starting to look that way

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The latest on the siding is that there is no news. I called and complained yesterday morning, and they told the guy (Chuck) to stop working and leave. He did. Now we’re waiting for one of their head honcho guys to come out and look at the wall that we’re not happy about, so we can decide how to proceed from here. At least this company is listening to me and taking my complaint seriously, so I guess I can live with that.

In other news, something has happened this week and my stomach is suddenly very obvious. I don’t really understand that. I’ve heard women talk about how your belly “pops” at some point, but it’s kind of insane how it happened literally overnight.

Tuesday evening, I went to my prenatal yoga class, and I felt sort of self-conscious because I was the only one there in my first trimester, and the only one who wasn’t showing. (The teacher, btw, applauded my effort to start early. She said she has lots of women who come in during their 32nd week and are all, “Ok, I’m ready to start yoga now!” Better late than never, I guess?)

Wednesday morning, I woke up, and it was suddenly “oh hello there, tummy, where did you come from?” Dave wouldn’t stop poking at it because he seemed convinced that it was all just gas. (Nice.) But it’s not gas, it’s just… there. The weird thing is that my jeans still fit, because all of the tummy expansion seems to be above my belly button. I’ve had to give up belts, of course, and my tighter jeans don’t stand a chance. But my looser jeans still button just fine and don’t really pinch on me at all.

I have two supporting anecdotes to prove that this is not all in my head:
1) I was walking through the lobby at work, and there were two women sitting there. One of them looked at me, then turned back to her friend, and said, “Oh, do you remember so-and-so? Did you know that she’s pregnant now?” Apparently just the sight of me causes others to think of the subject of pregnancy.

2) Yesterday, the checkout girl at the grocery store asked me if I was pregnant. That’s the first time a total stranger has noticed. I wasn’t wearing a maternity shirt, just an extra-large t-shirt and jeans, so it occurred to me that it was a really stupid thing for her to ask. She isn’t one of the checkout people that I see all the time, so it’s not like she knows my “normal” body as a frame of reference. That could’ve potentially been very awkward. Lucky for her, I am indeed pregnant, so I wasn’t offended.

Oh, even weirder? I still haven’t gained any weight. I don’t know how that’s possible, because it certainly isn’t like the rest of me is shrinking at all. I guess things are just shifting around in there.

I’ll be eleven weeks pregnant tomorrow. I suppose I should start posting some belly shots so y’all can see the tummy for yourselves. I’ll try to do that this weekend.

more de-whitetrashifying, or perhaps not so much

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The process of getting new siding on our house has officially begun. And I am not happy, for the following reasons:

1) We were told that a “crew” is generally two or three guys. We have one dude working on our house. One.

2) The guy started over two weeks after the supplies were delivered, because the company allegedly just didn’t have any installers available until this week. In the meantime, the stuff has been sitting in our driveway, just waiting to be hung on our house, but fine, whatever.

3) The one dude crew? His name is Chuck. (Of course it is!) The first day on the job, he called my office number and left me a voicemail, wanting to know if it was ok – since he lives about 100 miles away – if he parked his camper in our driveway and lived in our yard for the next two weeks while he does the installation. And, um? Call me a privacy freak, but hell-to-the-no, that is not ok!

After I got his voicemail, I called the office manager lady who I’ve been talking to a lot lately, and asked her, “Don’t you guys pay to put him up in a motel or something?” I mean, the guy lives in the Olympia area, which is really far away, so I understand him not wanting to make the daily commute. But, camping out in my yard? What the hell? That issue is now resolved – I did some googling and found an RV park about ten miles from our house. So he can park his camper there, and then have access to toilets and showers and all of those other amenities that don’t involve him coming inside my damn house.

4) He starts hammering at about 6:30 in the morning. My alarm doesn’t go off until 7:00. I cannot think of a more unpleasant way to wake up. I need ear plugs, but then I’m afraid that I’d sleep through my alarm.

5) Last night, when I got home from my pre-natal yoga class (go me!), Dave took me outside to show me the first of the new siding that’s been put up. And I love the color, as I knew I would. (I’m the one who picked it, after all. I had to sell Dave on it.) But the seams, where the pieces of siding begin and end? Um. They’re bad. Lots of bubbles and gaps and things that shouldn’t be there. It looks like Dave and I installed it ourselves. And apparently Chuck told Dave that although he’s been installing siding for over 30 years, this is the first time he’s ever installed this particular type of siding. I have a major problem with the idea of being someone’s guinea pig, especially when we’re paying them a huge amount of money for a particular “service.”

This morning, I went outside and asked him about the gaps along the seams. He said that he doesn’t know “what idiot” told me that siding is supposed to look seamless. I told him that the idiot in question is the sales rep from his company who sold the project to us. He gave me this speech about how the siding is going to expand the first time the sun hits it, and then the seams won’t be visible anymore, yadda yadda. I had a total girl moment right then, because I was thinking, “But it’s vinyl, which is a man-made material. It doesn’t expand and contract like, say, wood…” I don’t know why I didn’t say it, I don’t think it was a fear of being too aggressive. I think it was just early in the morning and my brain and mouth weren’t cooperating yet.

Oh, he also does that thing that some people do where they say your name every time they address you? “Well, you see, Cindy…”, “Yeah, Cindy, I know what you mean, but…”, etc. I generally consider that to be a quality that dishonest people use to try to ingratiate themselves to others. I hate it. I get that you remember my name. You can stop saying it now.

Anyway, I’m going to make Dave go talk to him about the issue with the seams, because I think he might respond differently when talking to a man. Who knows. But if he gives Dave a bullshit answer about why the siding looks so bad, I’m calling the company and telling them that they either need to get us another “crew” or they can give up any hope of ever seeing a dime from us.

In other news, I planted flowers last weekend. Look, pretty!


vindication

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Friday evening, a nurse from my doctor’s office called me about my bloodwork. I’m completely annoyed that it took two weeks for them to notify me of the results. I suppose that’s probably normal, but still, it’s irritating. Of course, I’m ten weeks pregnant, so everything irritates me right now. Last night, I woke up because I heard Dave sniffling (he’s having allergy problems) and I was all cranky and said, “Ok, you need to do something about that right now.” What a sweet, empathetic wife I am, no?

Apparently this particular nurse only handles the results of genetic screening, because the reason she called was to tell me that I do indeed carry the gene for cystic fibrosis. I have a cousin who died of CF a couple of years ago, so I wasn’t entirely surprised to find out that I’m a carrier for the disease. All it means is that Dave now has to go have the blood test done too. In order for our child to have CF, not only would we both have to carry the gene, we’d have to carry the same strain as well. (There are something like 300 identified strains of cystic fibrosis.) Dave doesn’t have a family history of CF at all, so the odds of our child having the disease are pretty slim.

So, I’m trying very hard not to waste any time or energy worrying about something that is such a remote possibility, although I must admit that the worst-case scenarios do tend to keep popping up in the back of my mind. (They always do.)

Since I had the nurse on the phone, I asked her about the results of the rest of my bloodwork. I know that every woman who has ever been pregnant (including my own mom) keeps telling me that it’s normal to feel this tired during the first trimester, but I’ve had all of these little internal alarms that were telling me that something is abnormal. I have to take so many supplements because of my gastric bypass surgery, and I know how easily those balances can be thrown off. Also, I’ve had an underactive thyroid all of my life, and I’ve taken medication for it since I was 9 years old. My medication has been pretty stable for the past couple of years, but if anything should throw it off kilter, I think pregnancy would do it.

This is how the conversation with the nurse went, after she gave me the news about having the CF gene:

Me: Ok, and I was sort of wondering about the rest of my bloodwork…

Her: (very chirpy and perky) Everything looks good! You’re HIV-negative, and your gonorrhea and chlamydia tests both came back negative too!
(All of her sentences ended in exclamation points. Too bad there isn’t a font that will let me dot my i’s with hearts, because it would be totally appropriate.)

Me: (what I thought) Duh? Christ, I should hope so.
(what I said) Um, I was thinking more about my vitamin and thyroid levels.

Her: Well, let’s see… Oh actually, it looks like you’re a little anemic! And your thyroid is off too! I’ll have to have the doctor review this on Monday and have her adjust your medication!

Finally!! I’m not crazy, there really is something wrong. It was actually a relief to hear that, because it made me feel vindicated that this hasn’t been all in my head this whole time. My internal alarm system isn’t completely whacked.

And for the record, a normal thyroid level would be .3 or .4. Mine is .06, so it’s way off.

So, I’ve doubled my iron supplement, and I’ve been eating a lot spinach and lean red meat for the extra iron. I won’t know what to do with my thyroid meds until I hear from the doctor, but I’m going to call them this afternoon if I don’t hear from them. I’m really looking forward to starting to feel semi-human again.

je suis tres fatiguee

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I’ve been a bad blogger lately because I am so. damn. tired. All the time. This first trimester is kicking my ass. The nausea isn’t nearly as bad as the exhaustion. I mean, at least I can go a day (even two sometimes, if I’m lucky) without being sick. But the fatigue is constant. I’m really starting to wonder if there’s something else wrong, like maybe I’m not getting enough iron or B-12 or something. I do take supplements for all of that stuff, but this just doesn’t feel right. I wake up tired after sleeping for 9 or 10 hours. That can’t possibly be normal.

My doctor’s office took some blood when I was there a couple of weeks ago, but I have yet to hear anything as far as the results. I’ve contemplated calling them to find out if everything was ok with my bloodwork, but that would require me to get off my butt, look up the number for my doctor’s office, find the phone and call them. I know: I’m a bad pregnant lady, I don’t have my ob’s number memorized. But at least I know that it’s on a business card on our fridge. It’s just the effort of walking downstairs that feels a bit overwhelming.

Seriously? I am typing this entry with my laptop propped up on my knees while I’m lying in bed. Because sitting at my desk is just too draining.

Other than that, there isn’t too much going on. I suppose that’s logical, seeing as how it’s a bit challenging to plan a social life when you can’t keep your eyes open for any length of time.

Although, one of my friends from college is coming to town for some work thing, so Kris and I are meeting up with her for dinner tonight. Kris and I are going in separate cars too, because there’s a remote possibility that they might want to go out to do something after dinner, and there’s no way I’ll be up for that. Hell, the only way I’ll make it through dinner is if I get at least an hour-long nap in beforehand. But I am really looking forward to having dinner with the girls tonight, even if it’s only for a couple of hours before I have to go home and crawl back into my pajamas.

oh yeah, and a new job too

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What with all the baby excitement, I sort of forgot to mention that I’m changing jobs this week. The job that I’ve had since last December was a contract that was scheduled to end on June 30. Which was Friday. Which would mean that I would now be unemployed.

Except! I went and found myself a new job. There was a different team at the Giant Software Company that I worked with a lot, and the manager of that team really liked me, so when he found out that my contract was ending, he found a spot for me on his team. This works out well for a few reasons:

1) It’s the same stuff I’ve already been doing, so there’s no major adjustment period necessary.

2) The new job is part-time, I’m only going to be working Tuesdays through Thursdays. So, about 20-25 hours a week. I really love the idea of working for three days and then having four days off. It makes scheduling doctor’s appointments a lot easier, and it gives me time for the million or so little nesting projects around the house that I want to do before the baby gets here.

3) It’ll last until my eligibility at the Giant Software Company runs out. I will have been there for a year sometime around late November or early December, so that’s when this job will end. I’ll be about 7 months along by then (first trimester qualifying statement: assuming nothing bad happens, of course!). So I’ll be able to spend the last couple of months at home before the baby arrives, which is nice.

4) Did I mention that it’s part-time? Because I really love that. And with the July 4th holiday being tomorrow, I don’t actually start until Wednesday. So I’m only working two days this week. That’s right: out of the first ten days of the month of July, I’m working on two of them. Awesome.

I haven’t quite figured out what’s next for me, career-wise. I know I want to spend the first few months at home with the baby, but I haven’t decided if I’m going to be a permanent stay-at-home mom, or if I’m going back to work – and if I am, full-time versus part-time, etc. Or maybe I’ll try to find something that lets me work from home, I don’t know.

Dave and I have decided to just go with the flow on this one, and see what feels like the right thing to do when the time comes. Pretty much everything in our lives is going to change over the next year, so there’s really no point in trying to write anything in stone just yet.

tummy issues

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Even though I’m 5’5″, I am what one might call a short-waisted girl. I remember, several years ago, when low-rise jeans first became available in stores. I still praise that day because it was the first time in my life that I was able to buy jeans and wear them off the rack.

Before that sacred, blessed day, every time I bought a pair of “regular” jeans, I had to get my mom to alter them, because either: (a) the waist of the jeans came up to about 2 inches below my bra line (sexay!), or (b) if I pushed them down so they were actually on my waist, it created this weird bulge in the crotch that made me look like I had a package. Not a good look, to say the least.

Because of that, I knew before I got pregnant that I would probably start to show a little earlier than some people. When there isn’t much up-and-down room for the baby to grow, it tends to go straight out in front of you. I know that’s something that my cousin is dealing with right now. Also, when I was in college, I worked with a woman who was about 5 feet tall, and by the time she was 4 months along, people were looking at her sideways, going, “Um…. are you sure you aren’t having twins?” (And even though I thought I understood at the time, I really understand now why those sorts of questions infuriated her.)

But still, I had this delusion that I wouldn’t start to show until my third or fourth month. I don’t know where I came up with that. I think I was basing it on the fact that Madonna was something like 3 months pregnant when she was filming “Evita,” and you couldn’t really tell except for that one scene where she danced with Antonio Banderas. Remember? She was wearing that white satin-y dress and if you looked closely, you could see that she had a little bit of a tummy.

Um, yeah. Comparing my pregnancy to Madonna’s. I’m clearly totally sane.

The point of all this is that I feel like I’m already starting to show, and I’m not even 9 weeks along. Is it possible for me to be showing this early? Or have I just taken up temporary residence in Bloatville? Because I don’t feel like I have a “baby bump,” I feel like I’m just carrying an extra spare tire around my middle. But I’ve actually lost two pounds since I found out I was pregnant a month ago. (Hooray for being too nauseated to eat, although I don’t think that’s a diet plan that I want to stick to.)

My mom keeps insisting that she was in maternity clothes by the time she was ten weeks along. She also has a memory like swiss cheese, so I don’t know how much I believe that. I’m not at the point of wearing maternity clothes yet, but I keep eyeing the few maternity tops that I’ve bought, and thinking that they look really comfortable right about now. My choice of summer clothes is pretty slim since I’ll only wear shirts that are loose around my waist. And my jeans (even my baggy ones that I always had to wear a belt with) are so tight that they’re starting to leave little denim imprints on my flesh, which isn’t too comfortable. Getting dressed for work the past few mornings has not been fun for me.

So, any of you who read this who either are pregnant, have been pregnant, or are close to someone who’s been through it – when is it “normal” to start to show? Is this what the early stages are supposed to feel like, or do I just need to pop a Gas-X and chill out?

first photos

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Apologies for the last two posts being flashbacks, I think we can bring things up to present day now.

I had my first doctor’s appointment yesterday, complete with ultrasound. Dave came with me, although I made him scoot the chair around so that he was up by my head. As it is, he’ll witness my body enduring numerous indignities over the next year; I figured that he really didn’t need to see how the business end of a speculum works. At least not this early in the game.

Although it was sort of strange to have Dave in the room during my physical, I just reminded myself that my cat once witnessed one of my pelvic exams, and then it didn’t seem so weird. That’s actually a true story: it was back when Dave and I were first dating and I was flying out (for work) the next day, so I was bringing Teenie to his house while I went out of town. It was one of those situations where I either had to spend an extra 2 hours in traffic or bring the cat with me to the doctor’s office (on my way to Dave’s). And it was like 90 degrees outside, so I couldn’t leave her in the car. So, Teenie sat in her kitty carrier on the floor of the exam room while I had my physical. Luckily, my doctor thought it was hilarious.

Ok, back to current day. Here’s something I didn’t know: eight-week ultrasounds? That is not the kind that they do on your belly. Oh no, it’s an “internal ultrasound” – aka the DildoCam. I kind of had a suspicion about that, but I really wish someone had warned me. It isn’t exactly the most comfortable way to experience the first glimpse of your unborn child, but hey, whatever.



See how cute it is? I don’t think either Dave or I have ever gotten that excited about a fuzzy gray blob.

(Oh, as for my use of the word DildoCam: hi, Google perverts! This is not the site you’re looking for. Move along.)

I also managed to resist the urge to make a joke about whether or not the internal ultrasound had a “vibrate” switch. I think my doctor probably would’ve laughed, but I knew Dave would be mortified, so I behaved myself. (Instead, I just shared my internal-monologue joke with the Internet. Hooray for my lack of a censor button!)

It was sort of weird that I didn’t get emotional or weepy at all during the ultrasound. It was more like a “whew, alright, everything’s ok” relief sort of feeling, not an “oh my gawd, that’s our BAAAYYYBEEE!!!” thing.



But, getting to see the heartbeat was pretty awesome.

So, it looks like everything is ok so far with the baby. As for me, symptom-wise, the fatigue is the worst. The nausea comes and goes, although I still haven’t thrown up yet (I’ve just had a few moments where I really wished that I could have). Other than that, my skin is breaking out and I keep having crazy hormone-induced technicolor nightmares. Oh, and I feel like I’m starting to show, although I’m pretty sure it’s just bloat. Whee! Pregnancy is super-fun!

Whatever. If this is the worst of it, I can take it. As long as this baby comes out healthy, I can deal with a lot worse than this.