visitation, again

It feels like there’s been a lot going on lately that I haven’t blogged about. Not even intentionally, I just haven’t gotten around to it.

Like, for example, Dave’s been here for the past 10 days. He’s making a real effort to be around more for the girls, and I appreciate it. These past couple of visits have been completely calm and drama-free, which is a huge relief.

This trip was also the first time that he kept both kids overnight (usually he only keeps Catie because I’ve been so worried about Lucy and her high-maintenance ways). One of the nights that he kept both kids, I slept for 11 hours. It was freaking magical, let me tell you.

Of course, he left this morning and I’m worried about the fallout, especially for Catie. Yesterday when I went to pick her up from daycare, she saw me and immediately burst into tears. I told her that Daddy was going to come over that night (last night) to say goodbye before he left, and she cried harder and said that she wouldn’t tell him goodbye so he couldn’t leave. She said that she wanted to move to Seattle with him.

This was also the first time that Lucy really seemed to notice Dave’s presence (or lack thereof). A couple of times, Dave took only Catie with him and left Lucy with me, and Lucy would grab her jacket and run to the door. She’d stand there and cry when they left without her, while I tried to console her.

Basically? These kids are breaking my heart. This isn’t something I can fix for them, even though I wish like hell that I could.

He’ll be back at Christmas, which isn’t that far from now, but how do you explain that to a little kid who can’t really grasp things like days versus weeks?

My sister is coming to town this weekend, so that should be a good distraction.

I want them to have a relationship with their dad. And I think my job is basically to facilitate that and make these transitions as smooth as possible.

Sunday sister snuggles.

I just really want those happy faces back. Hopefully it won’t take too long until we’re back in our normal groove. And hopefully, as time goes on, each subsequent visit will require less and less readjustment time afterward. I can dream, right?

3 thoughts on “visitation, again

  1. It will get easier! I think you are doing a great job and have a great attitude and are very funny (I mean maybe not so much in this post, but in general!). As a divorce kid, my only advice is avoiding shit talking on each other – it was the very worst thing that my parents did (lovely people, but bitter, bitter, bitter). I think it will be a lot easier when they can understand more. They are just so little. Two of my friends are dating online right now (what a hilarious diversion sifting through dating profiles can be!) and that post cracked me up – they were good tips! Sorry about all those parentheses, it’s an addiction!
    Em´s last blog post ..The spice?My Profile

  2. I think a lot will depend on if he keeps up his end or not. I hope he can, for everybody’s sake.

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