Lately, I’ve been feeling like maybe the Lexapro is finally starting to kick in. Everything in my life is starting to feel calmer and more relaxed. Sort of like, OK, I know this baby is coming and it’s going to bring chaos into our lives (because that’s what babies do), but we’ll just put on our seat belts and go along for the ride. It feels manageable, where it absolutely did not feel that way a month ago. So that’s good.
And since I’m feeling calmer, I’m starting to focus more on what needs to be done before this kid arrives. I realize, of course, since this isn’t my first baby, that I don’t need to do that much. It’s funny, I had this ridiculously long to-do list before Catie was born, and this time, it’s more like:
* The infant car seat needs to be installed.
* Wash some newborn-size clothes.
* Have some burp cloths, bibs, and receiving blankets on hand, in case she’s a puker.
That’s really about it. And I’ve done all that stuff, so now I get to chill out and focus on the other non-essential stuff. Dave painted the baby’s room and set up the crib (even though she’ll be in the Pack ‘n’ Play in our room for at least the first several weeks). I got a new, super-cute diaper bag from my sister. I’m thinking about what type of bottles I want to buy, since our old ones were before that whole BPA thing was a known issue, and I’ve since thrown them all out. I have some cute wall stickers to put up in her room. But it all feels like bonus stuff at this point, nothing urgent or mandatory.
Of course, nevermind the fact that this this poor kid doesn’t even have a name yet, because Dave and I can’t make up our minds, but I’m not really stressed about that. Either we’ll figure it out when she gets here, or I’ll wait until Dave isn’t paying attention and put down the name that I want on her birth certificate. (Ha! Just kidding, Dave!) (Mostly.)
And it’s weird, I have had a sneaking suspicion throughout this entire pregnancy that this baby might come a little bit early. I don’t know why, but way back when I was first given my May 31st due date, I thought, “Nope, it’ll be sooner than that.” Of course, I don’t want her to come dangerously early or anything, but this is just a weird gut feeling I’ve had all along. Catie was born a week early (her due date was February 2nd, she showed up on January 27th), so I have no real basis to think that anything different would happen this time around. But for some reason, I can’t get that thought out of my head.
So, you know, if I’m looking at this kid showing up within the next month, instead of six weeks from now? At least it’s nice to know that I feel somewhat prepared.