Trust me, this story is not nearly as tragic as that title makes it sound.

Ok, so the week started like this.
* Tuesday – I had an in-person job interview for a job that I really felt totally indifferent about. It’s a short-term contract job that’s way the hell across town, the hours suck, and I didn’t really care for the place. (Call it a personal bias, I’m not a fan of working in places where I have to go through a metal detector to enter and leave the building, as well as let a security guard rummage around in my purse. Not a fan at all.) On the positive side, though? The pay for that job was sweet. Like, a week’s salary would’ve covered a month of daycare, with some left over. But you know, a short-term contract job means no benefits, which is why they usually up the pay rate.

One of the annoying things about that job was that they didn’t know how short-term the job was going to be. They said the contract was “one to four months.” During the interview, I asked for a more specific timeframe, and I didn’t get an answer. Just that they had this project that had to be done, and they estimated it would take somewhere in that range. Kind of hard to make plans around non-specifics like that.

* Wednesday – I had a phone interview for a job that I WANT I WANT OMG I WAAAANT SO BAD. I don’t want to talk too much about that one for fear of jinxing it, but as far as the combination of salary range, hours, commute, and work/family balance? It’s pretty much the most perfect scenario I could ask for. And the phone interview went really well. So well, in fact, that they’ve already contacted me about doing a follow-up interview with a different manager; however, the manager won’t be able to interview me for two weeks due to scheduling issues. Which, hey, that’s FINE. I just really, really want this job.

* Yesterday (Thursday) – I got a call from the recruiter from Tuesday. And they offered me the job. The job I don’t care about. I asked if I could have some time to think about it, and I called Dave in a panic.

Here’s the deal: I don’t want the crappy short-term contract job. I’m holding out hope that the job I DO want (which, btw, is a permanent gig, not a contract) will come through. But I also know that it’s going to be at least two weeks before I do a follow-up interview, and the crappy job wants me to start on Monday, and wouldn’t it be nice if I could be making some money in the meantime?

So I told the recruiter that I could commit to the project for one month (the minimum time on the contract), but since I’m currently interviewing for a permanent position, I can’t commit to the full four months right now. I thought that was reasonable, and you know, HONEST.

Over the next couple of hours, my anxiety at the thought of accepting a job I didn’t want kicked into overdrive. I freaked out. I don’t like starting something when I know I’m only going to be putting in a half-assed effort at best, and let’s face it, my heart was not in this at all. Quite honestly, my only motivation in accepting the job was the money.

But the main thing I worried about was Catie. The hours for this job meant that I’d have to leave for work before she wakes up in the morning. I’d get to see her for a couple of hours in the evening, and on the weekends, but that’s it. And you know, lately, mornings are my favorite with her. That’s when I get all the best snuggles and kisses. The idea of missing that, even though it was only going to be for a month, made me want to cry.

A little while later, the recruiter called me back. He said that he spoke with the managers, and while they certainly understand my wanting to pursue a permanent opportunity, they want someone who can commit to the full four months. Even though they have no idea if the project is going to take that long. So they’re going to keep looking for candidates. Basically it was a “thanks, but no thanks.”

Honestly, all I felt was immense relief. I think that was a sign that this was definitely not the right job for me.

Now, in light of this crazy week we’ve had, we’re off to the mountains to celebrate Dave’s birthday weekend. (He turns 39 on Sunday. Old man.) I’m planning on leaving my laptop at home and enjoying the time with my family. I mean, I’ll still have my iPhone, though. It’s not like I’m a total cavewoman.

Hope you all have fun-filled weekends as well.