Category Archives: Work

conflict of interest, anyone?

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Around this time tomorrow, I will be in Seattle. This makes me very happy. Originally my flight got bumped from Friday afternoon to Thursday night, but I wasn’t going to get home until almost midnight. Then it got bumped AGAIN, so now I’m leaving around lunchtime, and I’ll be home by 3:30 p.m. Hee!

This morning was strange. The project manager, who is kind of my boss for the next couple of months, asked if he could speak to me privately. This is one of my worst fears. My stomach clenched up and I was positive that I was about to be reprimanded or fired or something of that nature. Because after all, since I’ve been here, I haven’t done any work. Honestly, all I’ve done so far is create a SharePoint site (for all you non-techies: that’s an internal website where we geeks post all of our documentation in one central location so we can keep up with what each other is doing), and I’ve edited a bunch of documents. Apparently word has gotten out that I have a degree in journalism, so everyone is sending me their stuff to proofread. But that’s kind of fun for me, it’s not like real work.

So I go to the little cafeteria area with him, stomach totally knotted up in anxiety/terror, and he tells me that he just wants to let me know that he thinks I’m doing a fantastic job, and he’s going to make sure that both my career lead (the aforementioned Maurice/Mo), and the practice director who’s over all of the systems engineers in the region (!!) know that there is no way that I should be a level 1 systems engineer, I should be at least a level 2. Again, this is startling since I HAVEN’T DONE ANY WORK!!!

Then, he emails me a copy of his resume and wants to know if I’ll revise/format it for him. Supposedly this is a resume that he’ll submit to customers for potential future assignments. One problem with this logic is that our company has its own resume format that they want us to use, and we post them on the company intranet, and this resume definitely doesn’t follow that format. So I’m sort of wondering if all this praise is just his way of kissing my ass so I’ll help him land a new job. I suppose it doesn’t matter – if my higher-ups hear good things about me, or if (fingers crossed) I end up getting a promotion or a raise out of the deal, I’m certainly not going to complain. It’s just strange.

Meanwhile, I’m counting the hours until I board that plane tomorrow…

greetings from foggy southern California

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So, how much work have I done since my arrival in Santa Ana a little over 24 hours ago?

Zero.

As in, nada, nothing, zilch. I cannot believe that my company paid to fly me over 900 miles so I could sit on my ass in a conference room with a bunch of other guys who are also doing nothing. I understand that a lot of consulting is “hurry up and wait,” but this is insane. There was absolutely no reason that I needed to be here this week, except that it makes the project leader feel reassured to know that we’re all here & ready to work. Even though there’s nothing to do yet. Bah, this sucks.

On the upside, the hotel is really nice. Free breakfast, and free happy hour in the evenings. Good way to save up that per diem that I’m getting for meals every day – screw dinner, I can just have a couple of drinks on an empty stomach and fall asleep. Call it the liquid diet plan. I’ll have enough extra cash saved up for my tattoo in no time.

There’s a Pearl Jam song that I can’t seem to stop listening to lately. It’s an old one, I think it’s called “Indifference,” it was either on Vs. or Vitalogy. I put the CD in yesterday when I was driving to the airport, and again when I got in the rental car at LAX. (I felt very rebellious, listening to my Seattle music in L.A.) There’s this one line at the beginning of the song that really gets me:

“I will stand, arms outstretched,
pretend I’m free to roam.
I will make my way
through one more day in hell.”

I’m pretty sure it’s a reference to a relationship, but it sums up fairly accurately how I feel about this whole California project.

I miss my cat. Prepare yourselves for more whining as time goes on.

frequent flyer miles, here I come

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Last week at work was pretty interesting, it’s just taken me this long to try to wrap my head around what’s going on so that I can write about it coherently, and I’m still not sure that I can. Basically, even though I’ve been in Seattle for the last couple of months, my job is to be a consultant for anywhere on the west coast that I may be needed. So as of this Wednesday, I’m going to be flying to Santa Ana, CA every week from now until Labor Day. (They said something about 8 weeks, but I looked at the calendar & counted – it’s actually 11 weeks – so I’m not sure which number is accurate.) But in a nutshell, for the next 2 months, I’m going to be flying out every Monday morning & flying back every Friday afternoon. So I’ll still get my weekends in Seattle, but I’ll be gone most of the time.

And even though I knew this was going to be a big part of my job when I took it, I’m really not happy about it at all. I feel like I was just starting to really enjoy my life here in Seattle – I have the new apartment in the city, I’ve been much more active socially, I found a really great guy (awwww…), I’m getting more exercise, etc. And now I feel like that’s all getting yanked away from me. Plus, I love the mild summers in Seattle, so why the hell would I want to go to southern California? (Granted it’s been brutally hot here for the last few days, but that’ll pass soon – it always does.) It just sucks, I’ve been crying a lot lately. Plus I hate flying, I have anxiety attacks every time there’s the slightest bit of turbulence, so the thought of doing it 16-22 times over the next couple of months does not sound like fun at all. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow afternoon, I plan on asking her for some kind of mild tranquilizer to help chill me out. I usually just drink before I get on the plane, but I think a prescription would probably be safer (and cheaper).

On the other hand, it sounds like the work I’m going to be doing is really good – it’s all interesting stuff that I haven’t done before – I just wish I could do it locally.

Meanwhile, Dave, who is rapidly on his way to earning the title of the Best Boyfriend In The Entire History Of The Universe (or, BBITEHOTU), has offered to take care of Teenie while I’m gone. How sweet is that? We’ll give it a trial run this week to see how she gets along with his kitties (I’m expecting lots of fur to fly). If that doesn’t work out, then I guess I’ll have to figure out what to do with her, whether that’s a pet-sitter or maybe I’ll fly her down with me sometimes. We’ll see. But that’s the update of all the goings-on in my life right now.

geeks + pop culture = uh… something weird

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This morning as I was walking to work, I noticed something strange as I approached my building. The sidewalk widens out quite a bit in front of the building, so cars can pull up onto it – it’s a 30 minute load/unload zone. I spotted this huge black Suburban, which wouldn’t have been all that noticeable except the personalized license plate said “FABPRTNRS” and it was trimmed in hot pink maribou (explanation for the guys: that’s the fluffy feather stuff that they make boas out of). Perhaps more conspicuous than the SUV itself, was that in front of the SUV was a camera crew, complete with crane microphones and all. The Suburban backed up, sped forward, screeched to a halt, 5 of the gayest-looking men I’ve ever seen hopped out, they did one of those sports huddle things (all hands in the center and they yell something in unison), then they ran into my building. The camera crew filmed the whole thing. The weird part is that it wasn’t the guys from “Queer Eye”, but it sure as hell looked like that’s what they were filming. I ran into one of my co-workers outside and asked him what was going on. He was like “Oh that, it’s some internal Microsoft thing for one of their meetings or something…”

Did I mention that we share a building with Microsoft?

I have to say, I was kind of disappointed. There are a few dudes at work who are in dire need of make-overs, I was kind of hoping that the Queer Eye guys had come to Seattle. But alas, it is not to be. Still, that is one of the strangest things I’ve seen all week.

Apropos of nothing: last night I got a paper cut on my right thumb when I was opening my mail. This morning, when I went to get my bagel out of the toaster (Friday is free bagel day at work), I burned my left thumb. I am such a klutz.

Tonight, I’m going to see Scott boogie down with his Emerald City Swing group. Tomorrow, I’m going to explore the thriving metropolis that is Duvall, WA. I feel bad making Dave drive 45 minutes into the city every time we go out, so I’ve volunteered to go to the boonies. If you guys don’t hear from me again, it means I’ve been attacked by a roving gang of alpacas. I hear they’re all over the place out there.

I passed!

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The story: I wanted to follow all of the rules for making sure I passed this exam. I had chicken for dinner last night (brain food), and I ate almonds this morning (I hear they’re supposed to help your memory). And I knew it was important to get a good night’s sleep before my big test, but I was really wound up & anxious, so I took tylenol PM to knock myself out. I got in bed around 9:30 and got up at 6:30. That would’ve been great, except for the hour & a half (from 4 a.m. to 5:30) that Teenie decided it was time to get chatty. She would not… stop…. meowing. I’d call her and she’d get in bed with me, I’d pet her and she’d quiet down. Then I’d start to fall asleep, at which point I’d stop petting her (hey, you try to keep your arm moving when you’re not conscious!), which is when she’d start meowing again. As much as I love her, it was almost enough to make me wish I was cat-less.

Then I got up this morning & was completely dazed from the previous night’s drugs. Seriously, there were many moments where I’d just stare off into space rather than proceed with my morning routine. My diet coke didn’t even begin to wake me up (I guess I’ve built up an immunity to it), so I took one of those ephedra-free diet pills that are basically just caffeine. I felt vaguely Elvis-like mixing my uppers & downers, although mine are of the relatively safe over-the-counter variety, rather than the kind that could kill large farm animals. Anyway, the diet pill sort of helped, but I was still loopy & didn’t have much of an attention span. So on my way to the bus stop, I stopped & got a tall vanilla soy latte with a triple shot of espresso. Hell yeah. (Note for all of you soy haters: I’m lactose intolerant, so don’t give me any grief about my beverage selection. It took me a while to adapt to soy milk in my coffee, but I actually like it now.)

I drank my coffee on the bus, and basically vibrated through my whole exam. Legs bouncing, fingernails drumming, the whole thing. But I passed, and that’s all that matters.

So thanks for all the happy thoughts. I’ve now got 3 of the 6 exams done, so I’m officially at the halfway point. That feels pretty good. Upward & onward to the next course…

the career of a transient

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So, I’m sort of homeless at work right now. I was temporarily using the office of a woman who was on maternity leave. But she came back yesterday, so now I have no place to sit. My lead is out this week, so I’ve taken over his office until another office can be found for me. I guess it’s just one of those things about being a consultant, I’m destined never to have a permanent place to call my own at work. Which I suppose is fine. But I don’t much care for my lead’s office, the lighting in here is weird and people keep stopping by to say things like “gee, [lead’s name], you’ve changed!” Ha ha, ho ho. The upside is that he has a window, but the view is just an obnoxiously busy street and an apartment complex across the way. Not much to see, really.

I’m taking another Microsoft certification exam tomorrow, which is one of my 4 remaining tests. I actually took it last week, but I didn’t say anything about it to hardly anyone because I was really nervous about it, and sure enough, I flunked. So I’m doing the re-take tomorrow, and I figured that I’d put the word out so people can send me some good smart vibes. Just think very hard, “You will remember everything you need to know about implementing and maintaining a Windows Server 2003 network infrastructure….”

Oh, and Kris did indeed get some lovin’ from my ex. But she’d kill me if she knew I wrote about it on my blog – not that she ever reads it (neither does the ex, for that matter). But hey, I’m happy for both of them. So I’ll leave it at that.

Vegas, baby!

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Ok, the recap of the trip:

Arrived on Thursday afternoon. Checked into the hotel, met my roommate (nice girl, but very very quiet & shy – not the type of person I’m going to be best buddies with), changed clothes & headed over to our evening meeting. We got lost trying to find the casino where our meeting was, so we were about 20 minutes late. However, this led to my one celebrity sighting of the trip. We stopped at one of the hotels’ information desks to get directions, and at the registration desk was Wee-Man from “Jackass”. He looked at me, probably noticing the fact that I was staring at him like an idiot, and probably waiting for me to say something. But I couldn’t come up with anything to say, because it seems lame that a 28 year-old professional female should recognize a professional skateboarding little person (especially in the presence of 3 of my co-workers), so I just stared & kept my mouth shut. I heard later that he was in town for his bachelor party. Good for him.

Anyway, I finally got to the meeting & found out what this “team activity involving creativity & fun” was all about. They took all the new hires (read: me, plus about 50 other folks), divided us into teams, and told us that we had to come up with either a skit or a love poem that demonstrated our passion for technology. There was also a list of technical terms that we got bonus points for using. The skit/poem would have to be performed in front of everyone (about 200 people) at our meeting the next day. Upon learning of this assignment, I decided to start drinking heavily. We opted for the love poem instead of the skit, and decided to make it as dirty as possible (i.e., “my firewall burns with desire”, that type of thing). Turns out that pretty much everyone had the same idea as we did, and it was very embarassing to do this in front of a crowd of people the next day (after we had all sobered up), but they also gave us props/costumes to use. And it occurred to me that you can do just about anything when you’re wearing giant clown sunglasses, a witch’s hat and a feather boa. But it was still pretty awful.

As for the bowling, I tried. I really did. But I suck, and the 5 or 6 beers I had consumed beforehand didn’t help my cause. I bowled the first 7 frames, at which point I had a total score of 18. (I had some of the prettiest gutter balls you’ve ever seen.) I asked one of my teammates to start bowling for me after that, because I didn’t want to be the person with the lowest possible score. As it was, at our meeting the next day they gave out the winner/loser awards, and I won “Least Graceful Bowler”. Yay me. My prize was a shot glass. As if that’s going to help me improve my aim. In any case, there was a big powerpoint slide on the projector screen, with my name in big bold letters on it, which led to the most surreal moment of the whole trip…

This girl came up to me during one of the breaks & asked me if I grew up in Jackson, Mississippi. I said yes, and my brain was trying to place where I knew her from. Turns out she’s someone who I went from 1st through 9th grade with. How strange is that? I haven’t seen this person in over 13 years, and boom, there she is. She’s based in Phoenix now, and she’s a developer, so the odds that I’ll see her at work are slim to none. She looks pretty much exactly the same as she did in 9th grade, too. She’s lost some weight, but her hair is still huge, and she still wears frosty blue eye shadow – all the way up to the brow, not a speck of eyelid showing. It was good/weird to catch up, but that moment just totally freaked me out for the rest of the day.

Oh yeah, after bowling on Thursday night, I ended up kissing a co-worker. He was on my love poem/skit team, and it was one of those rare instances where we met & instantly started picking on each other. I’m hardly ever at ease that quickly with someone, so that’s cool. He’s based in Denver so I’ll probably never see him again – or at least not until the next regional meeting. So no big deal. But damn, he was cute. And a really good kisser. Hey, what happens in Vegas….

Anyway, I got back to town late Friday night & collapsed. Scott & I got massages on Saturday (that was awesome), and Saturday night I went dancing by myself because no one else seemed to be around & up for it. I met a really cute Air Force guy, who’s probably way too young for me (he’s 23), but he was also a damn good kisser. So there’s been lots of good male attention happening for me lately. I must be having a good mojo week or something.