does anyone else find these as funny as I do?

Since I have absolutely nothing interesting or funny to write about, it’s time for another installment of “what strange keyword searches are bringing people to my website?” I’m omitting all of the porn-related searches, because there are just too many of them to mention, and most of them are seriously, disturbingly gross.

Windshield wiper fluid gets in the nose?
Dude. Ouch.

Michael’s Bar & Grill, Rawlins, Wyoming
Hey, we were there! Best mozzarella sticks I have ever had in my life. And the guy who owned the place bought Kris a beer, so we liked him. Sucky town, good bar.

I hate Missouri
Boy, do I. No offense to anyone who lives there, but good LORD, it takes forever to drive across that state.

(My dad’s full name)
This struck me as odd because I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned my dad’s name here, so I don’t know how I got 3 hits from that. Huh.

short and bald do I even stand a chance in dating
Aww. Of course you do, little fella. There’s someone out there for everyone. You just don’t have a chance with me. (Not because I have an issue with short, bald men – I honestly don’t – but because I’m taken, bitches.)

Penis was 5 feet long.
I know I said I wouldn’t mention any porn searches, but HA! HAAAA!! Oh, how that made me laugh. (I’m pretty sure they got linked to this post, which still horrifies me.)

now what
This is my favorite search phrase yet. No kidding.

4 thoughts on “does anyone else find these as funny as I do?

  1. I have the weirdest, grossest one of all time. Are you ready? Brace yourself:

    papery stuff inside poop

    I have no idea why my site and this gruesome phrase are linked together.

  2. Ok, that’s horrifying, but I have some pretty gross poop-related searches too. To wit:

    tapeworm in poo

    what does raccoon poop look like

    and my personal favorite…

    goat poo photos


  3. Aw, I wish we could tell

    short and bald do I even stand a chance in dating

    that if I were single, I would be all over that. CUTE.

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