on having a second

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I haven’t talked about it much, but I had my IUD taken out last August, which means that Dave and I have theoretically been trying for baby #2 for the last 10 months. And I say theoretically because, well, at first my heart wasn’t really in it. I was so indifferent about having a second kid for so long, and there were months when we didn’t try at the right time because I just didn’t really want to get pregnant at that particular moment. Maybe we were particularly stressed about money that month, maybe I was going through a rough phase with Catie and doubting my ability to survive another child, whatever.

My attitude for the longest time has been, “We’ll have another kid if we’re supposed to have another kid. And if we don’t, then I guess we’re lucky that the one we have is pretty freaking awesome.”

Then something changed. I don’t know exactly what. It could be that I’m barreling down on 35 (“advanced maternal age,” oh no!), or because I realized that Catie will be at least 4 years old by the time we have another baby, or because I suddenly know so. many. people. who are having babies. (Seriously, those are just 3 examples. There’s also at least 2 girls I know from high school who are pregnant right now, and a few other people I know who have had babies in the past 6 months.)

Suddenly, I was hearing about all of these friends of mine being pregnant, and I felt… jealous?

So, for the past couple of months, I’ve been focusing more attention on trying to get pregnant. I’m even considering charting my cycle, since that worked last time. (Funny: I just went looking through my blog archives to see if I could find a post where I talked about charting my cycle, and all I could find was whiny “this isn’t working & I don’t think I’m even ovulating and I’ll never get pregnant, boo hoo!” stuff. Spoiler: I got pregnant the next month.)

And that sort of relates to my recent exercise obsession. See, for those of you who don’t already know this, the last time I was pregnant? Was bad. I got really, really sick during my 3rd trimester, and no one could figure out what was wrong with me. But I lost all of my pregnancy weight while I was still pregnant – which, for the record, is not the ideal weight-loss solution. I mostly lost muscle, not fat. By the time Catie was born, I was so weak that I could barely hold her. It took a long, long time for me to feel “normal” again, energy-wise.

So, this crazy need to work out every day and build my endurance as quickly as possible? A large part of it is because I want to make sure that if/when I get pregnant, I’m starting at a healthier baseline than last time. So if I get sick again, it hopefully won’t have quite such detrimental effects on my health.

We’ll see how it goes. And in the meantime, if any of y’all want to throw out a little “get Cindy knocked up” prayer or thought, I sure wouldn’t mind.

26 thoughts on “on having a second”

  1. You know with both Chase and this new baby currently cooking I got pregnant almost the second I started whining “omg I’ll NEVER get pregnant” (did I mention that I tend towards the dramatic side). Here’s to hoping the same happens for you my love.

    ps: that totally seemed like I just accused you of whining which was NOT my intent at all. Just so you know. I just mean I hope it happens for you. Gah.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Chase – One Year =-.

    • @Jen, Ha! I didn’t think you were accusing me of whining. No worries. I *totally* whined about not getting pregnant last time. Like, it took up an insane amount of my brain space & I think it was probably the main thing I talked about, all the time. I’m trying really hard to not be so obnoxious this time. 🙂

  2. Good luck sweetie. We tried for #2 for 9 mos and that was with charting and everything. FINALLY I got those ovulation predictor kits and that was key. I was pregnant after 2 mos of those.
    .-= Becky´s last blog ..The Sun and the Sand =-.

    • @Becky, I tried those ovulation predictor kits back when we were trying for Catie, and they never once told me I was ovulating. That was when I tried charting, and it worked the 2nd month.

  3. I charted too, to know when we should be “careful.” um, I guess I didn’t due to good of a job with the charting. Hee! Sending you lots of fertile vibes. I’d love the company!
    .-= Lex (@laprimera)´s last blog ..first comes love =-.

    • @Lex (@laprimera), I love the “due/do” typo. Awesome.

      All fertile vibes greatly appreciated. And lord knows you got plenty to spare, mama. Hee.

  7. I’ll send good pregnancy ju-ju your way! Also, one thing I learned from my RN mom and from working at a speciality pharmacy that handled infertility, DON”T THINK ABOUT IT! Seriously. The second you relax you’ll get pregnant. Happened to my aunt. She was taking infertility drugs for over a year, mom told her “you seriously need to relax. go home, take a hot bath, romance Rob and enjoy it.” She did and now Annisce is going to be 18.

    Also totally awesome that you’re working at getting healthier to have a healthier body for baby 2. You rock my friend!

    • @Jess, Oh honey, be careful. That “just relax” comment is a way to pretty much guarantee that a fertility-challenged woman will punch you in the face. Or at least they’ll *want* to punch you. It’s an old wives’ tale, and I suppose it might work for some women, but it most definitely is not the case for others. Like with Catie, I was obsessively charting my cycles when I got pregnant. BELIEVE ME, relaxing had zero to do with it.

      • @Cindy W,

        Sometimes it works. I know I thought that I’d be married with kids by now, but I’m 28 and no closer. I guess I have that deep seeded fear when (if) I do get married I’ll have a hard time getting pregnant or not be able to. I’m totally open to adoption but I’d like to experience the total package you know?

        Did you research foods and stuff? Slip Dave some oysters and get his mojo flowing! I used to work for a urologist and there were tons of guys (and women!) coming in to get the starts of things.

        I’m reading a book called The Birth House about back in the 1800s and mid-wifes, that thing so it was kind of weird timing you mentioned having a second. The character in the book is trying to get pregnant and is doing all the old wives tales, tying red string around her waist, sleeping with a pillow under her, not getting out of bed until late in the morning after a night of romance, standing on her head after romancing. (okay that last one I made up.)

        Good luck!

        • @Jess, If it’s any consolation, I met Dave when I was 28. So it’s not like it’s hopeless that you’ll ever have babies. 🙂

          The book I’ve been using is called “Taking Charge of Your Fertility,” which does talk about things you can do to increase your chances of conception. It’s pretty fascinating stuff, actually.

          But, um, I’d have to tie Dave down & force-feed him to get him to try an oyster. Dude doesn’t do shellfish AT ALL. (Even shrimp! Who doesn’t love shrimp?) So we’ll have to stick to other methods.

      • @AmazingGreis, Ok, I am so going to look up the cycle-charting app. That’s hilarious.

        I was kind of being sarcastic about the “advanced maternal age” thing. I don’t think it’s actually that big a deal. Family history: my grandmother had her last child (her 7th) when she was 44. And my great-grandmother had her last baby when she was 47. Which, for the record, was her SIXTEENTH child. 16 kids. I swear I’m not even kidding. Our family reunions are outta control HUGE.

  11. Thinking of you and sending you Venus of Willendorf-esque fertility juju. 🙂 I appreciate your comment about advanced maternal age–I’m starting to freak because I turn 33 this year and we haven’t even tried for 1 yet. Given that I’m in the eternal student, I think I’m going to be 39 with our first (if we’re lucky). Gah, indeed.

  12. I’m in the same boat only I just had my IUD taken out a month ago, thus we’ve only been trying for one month. I didn’t read through the other comments, but I’ve been charting my cycle with two iPhone Apps – one is Period Tracker Deluxe for $1.99 and the other is iPeriod Ultimate – both are $1.99 and well worth it. They are spot on with my cycles and it tells me my CD days, fertility days, ovulation day, period days, etc.

    Sending lots of baby dust your way darling! See you in August!

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