Category Archives: Friends & Family

Mother's Day 2012

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This evening, I started thinking about how this Mother’s Day ranks in contrast to prior years.

I think last year might’ve been my worst Mother’s Day ever. I was nine months pregnant and my marriage was falling apart. Pretty hard to get worse than that, right?

By comparison, this year, my entire Mother’s Day weekend was really fun. And although I didn’t take nearly enough pictures of it, I’ve been thinking about all of the little moments from this weekend that I want to remember, and wishing I had snapshots of them.

These are my top ten snapshot moments that I want to remember (in chronological order, not order of importance… that’s just how my brain works).

1. Spontaneously deciding to take the girls to the playground with my dad on Saturday afternoon. The look on Lucy’s face in the swing. The look on Catie’s face the whole time.

2. Catie going for a sleepover at my parents’ house on Saturday night. She spent the afternoon and evening gardening with my mom. (Her report of it, later? “Mommy, we put POOP on the tomato plants!!” Ahh, thank you, fertilizer.)

3. Watching Lucy enjoy being the center of my attention for a few hours, and not having to share any toys whatsoever with her big sister.

That's her, "mama, you so crazy" look,
One of the only pictures I took. That face she’s giving me just cracks me up.

4. My “friend” (because I don’t know what else to call him) who came over on Saturday night and brought me flowers (“Because you’re a mom, and moms are supposed to have flowers on Mother’s Day”). He even knew to bring tulips, because they’re my favorite. He also brought me mango and dark chocolate, and he snuggled up on the couch with me and rubbed my shoulders while we watched a movie.

5. Deciding on Sunday morning to get Lucy and myself dressed, head to Fresh Market, buy some expensive-yet-OMG-delicious pastries, and take them to my parents’ house to surprise them.

6. Taking a nap with Lucy in my parents’ guest room while Catie and my mom planted more flowers in the yard.

7. Listening to Catie’s happy sing-song voice outside as I fell asleep.

8. Going to dinner with my parents, because my mom and I both decided that we weren’t cooking on Mother’s Day. The kids were both so, so good in the restaurant, which is freakishly rare. (Usually you’ll have one good one while the other melts down. It almost never happens that they’re both good at the same time.)

9. After bathtime, dancing around my bedroom to “Rumor Has It” by Adele with my girls. Catie and I both singing along to the song, while Lucy giggled and squealed with delight when I bounced her around to the beat.

(For the record, “Set Fire to the Rain” is Catie’s favorite Adele song. Which is kind of hilarious, to hear a 5 year-old sing a completely tortured love song. But she rocks out to it, and I love it.)

10. At bedtime, Catie hugging and kissing me and telling me that she missed me while she was at Mimi and Pop-Pop’s house, and that she was glad to be back home. And then immediately asking if she could spend the night at their house again soon.

Overall, yeah, this Mother’s Day pretty much kicked last year’s ass.

I hope all of my mama friends out there had equally fantastic Mother’s Days this year. Because God knows y’all all earned it.

Random Sunday stuff

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Lucy made a joke! We were playing upstairs in my room, and I tossed her onto my bed (which she loves).

She crawled up to my pillow, lay her head down, then looked at me, waved and said, “Ni-ni, bye-bye.” Then she cracked up laughing at herself.

I mean, ok, she’s only 11(!) months old, so it’s pretty amateur humor. And I don’t even think it’s the first time she’s done something like that, it was just the first time I noticed it. Like, whoa, she’s this whole little person instead of just a blobby baby.

And I know that it’s kind of a minor development, really. But, y’all! Baby made a joke! I’m so proud.

Lucy playing on my bed before church.

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Speaking of 11 months old: holy Moses, Lucy is going to be one year old next month. I just… I can’t even.

We aren’t really doing a big thing for her birthday. We’ll do a family thing, and I’ll probably bring cupcakes for the staff at daycare. But, you know, she’s one. She isn’t going to remember if there was a party for the occasion or not.

I, on the other hand, feel as though I deserve a party for surviving this first year. Because this has been undoubtedly one of the most difficult years of my life – which of course is not Lucy’s fault, just circumstances, but still.

To that end, the lovely Greis will be coming here that weekend, and I believe the equally lovely Dawn will also be in town then, and I am planning on a girls’ night out of epic proportions. (If you’re local and around the first weekend in June? Let me know!)

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Yesterday I took Catie to get a haircut from my hairstylist. Her first real, grown-up, non-Supercuts haircut. She was so excited.

Catie's getting a grown-up girl haircut. She's psyched.

She was even more excited about the fact that there was a bakery two doors down from the hair salon, so we stopped by there for a cupcake after her haircut.

Enjoying a post-haircut cupcake. That's how we roll.

That’s just how we roll.

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Another random Catie aside – I know that she picks up on everything from me. Really, I do know this. So you’d think I’d be more careful about what I let her overhear, right? Well, I recently found one area where I’ve been failing at that.

Lucy loves to follow me into the kitchen and pull stuff out of the lower cabinets while I’m busy. There’s nothing dangerous that she can access, so I don’t worry about it too much.

Anyway, Catie came into the kitchen and asked why there were sponges (like, unused, still-in-cellophane kitchen sponges) on the floor. I said, “Oh, Lucy must have pulled them out of the cabinet.”

Catie gave this big heavy sigh, and said, “Ahh, dammit.”

Which is basically exactly what I say when I’m annoyed about one of the kids making a big mess. So, pretty much no question as to where she learned that. Big ol’ guilty finger is pointing right at me.

I knew that making a big stink about it would be the exact wrong thing to do, so I just kind of mildly said, “You know, sweetie, that’s a grown-up word that Mommy really shouldn’t say, so I don’t want to hear you say it either, ok?” She said ok, but now I’m waiting for that phone call from daycare.

Oh well, it could’ve been worse, right? At least it wasn’t an F-bomb.

Thursday Brain Dump

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So. The fish died. All three of them. I’m a very efficient fish killer. The key appears to be forgetting to pre-treat the water. You’re welcome. (Also, whoops.)

Catie handled it so-so. There were a lot of tears, but then she got excited when I told her we could go to the pet store to pick out new fish. So, you know. We cope, we move on. Such is life.

Rest in peace, Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi.

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I don’t usually go this long between blog posts, and I think that staying in my own head this much is probably not good for me. The issue is that I’m not sure what to share, how much is too much. I’m having trouble deciding exactly where my boundaries are.

At the same time, writing things out usually makes me feel much better. So I should probably be doing more of that.

Where to start…

My mom is insisting that I need to see a therapist. She’s concerned about the dating thing. She thinks that I was so starved for affection in my marriage, that I’m greedy for it now.

[Side note: I know some people in Dave’s family still read this blog, and that previous sentence might upset them. All I can say to that is that the only two people who knows what goes on in a marriage are the two people in it. We each have our perceptions of what things were like, and that perception colors our reality. I’m not going to say anything negative about Dave himself, because I don’t need to. But I’m allowed to talk about my own personal experience. Also – if you don’t like the fact that I’m not going to be all happy & joyous about my failed marriage, perhaps you shouldn’t be reading my blog anymore. And yes, I see when you visit here on my stat counter.]

So, yeah. Apparently I’m greedy for affection, attention, positive reinforcement, etc., from men. Maybe that’s true. I don’t necessarily see the harm. If I want to flirt and have guys tell me that I’m cute, how is that such a bad thing?

I guess I could see it possibly being negative if the kids were being exposed to any of it. But the only difference is that occasionally they have a baby-sitter in the evenings, which is usually a big fun event for them. They aren’t being introduced to some revolving door of men or anything even remotely like that.

My awesome stylist fixed my stupid self-inflicted bangs haircut.
There’s really no reason for this picture to be here, except that I’m talking about myself, and good lord, I do love my hairstylist.

The therapy issue is kind of a weird topic for me. I was in therapy for a while last year during most of the really horrible stuff (both before and after the separation). And I’ve been in therapy a couple of other times in my life. In theory, I know it’s a positive thing, I know it helps people. But for me, personally? I’ve never gotten anything out of therapy. I think I have a fair amount of self-awareness already, and I typically leave therapy sessions feeling exactly the same as I did when I walked in the door. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, right?

(And don’t tell me to go to a support group for single/divorced parents, because I’ve heard that suggestion too, and OMG I would rather bash my own forehead into a hard, bumpy surface than endure that.)

I suppose you could make the argument that if it doesn’t work for me, I need a different therapist. And that might be an entirely valid point.

There’s a lot more I’d like to say about the issue of dating, but that’s at least 5 more blog posts right there, and this is probably long enough.

The upshot here is that I probably will give therapy one more shot, mainly to make my mom happy, so she can know that at least I tried. Maybe I’ll even learn something this time around. Who knows.

Easter round-up

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Easter this year was really nice. My brother stayed at my parents’ house, and my sister and her boyfriend stayed with us at our house. Holidays are so much more fun when we can all see each other via road trip than having to buy plane tickets. Also? My parents having their own house here means that not everyone has to pile up at my place for every holiday. It’s nice. Breathing room is a good thing.

Anyway, this morning, Catie woke up at Ridiculous O’Clock because she just had to see what the Easter Bunny had brought her. My sister and I went downstairs with her, let her dig around in her loot, and then we all went back to sleep.

Catie refused to smile for the camera.

Lucy on Easter morning

Then, we got up and got dressed and all went to church. There was a nursery there for Lucy, and Catie opted to stay with Lucy at the nursery rather than sit through church with us. Free childcare for an hour? I might become a regular church-goer after all.

When we got home, we did some family pictures in front of the house. Kind of a yearly tradition when I was a kid.

I realized later that this picture right here contains pretty much all of my favorite people in it. That makes me happy.

my favorite people

Easter Sunday

And another one of my favorite pics of the day:

me and my girls on Easter Sunday

Later, after everyone left, my dad and I took the girls to the playground and for a walk through our neighborhood greenway. The weather was gorgeous, and we had a great time.

Now we’re home, and everything is quiet. Lucy is napping, Catie is playing, and you know? Life is pretty damn good right now. No complaints.

Hope y’all had nice Easter Sundays too (or whatever you might choose to celebrate, if anything).

Semi-Wordless Wednesday: "Happy Birthday, Pop-Pop" edition

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Today is my dad’s birthday. This picture of him with Lucy makes me smile every time I see it.

Lucy & Pop-Pop going for a walk

And so does this one of him with not-quite-2 year-old Catie.
Pop-Pop and Catie

And as a throwback – this picture of me with my dad makes me smile too. But in this case, it’s more because of his sideburns and maroon leisure slacks. (Thank you, 1976!)
1976 - me & my dad

Happy birthday, Dad. Your girls love you very much.

good stuffs

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Things that were good this week:

1. Nobody is sick. I’m almost scared to say that out loud for fear of jinxing it and bringing the Germ Fairy back to our house. But for the moment, nobody has The Crud. So that’s awesome.

2. I’ve hit the point in my diet/exercise plan where I can now see the difference myself. I’ve lost around 10 pounds, my clothes fit better, and I caught myself checking out my own butt in the mirror. Like, more than once. Not so much being vain, more “hey, look at that!”

3. Lucy seems to have figured out this whole “standing up” thing.

Ok, who taught the baby to stand up? Because it sure wasn't me!

Now I need to hurry up and figure out the whole “baby proofing” thing, because man, she is into EVERYTHING. And unlike Catie, Lucy wants to put EVERYTHING in her mouth. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had to stick my fingers in her mouth to fish out something she shouldn’t have gotten. Neither of us are happy when this happens, and yet, she keeps doing it. Babies really don’t catch on quickly, do they?

4. I’ve been having late night Skype dates with Matt after the kids are in bed. I think my crush on that guy is bigger than it was back in 1999. He makes me giddy.

5. I’m going out with a girlfriend tonight while my parents watch the kids. I can’t wait. I need to get dressed up and get out of Mommy Mode for a while.

So yeah. Pretty good week here overall.

back and forth

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We’re mostly all better here now, thankfully. I still have a little bit of a cough and Lucy still has a chronic case of Drippy Nose, but I think that’s more just because she’s a baby who goes to daycare. Sort of goes with the territory, right?

I don’t know, what do you think? She looks pretty healthy to me.

This one is apparently oblivious to the fact that her mama has to get up early tomorrow.

This week is chaotic in both good and bad ways. The good is that Catie’s birthday is tomorrow, and my big girl is turning FIVE. YEARS. OLD. A fact which she gleefully tells anyone who’ll listen. So we’re having a party at one of those bounce house places, because I really don’t need her entire daycare class plus all of their parents in my house. She is ecstatic.

[Aside: Can I rant about parents who don’t RSVP to birthday parties? I have 5 confirmed guests and about 11 others that have been given invitations, but I have no idea if they’re coming or not. And the party is Saturday. Rudeness!]

The not-so-good chaos is that Dave is coming for a visit, which means working out details about visitation and dealing with lawyers (because that’s the only way we communicate these days), and all kinds of things that I’d rather not have to worry about.

So, yeah. That stuff. Boo on that.

I also started this new diet thing this week because I decided that my jeans were getting too tight and I’ve had quite enough of that, thankyouverymuch. I don’t really want to talk about it too much because it seems like every time I do, I jinx myself. But that’s another added layer of chaos to my life, just because it’s something new and different, and changes are difficult, yadda yadda.

Lots of ups and downs, clearly. But overall, things are good, I think. Even though I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m about to be the mother of a five year-old child. How the hell did that happen?