have you #whole30’ed?

Diets are a weird subject because they’re so person-specific – I’ve mentioned before, my theory is that in order to be successful on a diet, you need to find one that works for both your body and your brain. What works for one person may not work for another, and what one person finds easy may be completely unmanageable for someone else. We’re all special snowflakes, right?

The Whole 30 plan is one of those that’s been on my radar for a couple of years as various friends of mine have tried it, and I kind of shrugged it off as another low-carb fad diet. Then I learned more about it, as far as it helping with other health issues than just weight loss, and I thought it might worth trying.

Since the half-marathon, I’ve had to ease way back on the amount of exercise I’m doing, because of various injuries (not just the plantar fascitis in my foot, but it seems I’ve also done something to my right ankle, and I pulled a quadricep muscle that just won’t heal). And I was exercising for at least an hour (sometimes longer), 5-6 days a week, which is probably a little on the excessive/unsustainable side.

I’ve also had issues with my sinuses ever since the balloon sinuplasty last summer, and for the last several weeks, I’ve had headaches nearly every day. Not migraines (I’ve had those before and they’re horrible), but at some point every day, I get a dull aching pain my head. It’s not a sinus headache – those usually hit me right behind the eyes, and this is more toward the back of my head. It’s not debilitating, it doesn’t keep me from functioning, it’s just really annoying.

Essentially, between the exercise-related injuries and the sinus/headache issues, I’m taking ibuprofen at least once a day, sometimes two or three times a day, which is probably not ideal for optimal health.

I ordered the Whole30 book, It Starts with Food, and read it on the trip to and from Atlanta over the weekend. (Um, I read it when Chris was driving, in case that wasn’t obvious.) And I’m not sure that I completely believe 100% of their science, but I think it’s worth a shot. I’m curious about how dietary changes can help with other things like allergies and chronic inflammation/pain issues. I mean, it’s entirely possible that it’s a load of crap and it won’t help at all, but it’d be awfully cool if I could fix these issues myself.

The diet itself sounds a lot like the low-carb/detox diets I’ve done before where I cut out all processed foods & just eat meat, vegetables, and fruit. So I’m pretty sure that I can manage that. Whole30 is a little different in allowing some things I didn’t have on other low-carb diets, like regular potatoes. Those types of carbs are pretty essential if you’re exercising a lot, so that should help.

The main difference for me is that Whole30 cuts out all sweeteners, including artificial ones, so no more Sweet ‘n’ Low in my coffee and iced tea. I’ll probably just stop drinking iced tea altogether (because completely unsweetened = BLECCH), and I’ll drink black coffee to wake up in the morning. It also means I have to say goodbye to the little sugar-free mints that I suck on all the time. That’ll be challenging, for sure.

As for the weight loss side… well, I don’t know. I’m smaller than I’ve ever been in my life, and part of me thinks I should just be ok where I am. But I still see cellulite on my thighs and flab on my upper arms, and hey, maybe a healthy eating plan and a more moderate exercise plan (to allow my injuries to heal) would help with that. My plan the last few months has been more on the side of exercising like a maniac while also shoving all kinds of junk food into my mouth as fast as humanly possible, which is probably not the greatest way to keep a healthy balance in check.

I’ve also heard that it becomes so much harder to lose weight when you’re in your 40s, and I’m going to be 40 in less than a year. So maybe that’s part of it, this feeling like I have to hurry up and get in THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE because, I don’t know, my metabolism is just going to shut the hell down on January 16th, 2016?

That’s dumb, I know. I’ve been joking that the half-marathon was my mid-life crisis. I didn’t buy a sports car or have an affair, I just ran 13.1 miles. But in a lot of ways, I think it’s kind of true that all of this diet/exercise obsession probably is a little bit of a mid-life “thing” (not a crisis, because it’s not that dire, just a… weird mental speed bump).

So, I’ve decided to try Whole30, but now the issue is that I don’t know when to start it. Initially I was thinking the day after Easter, because I mean, these Cadbury creme eggs aren’t going to eat themselves, right?

Here’s the issue: mid-April, while Catie is on her track-out break from school, the girls and I are going to fly to Austin for a few days to visit with my sister and brother-in-law. (First time taking two kids on an airplane by myself! I’m both excited and scared.) There’s pretty much no feasible way to stick to this restrictive diet while we’re traveling: we’ll be spending many, many hours in airports, and I’m sure we’ll be eating out some while we’re in Texas. And this is not a “on the go” eating plan at all, you basically have to prepare your meals yourself ahead of time.

The rule with Whole30 is that if you “cheat” at all, you start back over on day 1. Which is fine, I can see how that would give you the incentive to stick to it for the entire 30 days. But do I go ahead & start it, knowing that I’ll only be able to do it for about a week and a half, take a few days off, then start over when we get back home?

If you’ve done Whole30 before, what do you think? I could basically think of the pre-Texas trip as a Whole30 sneak preview, then re-commit to it for the full month after our trip? Or is it better to not even bother until I can do the whole thing with no cheats?

* This is not at all sponsored by anyone, in case that wasn’t completely obvious. Just something I’ve been thinking about trying for a while now and I’m finally doing it.

random thoughts on diets and exercise

A few weeks ago, I’d realized that I’d gained weight. Not a significant amount. Basically, my weight varies a little from day to day, but I have a 5-pound range where I tend to hover. I noticed that the 5-pound range had shifted upward by about 3 or 4 pounds.

This seems insignificant, I know, but I’ve found that it’s a hell of a lot easier to lose 3-5 pounds than it is to lose, say, 20. So, for a couple of weeks, I cut out all processed foods – restricted myself to veggies, fruit, and meat, nothing else. (Not even any dairy, except for a splash of milk in my coffee in the morning. Because even I have limits.) And I lost the weight pretty easily by doing that. I got back to my usual weight range, and I’m pretty pleased with that.

It got me thinking about diets and exercise programs, and which ones have worked for me over the years, and which ones haven’t. And I have come up with a theory about weight loss that might be complete b.s., but it makes sense to me.

I think that in order to successfully lose weight, you have to find the delicate balance between two factors:
1. A diet that works for your body.
2. A diet that works for your brain.

See, I don’t think every diet works for every person. A couple of years ago, I tried Jenny Craig. It did nothing for me except make me hungry and grumpy and feel like crap. I know some people are very successful on those types of programs, and hey, good for them! I think something about the pre-made processed food just turns my metabolism to sludge. That’s just me and my body.

The brain part is trickier, but I think it’s why I’ve had a lot of “false starts” with diets where I planned to start some new strategy, and then completely failed. Like, I had a doctor who told me to try a liquid diet for 2 weeks. I basically white-knuckled it and barely made it to day 5 before I caved. It was a mental hang-up that I had, I couldn’t cope with it.

I know some people can’t do the diet approach works for me. I know that vigilantly checking your weight every day, and dieting the minute that you start to gain does border on being a little obsessive. I get that it wouldn’t work for everybody’s personality type. And not everyone can do the whole “eliminate all processed foods” super-restricted diet that works for me.

I don’t really know what my point is here, just that you shouldn’t be discouraged if you hit a plateau or need to quit your latest weight-loss endeavor before you hit your goal. It just means you need to keep trying different approaches until you find the one that works for your body and your brain.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


While I’m on this whole diet/exercise rant, running has been my “exercise of choice” for a pretty long time now. Over a year, I guess. I started off really slow – I used the Doctor Mama approach of “run so slowly that you would be embarrassed if anyone saw you.” (I tried various interval training programs over the years, couch-to-5K type things, but this “go sloooow” approach is the only thing I’ve found that works for me and doesn’t kill my knees.)

And for a really long time, I only ran on my treadmill in my house, because I was embarrassed about how slow and awful I was at running. All the panting! The needing to stop to blow my nose or get a gulp of water! Mortifying.

And I’ve gotten a lot better. I started running outside when the weather got nice a couple of months ago, and I’m sure I’ll be back on the treadmill when it gets too hot later this summer, but right now I just run in the morning before it gets too unbearable.

I’ve gradually increased both my speed (I’m still slow compared to most runners, I average about a 5 mph pace), and the length of my runs. I’m now running close to 3 miles, 5 days a week. No lie, I’m pretty proud of that.

I like running because I can let my mind wander. It calms my anxiety, and it helps me gather my thoughts and figure myself out. Kind of a zen thing, I guess.

Today, for some reason, I started thinking about pain. On “House of Cards,” at the very beginning of the first episode (the scene with the dog, for those of you who know what I’m talking about), Frank Underwood talks about the two types of pain – how there’s the pain that makes you stronger, and there’s pain that’s useless.

And I thought about how that applies to running. See, I don’t mind it when my legs hurt while I run, because I figure they’re getting stronger. And I’m ok when my heart is pounding and my lungs feel like they’re going to explode out of my chest, because I know I’m building up my endurance.

The one thing I can’t handle? When sweat drips into my eyes. There’s no benefit there. My eyes aren’t going to get stronger because of it. It’s just stupid and it hurts. Useless pain.

So, yeah. Maybe using the treadmill in the air-conditioning isn’t such a bad idea after all.


I have a lot of issues when it comes to food. That sentence probably applies to a significant percentage of women, I realize, and I don’t think my issues are particularly special or unique. Food is comfort, food is a reward, food is stress relief.

From basically Thanksgiving until New Year’s, I ate pretty much everything in sight. I didn’t track my calories, I eased up on my workouts, and I was completely self-indulgent about eating whatever the hell I wanted, whenever I wanted. Cookies at midnight? SURE! Why not? Miraculously, I didn’t gain any weight during the holidays, although don’t ask me how because I honestly don’t know.

I worked really hard in 2013 and lost a lot of weight, and I have a pretty big fear of regaining it and undoing all that work. So my plan had been to allow myself that time of indulgence, with the knowledge that after New Year’s, I was going to start a detox diet and get back on track. It’s not even that I’m trying to lose more weight, because I’m actually pretty happy with where my weight is right now – sure, I wouldn’t complain if a few more pounds magically disappeared, but my size 10 jeans fit comfortably and I’m pretty ok with that. The detox plan was more about hitting a mental reset button, so I don’t continue these bad habits of eating junk food all the time.

I started the detox on Monday. This basically means all I’m eating is meat, vegetables, and fruit. No sweets, no carbs, no processed foods, no dairy. It’s really hard.

And because a few people have asked, this is sort of what a typical day looks like:
* Breakfast – a few slices of turkey bacon and a piece of fruit (today was grapefruit with a little Sweet & Low).
* Lunch – a big salad with some kind of meat (usually grilled chicken on it). I don’t use dressing. Oil & vinegar would be allowed, but I hate that, so I just put a little salt on it and I’m fine.
* Dinner – some kind of meat/veggie. Piece of salmon and roasted asparagus. Steak and steamed broccoli. That kind of thing.

If I want to snack between meals, it’s basically some kind of vegetable (like a handful of raw baby carrots) or an extra piece of fruit.

So, yeah, that’s a little intense, right? And it isn’t sustainable in the long-term, believe me, I know that. The idea is to do this for 3 weeks (although if I last 2 weeks, I’ll be happy), and it sort of changes how I think about my daily meals and makes me more mindful about the foods that I’m shoving in my mouth. Like, no more polishing off the kids’ leftovers. And no more grabbing some quick sugary treat because I just happened to walk past the kitchen.

So yeah, I started it on Monday, and by Tuesday afternoon, it dawned on me that all of that eating I did over the holidays was not, in fact, just a fun little self-indulgence, but was actually how I was coping with some pretty major stress issues in my life. Most of which falls under the category of “stuff I can’t blog about,” but mostly involves my kids and all of the changes we’ve been dealing with lately. I’m not the most adaptable person in the world, I lack the “go with the flow” gene, and those kinds of major life events tend to really stress me out.

The thing is, though, take away my comfort food? And there is no comfort. Which is how I ended up sobbing my eyes out all over Chris’s chest on Tuesday night. (To be clear, he didn’t do anything to make me cry. He just happened to walk in the door and ask me how my day was. Poor guy had no idea what a loaded question that was.)

(Oh, it probably goes without saying, but there’s no alcohol allowed on the detox diet either, which is fine because I hardly ever drink anyway, but man, if there haven’t been a few times this week that drinking my feelings sounded like an excellent plan, since I couldn’t eat them. Damn.)

And I’m sure this is healthy, forcing me to talk about my worries and fears and confront them, rather than bury them down with another handful of potato chips. It’s just weird that dealing with the emotional side of it parallels the food that I’m eating: it’s good for me, and I know it, I just don’t like it very much.

Tuesday nights at the Irish pub

(This post is in no way sponsored by anyone, but I threw in the link to the restaurant for any of you local folks who might be interested.)

On the rare evenings that we’re both kid-free, Chris and I usually like to go out for dinner, and we have a few regular places we like to go. One of them is an Irish pub near my house. I happened to notice that they had a special on Tuesdays: $5 for a burger and side, and kids’ meals for 99 cents. I pointed out to Chris this meant that all four of us could eat for about $12, and we were sold.

We went last week, and the kids really liked it. It’s not Chick-Fil-A or McDonald’s, there are no indoor playgrounds, but the food is good, and the kids sat quietly at the table and were very well-behaved the whole time. Plus, the restaurant happens to be next door to a Goodberry’s, so I told them that if they were really good during dinner, we’d walk over there after dinner and get ice cream. What can I say, bribery works really well on both of my kids.

Stopping for Goodberry's frozen custard on a Tuesday night because why not?

I had told my parents about it, and my dad – the eternal cheapskate – wanted to try out the $5 burger himself. So, last night, since it was a Tuesday, we all went out to eat: me, Chris, the kids, and my parents.

My dad says that it’s impossible to take my kids out to eat because they’re too hyper and won’t sit still, and I wanted to show him that their restaurant behavior is actually very good. To ensure this, I brought along their iPads (yes, they each have their own iPad now, Lucy got a used one on eBay that my parents bought for her and don’t even get me started, I know my kids have no concept of how spoiled they are). And they did really well. They played on their iPads until the food arrived, then they ate their dinner, and then they played on their iPads some more when they were done, so the grown-ups could finish eating and pay the bill. They were both sweet and lovely and we had absolutely zero fights or meltdowns.

I also really like when my parents are around and can see for themselves how crazy the kids are about Chris. Catie gave him a hug the minute he walked in, and Lucy ran to him with her arms up for him to carry her. Lucy sat in between Chris and my dad at the restaurant and spent her time alternately snuggling up on each of them. (Safe to say that Lucy is a very big fan of the dudes in her life.)

We got Goodberry’s after dinner again, because apparently I’ve established that precedent now. When it was time to leave, the kids wanted to ride in my mom’s car instead of mine. I’m not sure what it is, they both love riding with my mom. I call it Mimi’s Magic Minivan. Since my parents live less than 2 miles away from me, my mom said she’d just drive them over to my house & drop them off, so we wouldn’t have any tantrums in the parking lot about getting in my car instead of hers.

And this is where, I found out later, Chris and I got “outed.” While they were driving back to my house, Catie just casually blurted out, “Yeah, Chris spends the night a lot.”

I had told Catie to not mention sleepovers to my dad a few months ago, but as it was pointed out in the comments on that post: it’s a bad idea to tell little kids to keep secrets from grown-ups. I hadn’t said anything about it since then, so it was something that I knew would get out eventually, and it wasn’t entirely surprising that it did.

My dad’s reaction to Catie’s statement was just a simple, “Oh, really?

My mom called me later to tell me what had happened, in case he brings it up with me later. But since my dad would pretty much sooner die than ask me about my sex life, I’m guessing he probably won’t say anything.

Apparently, though, my dad said to my mom afterward, that dinner had been like what he imagined life would be like when they first started talking about moving to North Carolina, but he thought it’d be Dave at the table.

And I guess at some point, I thought that too. But I’m so, so glad it’s Chris. I can’t really imagine my life any other way.

first grade food issues

I may have mentioned this before, but my two kids are proof that a child’s eating habits have nothing whatsoever to do with parenting skills. Because I did everything the same with both of my kids, but where Lucy will eat pretty much everything I put in front of her, Catie barely eats anything at all.

She’s always been a picky eater. I remember taking pictures to document the moment, the first time she not only touched, but also fed herself, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She was two & a half at the time.

Catie loves her PB&J sandwiches
Let’s call this Exhibit A. Also note: the last time she ate at PB&J was well over two years ago. She insists they make her sick now. I don’t know why.

Another example: at 6 1/2 years old, Catie has never in her life tried a milkshake. Ever. Refuses to even try a sip. She says it “sounds gross.” And it’s not like I want her to drink milkshakes all day, but COME ON! Who doesn’t like milkshakes?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, CHILD?!

So, you kind of get what I’m up against here, right?

I bought her a brownie even though I can't eat chocolate, sugar, or carbs. I want a prize for not going feral & shoving half of that thing in my face right now.
I like brownies too, but seriously, kid. Throw your mama a bone here.

I shrug off a lot of her food issues. There are so many other parenting battles — and maybe part of it is because I know so many other parents who wring their hands and freak out over every bite their child does/doesn’t consume — I figured that it’s best to try to leave it alone for the most part. My rule has been that as long as Catie continues to grow and thrive, she’s fine.

I mean, sure, I do the “you have to eat two bites of your vegetables” thing at dinner, but I generally try to make sure it isn’t a vegetable she hates, and it isn’t too big a problem. She doesn’t want to eat whatever entree I made for dinner, she wants chicken soup instead? Fine, whatever. Path of least resistance.

The main source of frustration with this has been trying to figure out Catie’s school lunches. She won’t eat the cafeteria lunch (and really, I’ve seen the food they serve there, and I honestly can’t blame her because that stuff looks nasty). And even though she wants me to pack her lunch, she has very specific rules about things she will and won’t eat.

For example, she won’t eat sandwiches. (Side note: she ate a ham sandwich a few weeks ago when my sister & her fiance were here, and even though she really liked it, she still says, “That was just once, I don’t want that in my lunch.”)

And she won’t eat anything that should be served warm, because it will be cold by the time lunch happens and there’s no way for her to warm it up. (So, no hot dogs, chicken nuggets, etc.)

And she won’t eat anything that she deems “messy.”

The list goes on and on.

Before she started first grade, we talked about the types of things I could put in her lunch box. There was a lot of back-and-forth haggling. Here’s what we came up with:

* At least 2 types of fruit (normally a tupperware of blueberries and a bag of pre-sliced apples).
* That applesauce in a pouch that you can squeeze to eat. (I think it’s kind of gross, but she loves it and it’s reasonably healthy, so whatever.)
* At least two different types of crackers. (Yesterday’s lunch was Cheez-Its – “only the white kind, Mom, not the orange ones” – and a ziploc of some Green Giant veggie chips. Oh, and some graham crackers too.)
* A fruit snack – I know, they’re garbage, but I also figured that if it put a few extra calories in her stomach, that couldn’t be too bad.
* A pouch of Keebler mini fudge stripe cookies (that’s supposed to be her dessert/treat).

So, it’s not the healthiest food in the world, but I figured that as long as she was eating breakfast and then eating vegetables and protein at dinner, it was good enough to get her through the day.

Yesterday, when I picked the girls up at daycare, Catie told me that she had been “on yellow” that day. For those of you not familiar with this system — if a child behaves well all day, they’re on green; if they get in trouble a little bit, they’re on yellow; and if they’re just all-out monstrous all day, they’re on red. Sort of a color/behavior chart.

I asked her why she was on yellow, and she said it was for “not listening.” This is the third time this has happened since she started first grade three weeks ago. (She was only on yellow twice during her entire kindergarten year, so clearly first grade is not off to a bang-up start.) The first two times, it was right after Dave went back to Seattle, and I figured that maybe she was acting out or reacting to her dad being gone, so I didn’t push the issue too much. I emailed her teacher to check in and let her know what’s up, but it seemed like sort of a non-issue.

This time, though, something about it worried me. It wasn’t until later, when I went to clean out her lunchbox and pack the next day’s food, that I figured out the problem.

Almost her entire lunch was untouched. She had eaten two things all day: the tupperware of blueberries, and the bag of mini fudge stripe cookies.

Well damn, NO WONDER she got in trouble for not listening, she was running on nothing but sugar and fumes.

I asked her why she didn’t eat the rest of her lunch, and she just said that she “didn’t want it.”

We talked about other foods I could put in there, but the only things she suggested were things like “donuts?” or “different cookies?” Ok, no, I think you’re missing the point here.

I tried to explain to her how our bodies need things to help them work, and that if she doesn’t eat some healthier foods, she won’t be able to grow strong muscles or run fast or do any of the stuff that she loves to do, because the junk food will make her feel too bad. She’s learned about this in both pre-K and kindergarten, so the concept isn’t unfamiliar to her, it’s just trying to make her understand how she has to change her behavior that’s difficult. She was like, “But the blueberries are healthy!” And, well, yes, they are, but you need more than just blueberries alone.

There was a lot of back and forth — and I admit, way more than my share of yelling, which I’m not proud of myself for doing. And finally I snapped.

I said, “Ok, that’s it. Tomorrow? I am putting 1/2 of a sandwich in your lunchbox. Only 1/2. And you have to eat at least 3 bites of it. And when you get home, the first thing I’m doing is checking your lunchbox. If you haven’t eaten at least 3 bites, you don’t get either the iPad or the DS all night.”

Threatening her screen time = hitting her where she lives.

Also, new rule: no more cookies in her lunchbox until she can earn them back with some other, healthier food choices.

She had cried when I was yelling at her about this, and I felt bad about it, so when I went to check on the girls after they were in bed, I kissed her on the forehead and said, “I love you, Catie-bug.”

She rolled onto her side, waved her arm to shoo me away, and said, “Ok.”

Honestly? I have no idea if this will work or not. But I don’t know what else to do.

somebody else MUST remember this too?

When I was really little – and I’m thinking that this was when my granddad was still alive, so I’m talking like 5 years old and younger – I remember that there was a very special treat that we only got at my grandparents’ house: Donald Duck Juice.

I’ve thought about this for years. I remember that Donald Duck Juice came in tiny glass bottles, but I couldn’t even remember what it was – orange juice? Grape soda? Did we have it with breakfast or lunch? Why was it only at my grandparents’ house? (Most likely answer: because my mom would’ve deemed it too expensive and a silly sales gimmick, meanwhile my grandmother loved nothing more than indulging her only three grandkids.)

But was there even such a thing as Donald Duck Juice? Did I imagine this? How come I’ve never seen it or heard of it since then? Was it just a silly name that my grandmother made up for our benefit?

Then yesterday, I was at the grocery store, looking for citrus juice because it’s another crazy pregnancy craving I’m having (pineapple, grapefruit, orange juice… I want them ALL). Lo and behold, I did a double take, and I almost burst into tears right there in the juice aisle.

Donald Duck Juice

Donald Duck Juice. It actually exists. Sure it’s in cans instead of bottles now, but that is the stuff.

I didn’t care that it was $3 for a 6-pack of tiny cans, I bought them anyway because dude, that is a piece of my childhood right there.

(Oh, and the missing 4 cans in that photo? Are currently IN MAH BELLEH. They were delicious.)

When I went to check out, the cashier was an older guy in his 40s, and he said, “Wow, they still make this stuff? I haven’t seen it since I was a kid!” I was all, “I KNOW!! Can you believe it???” I think I might have freaked him out with my Juice Enthusiasm.

I called everyone in my family afterward – my parents both remembered it, but my sister didn’t remember it at all and my brother only barely did. So weird, the way our memories work and the things that stick with us throughout the years.

Does anybody else remember Donald Duck Juice? Was it just a Southern thing? Or do y’all all think I’m completely insane now? (Entirely possible, I suppose.)

just as she is

So, to follow up on that last post, I started the South Beach diet on Monday. (With a few tips from the “Fat Flush Diet” thrown in, because I actually liked a couple of her techniques when I tried them last year.) Just your basic low-carb, low-calorie diet, and I’m trying to use The Daily Plate to help me track my calorie intake. Which is difficult, because it’s tedious and I tend to be lazy about documenting things like the handful of granola I grabbed as I walked past the pantry. (How do you even document that? How big a serving is a handful?) But I think it’s a good exercise because it’s making me a lot more thoughtful every time I shove something in my mouth (heh… that’s what she said).

And so far, it’s honestly been fine. I haven’t felt deprived at all. I’m staying well within my recommended daily calorie allowance, and I’m not starving. So it’s good. I figure that if I can stick with that ideal “lose 1 or 2 pounds a week” target, I should be down to my goal weight in about 4 to 6 months. It sounds daunting, but not nearly as daunting as it did when I was 265 pounds. Four to six months is nothing compared to that. It’s a drop in the proverbial bucket.

I’d really like to start working out too, but I can’t right now with my sinuses still all gunked up with this cold. Hopefully by the time my Vibram Five Fingers arrive in the mail, I’ll be over the majority of this cold and will be able to get started on my couch-to-5K again.

One thing that’s been on my mind a lot lately is how much of my mom’s body image issues I adopted as my own as I grew up. When I was little, I remember my mom always complaining about how fat she was, and she was maybe a size 8 or 10 at the time (so NOT fat in the slightest). I worry about passing those sorts of hang-ups on to my own daughter.

Catie in my winter hat

My plan is that if/when she asks me about my new eating habits (and I’m sure that she will, because the kid notices absolutely everything), to emphasize to her that this diet is so Mommy will be strong and healthy, and I will absolutely not say anything negative about my body in front of her (even though I might be thinking it). I just don’t want to put those types of ideas in her head. I don’t want her to internalize any of my own negativity or hang-ups.

pretty Catie with her flower

I never want her to think that she isn’t beautiful, just as she is.