…and I think I overdosed on shellfish

Posted on August 20, 2012 by Cindy

I was really hesitant about our trip to the beach this past weekend. The last time we went, Catie was terrified of the water and spent the entire time building sandcastles, and she refused to so much as dip a single toe in the water.

This year, I think it’s safe to say that she’s overcome her nervousness.

She still won’t dunk her head under water, but I wasn’t really a fan of that in the ocean, either. She went out a lot farther than I was expecting, and she had an absolute blast.

My brother gets MAJOR cool uncle points not only for taking her out to jump waves, but also for spending ages helping her collect seashells.

Lucy was not so sure about the water at first either. It was windy, she hadn’t napped enough that day, it had the makings to be disastrous.

Then my dad took her out and dipped her toes in the water. She decided quickly that this whole beach thing was pretty awesome.

They both had a blast. It was fantastic, and I can’t wait to take them again.

Random aside, but a little backstory: back in 1943, when my dad was 7 years old, his father (my granddad) was enlisted in the Army during World War II. Instead of going overseas, though, he was stationed in Daytona Beach, Florida. (Apparently because my granddad was in his mid-30s at the time, he was deemed “too old” to actually go to the front lines. My, how times have changed, no?) So my dad & his parents lived in Florida for a year, then moved back to Mississippi. My dad often talks about living in Daytona and how he’d go to the beach and jump the waves every day after school. He really loved the ocean. The last time he went into the ocean was apparently in the early 1970s, before I was born. So this was long overdue for him.

Honest to God, I haven’t seen my dad that happy in ages. He laughed and laughed and jumped the waves like he was a freaking teenager, and not a 76 year-old man. He’s usually such a grump, it was great to see him downright giddy.

Also, my favorite moment of the day was watching my parents hold hands as they walked out into the ocean to jump waves together. It was such a sweet moment between the two of them. I so wish I had gotten a picture of it, but I was holding Lucy and a bunch of other stuff and I couldn’t get the camera out in time.

Overall, it was a great day at the beach. Everyone had great fun and we completely wore ourselves out.

After the beach, we came back to the hotel, showered the sand off of ourselves, and went out to dinner. We happened to pass a little seafood restaurant a couple of doors down from our hotel, and we decided to try it out. If you’re ever in Wilmington, go to Hieronymus, because OMG the food was a-ma-zing.

That night, my brother earned even more Cool Uncle Points by helping Catie as she washed and sorted all of the seashells that she had collected on the beach that day.

(Related: I now have to buy some kind of display jar to hold her seashell collection because holy crap we have a TON of them.)

…And Lucy eventually sacked out on my mom.

The next day, my brother headed home, and we toured downtown Wilmington for a little bit, then met up with Ali and her husband for lunch before we headed home. It was a short trip, but it was fantastic and definitely needed.

We’re already planning our next beach trip… I’m thinking next month when Catie is tracked out from her year-round school. Maybe we’ll stay two nights next time so we can allow for maximum wave-jumping time.

I can’t wait.

Sunday at the park

Posted on July 23, 2012 by Cindy

July in North Carolina is typically not a good time to plan any outdoor activities, unless it involves a swimming pool. Yesterday, though, it was a little cooler than it’s been lately (temps in the mid-80s), and it was too overcast to go to the pool, so instead I loaded up the girls and took them to Pullen Park.

(Note that I am not being compensated in any way for this post. But if they see this and want to give us free ride tickets next time, hey, I won’t object.)

I’d taken Catie to Pullen Park once, way back when we first moved here, and we hadn’t gone back since it underwent renovations. The park is absolutely beautiful. Tons of playground space, a train ride, kiddie boats, and old-timey carousel… It’s basically kid heaven.

And oh, how my girls did love it.

[Side note: this picture happened when I told Catie to show me how high she could jump. I was not expecting a picture that basically looks like she’s levitating off the ground. If I knew how to use Photoshop, I would cut her out of this picture and then just randomly insert “Floating Catie” into all kinds of other photos, because I think it’s freaking hilarious.]

This was also Lucy’s first merry-go-round experience, and she… well, she hated it. She wanted NOTHING to do with sitting on a giant fake animal, so instead I ended up holding her on my hip while we stood next to Catie the whole time. She had a very worried look on her face, and every few seconds, she’d say, “No no no,” and shake her head. She didn’t freak out or cry, it was just a very matter of fact, “Ok, y’all, I do not like this one bit.”

The train ride was slightly more successful since I was sitting with both of them, but mostly she just looked confused by the whole thing.

Catie is all, “This is SO COOL!!!” And Lucy is all, “…the hell?”

However, it did give me the chance to snap this picture, which I love.

The absolute favorite part of the park for both girls was the kiddie boat ride. Seriously, I could’ve let them do this all day, probably.

Catie was slightly annoyed that Lucy went on the ride with her, because she wanted to ride by herself, but once they were both there, Catie snuggled up to her baby sister, and they had a fantastic time.

The best part of the park? It wore. them. out. Lucy was asleep by 7:30 last night, and Catie crashed not much later. And they slept so hard, I had to drag them out of bed this morning so we could get Catie to school on time.

If the park can do that every time, it might become our regular Sunday afternoon outing.

Edited to add:

(My mom asked me to upload this video. Everybody else probably won’t care.)

New Routines

Posted on July 17, 2012 by Cindy

We’re starting to get settled into our new routine now, and it’s good. I’m getting in the habit of making lunches at night before I go to bed, plan out the kids’ outfits in advance… all little things that make the mornings a lot easier.

Once we’re out the door in the morning, I drop Lucy off at daycare first, then take Catie to kindergarten. (The daycare is less than 2 blocks from the elementary school, so it’s an easy commute.)

The past couple of mornings, we’ve gotten there early, so I park the car, and Catie climbs into the front seat with me, and we talk for a few minutes before we head inside. I love that time with her, where we can just sit and talk about what she’s excited to do at school today.

Her reviews of kindergarten so far have been mixed. She mostly seems really happy, but big changes are scary. She likes her teacher a lot (so do I, for that matter), but the rules are a little more strict than at daycare, so I think she’s going to need some time to adjust to that.

Our daycare has an after-school program, so in the afternoons, they pick Catie up on their bus and take her to daycare. Catie was so excited to ride the bus with Miss Debbie (the assistant director of the daycare who picks them up), and it lets her keep a little bit of her routine, since she spends a couple of hours with all of her daycare friends who she already knows.

And, bonus for me, it means that I only have one stop to pick up both of my girls in the evenings.

So, things are working out really well, is I guess what I’m saying.

———————————————————————-

In completely unrelated news, Lucy would like you all to know that she has 7 teeth now. SEVEN!!

See?

And also, that she’s still being a pain in the ass about waking me up in the middle of the night. Which might be the impending arrival of tooth #8, I don’t know, but Motrin at bedtime hasn’t helped at all, and I still feel like I’m going to lose my mind.

So, she needs to knock off that nonsense immediately. Because I’ve decided that part of our new routine needs to be that everyone in our house gets a good night’s sleep. GET ON THAT, LUCY.

First day of kindergarten

Posted on July 9, 2012 by Cindy

Yesterday’s post was all about Lucy, so now I need a minute to brag about my Catie-bug.

Where we live, the public schools have both traditional and year-round calendars. We opted for a year-round school (meaning, kids go to school for 9 weeks and then get 3 weeks off, every term), because I like the idea of being able to take off-season vacations, and it also works out well for planning visits from Dave.

So, year-round schools started today. This means that I am now the mom of a kindergartener.

She has a dinosaur backpack with an Angry Bird clipped onto the zipper, a Sonic the Hedgehog lunchbox, a My Little Pony nap mat, and new sneakers that light up when she walks (her “sparkle shoes”). That pretty much encompasses Catie in a nutshell right there.

She knows how to write her first and last name. She can count to 100. She knows more words in Spanish than I do.

See look, even Lucy is all, “SHUT. UP. No way is my sister starting kindergarten already!”

She says she wants to be a paleontologist when she grows up, so she can look for dinosaur bones. But she wants to live with me and have me drive her to work every day, because she doesn’t want to learn how to drive a car. (I expect that desire to drive will kick in sooner than I want it to.) I’ve told her that she can live with me for as long as she wants, and I’ll drive her wherever she wants to go.

Lucy will probably be hotwiring cars before she even hits middle school. That kid is gonna be trouble, I tell you.

She was so excited about starting kindergarten. I, on the other hand, have been a nervous wreck. My stomach would knot up every time I thought about it. I’ve been faking it for her sake, acting like I’m super-excited too, because I didn’t want her to pick up on any of my worrywart vibes.

Only this morning did she finally say, “I think I might be a little bit shy at my new school.” I told her that was normal, and that a lot of the kids are shy at first because it’s new for all of them.

We dropped Lucy off at daycare first, and then Catie and I went to the elementary school. We got there early, and waited outside (along with a lot of other parents and kids) for the doors to open.

We made our way in and found her classroom. She was a little bit clingy and wanted a lot of extra hugs and kisses before I left. But really, she was fine. Great, even. By the time I got to the door, she was happily working on a dinosaur puzzle with a little boy.

No tears at all for either of us. I think we both deserve a cookie.

I am so damn proud of her, y’all.

On anger

Posted on June 27, 2012 by Cindy

It’s 11:30 at night, the girls are asleep, the dishwasher is running, clothes are folded and put away, daycare bags for tomorrow are packed. I should be sleeping right now.

Yet all I can think about is this rage I feel swirling around in my head, and I don’t know what to do with it.

I’m not generally an angry person. I don’t like to hold grudges. That’s not how I want to live my life. I don’t want to be one of those angry, bitter people. (You know the people I’m talking about. Everyone knows at least a handful of them.)

Lately all of my anger is aimed at Dave. Other than the obvious reasons, I can’t exactly pinpoint why. Generally we’ve been ok with each other lately. We’re civil, anyway.

But then I have a day like Monday – and of course, even though I texted Dave to let him know we were at the ER, I still had a lot of that resentment, that “your kid is sick, you should be here right now; or at the very least, you should be taking care of your other kid while I take care of the sick one” feeling.

I’ve also felt that way a lot over the past couple of weeks, when I’ve been having problems getting Lucy to sleep. Because yes, as it turns out, I do kind of need another adult in the house who can take over at 4 a.m. when I’m at the end of my rope.

I’m guessing it’s natural to feel that way when the father of your children lives 3,000 miles away, and is no longer a regular physical presence in their lives.

But it really hit me hard this past Saturday. Why Saturday? Because I spent all day with the girls, just me and them. And yes, it was exhausting (my god, was it ever), but there were so many good moments.

And I just stop and think, god damn you, you’re missing everything.

He doesn’t know how Lucy asks for her bottle, what words she knows, her favorite foods, who her favorite person is (hint: my dad), or the little “jokes” she tells. (Slapping her forehead and saying, “D’oh!” is one guaranteed to make me smile every time.)

He doesn’t see the way Lucy’s face lights up every morning when she sees her big sister for the first time.

He doesn’t get to look in his rearview mirror and see the two of them in the backseat, and catch a glimpse of Catie reaching over to tickle Lucy to make her laugh.

He doesn’t know what Catie’s favorite bedtime book is this week. He doesn’t know the songs she sings along with on the radio.

He misses the bad stuff, sure – he never has to do the grunt work of changing diapers or reminding Catie again that she needs to pick up her toys. But he misses all of those amazing and precious moments too. It makes me so angry FOR THEM. They won’t get to have memories of their childhood that involve their dad. At best, those memories will be sporadic and fleeting.

We have a lot of mutual friends on Facebook (obviously, we de-friended each other a LONG time ago), so I hear things about how he talks about the kids. He makes it sound like he’s this super-involved and loving dad. I guess that’s what he wants his friends and family to think, because the reality of it is just so unbelievably shitty.

And he brought it all on himself. He chose to leave. There’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t force him to stay in North Carolina and be a present figure in his children’s lives.

I’ve dated/am dating guys who are divorced with kids. So far, all of them have joint custody and see their children on a 50-50 basis with their exes. I’m jealous of that. I mean, sure, I’m jealous that their ex-wives get a break, some “free” nights off here and there. But I’m mainly jealous that their kids will grow up with their fathers in their lives. I wish to God I could make that happen for my girls.

I can’t fix this. I can’t change what it is. I just have to figure out some way to work around this anger that I can’t seem to get out of my head right now.

Pre-K graduation

Posted on June 25, 2012 by Cindy

Last Friday, Catie graduated from her pre-K class at daycare.

She’s 3rd from the right if you’re doing a “Where’s Waldo?” of the teeny-tiny caps & gowns.

I also love this picture, mainly because it captures exactly how bored all of the kids were precisely two minutes into the program.

But then there was this, which I loved.

(It seems that I am incapable of filming a non-jiggly video. Sorry about that.)

And this, which… y’all.

I’m generally pretty good about staying stoic through these types of things. I don’t cry at every “oh my baby is growing up” milestone. But yeah. Catie’s teacher cried, and then I almost lost it.

(The way to cope with this, by the way, is to stealthily text your other single mom friend in the room about how skanky her ex-husband’s new girlfriend is. Especially when the new girlfriend is sitting less than 3 feet away from you, and OMG honey, it’s a bunch of freaking 5 year-olds in here, do you really need to wear a dress so low cut that we can almost see your areolas?)

(Moral of the story: keep it bitchy and you won’t cry in public. Yay feminism!)

I tried to explain the concept of graduation to Catie. I told her to think about all of the things she couldn’t do a year ago that she can do now – she knows how to write all of her letters in upper and lower case, she can count to 100 & do basic math, she knows more Spanish than I do, and she’s really good at coloring inside the lines. I told her that graduation is when we celebrate all of those things she’s learned, before she moves on to the next thing, which is kindergarten. She seemed to get that.

As for kindergarten, Catie is signed up for year-round schools here. For those of you not familiar with Wake county, that means the kids go to school for 9 weeks, then have 3 weeks off after each term. (It works out well for taking off-season vacations, and makes visitation issues with Dave easier.)

It also means that kindergarten starts two weeks from today. HOLY CRAP.

The good news is that Catie is so excited about kindergarten, she asks every day if it’s time to go yet. I love that she’s so psyched about it.

My nervousness, on the other hand, mainly revolves around preparation. I’m in a tizzy worrying about school supply lists, trying to figure out what to pack in her lunchbox, figuring out the logistics of getting her there on time and then getting Lucy to daycare, etc. It’s… a lot. I think I need some to-do lists.

Oh, one last thing about pre-K graduation? Each kid was given a little book full of artwork they’ve done throughout the year, some photos that the teachers snapped of them, and then they all had certificates saying they were Most [whatever]. Catie won Most Inquisitive. Which is no surprise to anyone who’s had to listen to her ask “Why?” a million times. Or anyone who was in the car with us last night when she out of the blue (the radio was off) started singing “I’m Sexy and I Know It,” and then asked what “sexy” means. (Try answering THAT one with the grandparents in the car! AWKWARD.)

So, yeah. My Catie is a pre-K graduate. Time is a-flyin’, I tell ya.

9 things for Friday

Posted on June 15, 2012 by Cindy

I didn’t mean to leave that really depressing post up at the top for so long. Sorry about that.

So! After a really awful week, here are some things that I am thankful for today:

1. It’s Friday.

2. After a hellish week of no sleep and being woken up at least three times a night, Lucy finally slept through the night last night. Thank you God and the makers of Benadryl. (Yes, I drugged her. I was desperate. Judge not lest ye be and all that.)

Yeah, ok, fine. She can be cute sometimes, I admit it.

3. Catie has been awesomely delightful this week. I think 5 is my favorite age so far. She still challenges me, but for the most part, she’s just so damn fun right now.

Pimp hats FTW!

And also this:

That picture makes me laugh every time I see it.

4. I get to have lunch with The Guy today.

5. My mom and I are doing a combo yard sale tomorrow, and I’m surprisingly not stressed about it. Normally I get all obsessive about pricing and organizing and all that. This time I’m basically just throwing my crap out in the yard and letting people make me an offer. Whatever doesn’t sell is going to Goodwill, so I really don’t care.

6. My belated Mother’s Day gift to myself is today. I had a Groupon deal for a facial and massage, and I’m finally redeeming it this afternoon. The last time I had a massage, I was pregnant with Lucy. And I can’t even remember the last time I had a facial, but it was before we moved to North Carolina (in 2008), so it’s WAY overdue. I’m so excited.

7. My brother is coming to town this weekend to help out with the yard sale. Which is, I guess, not such a HUGE deal, because I see him fairly often these days. But still, I like my brother, so it’s fun to have him around.

8. Highs in the upper 70s in June. Damn, I love North Carolina.

9. Did I mention that it’s almost the weekend? Because yeah, that.

PooBou.com

Mom. Stepmom. Nerd. Feminist. Pretty good wife. Outstanding ex-wife. I try to keep it light and funny. I'm not always successful.

Category Archives: Single Parenting

…and I think I overdosed on shellfish

Sunday at the park

New Routines

First day of kindergarten

On anger

Pre-K graduation

9 things for Friday

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