems to be my annual tradition…

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Got separated. Hired a divorce attorney. A lot of other things I’d rather not remember.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I just checked last year’s meme, and this was my resolution:

Sometime in late spring/early summer, I plan to deliver a happy, healthy, preferably human baby. Let’s see how it goes!

So, yeah. I did that. Yay me! I didn’t make any other resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
ME! Plus about a hundred or so other friends and family members.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my dad’s cousin (sort of like an uncle to me). He was a very sweet man, and he’ll be very missed.

5. What countries did you visit?
Huh. I’m not even sure if I left the state of North Carolina this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Stability. Calmness. Serenity. Less drama. Two kids who sleep through the night in their own damn beds. Little things.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 31st – Lucy was born.
August 9th – Dave and I separated.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I went from a temp employee at my job to a permanent employee in February. That was a pretty big deal at the time.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My marriage. Enough said.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Technically my health insurance paid for it, but I’m going to say it was the epidural when I had Lucy.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom. I hope that my kids grow up and know that 35 years from now, if they need me, they can call me and I’ll drop everything to be there for them. If that ends up being true, I’ll consider myself a successful parent.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I refuse to answer this for legal purposes. If you know the inside scoop on my life, you can probably guess.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Daycare. Lawyers.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The arrival of Lucy. The sale of my house.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Most stuff by Bruno Mars. For this reason.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Most definitely sadder. But optimistic because I know it’s temporary.
b) thinner or fatter? Well, I’m not pregnant anymore, so I guess I’m thinner.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer. So much poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveling. Reading books. Doing fun stuff with my girls.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Moping. Yelling. Crying.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with Catie, Lucy, my parents, and my siblings. It was really nice.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
No. Sort of the opposite, in fact.

Unless you count falling in love with your kids, because…

And then the little one noticed my camera.

My god, yes. Them.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Not sure I had one. Probably Hoarders.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
See question 13 – no comment.

24. What was the best book you read?
I don’t think I finished a single book that I started this year.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Piano Guys. Who knew I’d ever have an obsession with the cello?

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26. What did you want and get by year’s end?
My parents moved here. We sold our house. I found a rental house for me and the girls.

27. What did you want and not get by year’s end?
A sense of closure.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I’m suddenly completely blank. Did I see any movies this year that weren’t animated? I mean, I took Catie to see “Gnomeo and Juliet” and “Rio,” but those aren’t on my list of fine quality films, so… yeah. I don’t know.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 35. I don’t think we did anything since I was pregnant and miserable.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If my marriage hadn’t fallen apart, that would’ve been nice.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Total lack of fashion, all functional. I’m working on fixing that, though. I bought some cute boots as a Christmas gift to myself, and my goal is to try to take the time to make myself feel cute, because I feel a lot better about myself when I do.

32. What kept you sane?
It’s probably bad to answer this question with Lexapro, but… yes. Lexapro.

Also, my friends and family who let me vent whenever I needed to. Y’all know who you are. And you’re awesome.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I will admit that I have a huge crush on Matt Paxton, the extreme cleaning guy on Hoarders. Because I love the idea of a man who knows how to clean up after himself. That Corey dude isn’t too shabby either.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Probably the Amendment 26 vote in Mississippi. It’s my home state and I still get worked up about a lot of political issues there. This is one of the few times one of their elections turned out the way it should have.

35. Who did you miss?
I missed my Grandmother a lot this year. She’s Lucy’s namesake, and sometimes I look at my two girls and think about how much she would have adored them. She died 15 years ago, and I still miss her. My sister and I wore some of her jewelry to church on Christmas Eve this year.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
My new friend Tanya, another single mom at Catie’s daycare, who has been an invaluable resource to me over the past few months. It helps to have a friend who’s been through all of this stuff before, and survived to tell the tale.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Sometimes the people you thought you knew the best, turn out to be complete strangers to you.

Also, I can survive a lot more than I ever thought I could. Who knew?

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“Soap and water
Take the day from my hand,
Scrub the salt from my stinging skin,
Slip me loose of this wedding band.”
– Suzanne Vega, “Soap and Water”

(Yeah. I told you this was going to be depressing. Sorry.)

So, happy new year everybody. Let’s hope 2012 is far, far better than 2011.

2 Comments »

tell me my future

Full disclosure up front: I don’t usually do these types of promotional blog posts, but I was offered the chance to get a free psychic reading, and if you’ve seen the last couple of blog posts about how my life is going these days? Then you know that I need all the help I can get right now.

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I’m generally iffy on psychics. I’ve been to a few. You know, the dude with the Tarot cards in the French Quarter in New Orleans. There are tons of them that set up their folding tables in Jackson Square, right in front of St. Louis Cathedral. I always thought it was odd, the way that the voodoo and Catholicism are juxtaposed so closely to each other.

I usually find that most psychics aren’t so much about predicting the future, they’re just really good at reading people, picking up cues, and telling things about themselves in a way that sounds… well, supernatural, I guess.

But I do believe that some people – a very select few – have genuine psychic abilities. When I was in college in Memphis, I heard about one lady who was supposed to be amazing. I went to see her, and she knew all kinds of things about me that nobody could pick up through social cues. Like, she knew that my grandmother died the day after Christmas the previous year, that kind of thing. It was really unnerving, all of the stuff she knew. It freaked me out.

Oh, and that same lady warned me about a guy who I had had a fling with on a recent vacation, and told me that I should stay away from him because he would show up several more times throughout my life, and he was nothing but trouble. I laughed it off, because, you know, it was a vacation fling and I didn’t think I’d ever see the guy again. Two weeks later, he called me. And I’ve seen him a few times since then, and let me tell you, BOY WAS SHE RIGHT. Dude really was nothing but trouble.

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SO! Getting to the point, which is the psychic reading I had today.

The main thing she told me, which I really needed to hear, is that my girls and I are going to be ok. She said that Catie and Lucy will “rise above” this divorce situation and go on to be successful adults. She said that Lucy will be a lawyer, and Catie could be either a diplomat or something to with the sciences or fine arts. (That’s kind of a wide spectrum, and I find the idea of career planning for a 3 month-old to be sort of hilarious. We’ll wait and see, I guess?)

She said that the girls and I are going to get involved in some hobbies that we all do together. She wasn’t sure what, but that it has something to do with ecology or nature. She said she saw Catie playing with tadpoles with some other little girls.

Now, if you know me, you know that I am so not a nature girl. But yeah, I can totally see Catie playing with anything that’s related to amphibians or reptiles, so she might be right on that part.

She also said that I’ll be remarried within two years, which made me laugh. She told me all kind of details about this alleged future husband (he works in stocks, he’s divorced with a couple of kids who live with their mother, etc.), and I seriously could not stop giggling the whole time she was telling me this. Because, well, NO.

I mean, I know that I shouldn’t speak in absolutes, but let me just say that right now? I totally understand the George Clooney approach to marriage. He was divorced once, and he says that’s why he’s never getting married again. I always thought that was silly, but now? I totally understand you, George.

Of course, if I end up marrying a stockbroker sometime in 2013, y’all can remind me of this post and point out just how wrong I was. I guess time will tell, right?

P.S. Unfortunately, she did not tell me that some previously-unknown billionaire relative is going to pass away and leave me all their money. Damn.

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No BlogHer for me

This is kind of a bummer, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I really can’t go to BlogHer this year. Two major reasons:

1. Money. I’m currently on an unpaid maternity leave, so spending a huge amount of money for airfare to San Diego, plus hotel, meals, taxis, etc.? It’s just not practical right now.

Plus, Dave’s 40th birthday is in September and we were going to try to do a family trip then, so I should really be putting any “fun” money toward a trip for all of us, rather than something just for me.

2. Lucy. My original plan, back when I bought my BlogHer conference pass in December, was that I’d go and bring Lucy with me. I’ve seen people bring babies to conferences before, and she’s tiny, so it’s easy, right? Just put her in a wrap or a sling and go. No big deal!

Only, I seem to have a baby that does not sleep through noise, so the parties would be difficult. And I couldn’t go to any sessions because I wouldn’t want to disrupt them with a crying baby. Dave has said repeatedly that I can leave both kids with him, and he can manage fine. And I’m sure that’s true, but my heart just can’t leave Lucy for three days when she’s this tiny.

So, I’m selling my conference pass. I got it at the super early bird price, so it’s only $150, if anyone reading this is interested at all.

I’m really bummed to miss it, because I love so many people who’ll be there. But there’s always next year. Money should be less of an issue then, and Lucy will be over a year old, so I’ll (hopefully) feel less guilty about leaving her.

Lucy's agenda for today: nap on mom's lap. Check.

I mean, come ON. Could you leave that face?

And for those of you who will be in San Diego: drink something fruity (preferably with alcohol in it) for me, ok?

6 Comments »

New Year’s Meme (again)

I’ve been seeing a lot of my friends post these, and I remembered that I’ve done it a couple of years myself. So, here we go again.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
I tried out a job as an IT recruiter. It didn’t go well, and I quit in September.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions. But I’ll make one this year: sometime in late spring/early summer, I plan to deliver a happy, healthy, preferably human baby. Let’s see how it goes!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A friend who I’ve known since I was about 7 years old had a baby girl (not sure if she reads this, but hi Allison!). And about a million Internet friends had babies. (Another million of us all got pregnant this year.)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. Although technically, my uncle was dead for several minutes after a major heart attack, but thank God, he came back to us and seems to be doing really well.

5. What countries did you visit?
Stayed in the US. Hell, I didn’t even make it west of the Mississippi River this year. Lame.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Same answer as last year: financial stability. We’re working toward that, slooooowly.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 27th – My baby girl turned 3 years old.
September 22nd – Found out I was pregnant with baby #2.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Besides getting pregnant? I really, really, really wanted a specific job, and I got it.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I was not as kind or patient as I should be with the people I love the most. They deserve my best, and I catch myself phoning it in way too often.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Besides scarring my elbow forever, and a few rounds of sinus-related gunk, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I just blanked on major purchases this year. Dave tends to be the Head Gadget Buyer in our house, and I can’t really think of anything I bought myself. Um, I got a new iPhone after mine was lost/stolen at BlogHer? I guess that counts?

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Catie’s, for showing me how to conquer my fears by overcoming her own, on a regular basis.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Besides celebrities and politicians? Maybe some distant family members who I probably should not be Facebook friends with, but overall? I think everyone is doing ok.

14. Where did most of your money go?
House. Debts. Daycare. The usual.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Babies! My own, of course, plus all of my friends who had babies or who got pregnant this year.

Also, at the risk of sounding like a total dork, my job. I really love it.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
A lot of songs by Lady Gaga and the Blackeyed Peas, because I listened to it non-stop when I was working out. And also because Catie learned the words to some of them, and there is nothing funnier than a three year-old singing “Bad Romance.”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Pregnant ladies probably shouldn’t answer this question, as the answer is subject to change on a minute-by-minute basis. Let’s just say the same.
b) thinner or fatter? Ha! Definitely fatter.
c) richer or poorer? I think our financial situation is actually less bleak than last year, so, I guess richer?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Outings with my family.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yelling.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We stayed in our pajamas most of the day, watched movies, and ate a ton of food. It was heaven.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Already in love. Stayed there.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
LOST. And I’m still sad about it ending. Other contenders: Project Runway, Big Love, Hoarders.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nah. I try not to hold on to grudges as a rule.

24. What was the best book you read?
I started several books and didn’t finish a single one. So I’m going to say “The Help,” because I finally finished it this year, and it was a damn fine read.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I’m currently obsessed with Crowded House, but since everything I’m listening to is well over ten years old, I don’t think that counts.

I also can’t stop playing this guitar piece that Dave shared on Facebook recently.

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Catie loves it too. She said she’s going to learn how to play that when she’s a grown-up, and immediately asked me to play it again when it was over. She watched it carefully, and said, “I think this is a song for the baby Jeegus.” I get what she means, it sounds reverential and almost like something you’d hear in church. I just love her way of phrasing things.

26. What did you want and get by year’s end?
Pregnant.

27. What did you want and not get by year’s end?
A million dollars.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Inception.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 34, and we went out to dinner. Dave got me a couple of really good gifts, as he always does.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If my parents had been able to sell their house and move to North Carolina. Fingers crossed that it’ll happen before baby #2 arrives!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Jeans and sneakers. Currently wearing maternity clothes from 2006 that are way too small on me. It’s totally adorable, trust me. (Ha!)

32. What kept you sane?
All of the weekend mornings when Dave would get up with Catie and take her out so I could sleep late. He’s a keeper, that one.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Same answer as last year. George Clooney, and Josh Holloway from LOST (if you don’t know who he is, do a Google image search. You’re welcome).

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I spent way too much time and energy way too fired up about too many things.

35. Who did you miss?
My mom. I wish she lived closer. Hopefully soon!

36. Who was the best new person you met?
After BlogHer, there are far too many to list.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
I need to focus more positive attention on the people I love, and make sure they always know exactly how important they are to me.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“I could get carried away,
but not anymore.
What was it I heard you say?
You love me cuz I’m strong.
I hope that you’re not wrong.”
– “Hot Gets a Little Cold,” Cyndi Lauper

4 Comments »

blog goes kerblooey

Ok, I tried to install a plug-in last week that would allow for threaded comments (you know, where you can reply to a specific comment rather than just tacking it on to the end), because I thought that sounded cool. It didn’t work, and now nobody can leave comments on my site at all. I’m talking to my web host tech support people to see if they can help me. Hopefully I’ll be back up & running soon!

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drowning

Dear Blog,

I miss you. I hope to be back soon.

Love,
Cindy

P.S. Everything is FINE. Just crazy busy. Will write more when I get a chance to take a breath.

1 Comment »

Big News, and also: Delurking Day!

First of all, it’s apparently National Delurking Day.

Delurker Day!

So if you read this site but never comment, today is the day that you’re supposed to say something. Even if it’s just a simple “hi.” It’s kinda nice to know who’s out there in the big bad Internet, you know?

Ok, moving on to the BIG NEWS of the day…

I GOT A JOB!!!

If you read this post last week, it’s the one I referred to as “Job A.” It’s full-time, working-from-home. I don’t want to get into too many details about what I’ll be doing because I’m not sure how prudent that is. It’s still in the IT industry, although it’s in an area that I have absolutely ZERO experience with, but it still sounds like it’s going to be a lot of fun.

Now, I just have to figure out how to accommodate Catie in all of this. She already has daycare two days a week, and that’s great. I think I have a temporary solution for the other three days of the week for now. The main thing is going to be finding a preschool for her in the fall. And of course, most of the preschools around here are enrolling kids, like, right now as I type. I’m not worried, we’ll figure it out, it’s just going to take some research to find something that’s a good fit for all of us.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go wake up my baby girl from a nap and take her to the movies to see “The Princess and the Frog.” Because days like these needs a little celebration.

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