blogging as a means to not think about lasers in my freakin' eyeballs (which, FAIL)

My eye surgery is this afternoon. It occurred to me while I was getting dressed this morning that it was probably not the best day to apply both eyeliner and (non-waterproof) mascara, but it was too late by the time I realized it. I guess I’ll just look like a raccoon later when my eyes water it off.

And I forgot to say it earlier, but thank you to all of you who left kind words when I freaked out about the surgery last week. But I need to clarify, the surgery I’m having is not lasik. I’m still going to need my glasses after this is over. Basically what they’re doing is using a laser to poke a few holes in my iris (shudder), which will ensure that the fluid in my eyes can circulate. (If the fluid can’t continuously circulate, the optic nerve will die, hence the blindness.) You can read all about it here if you like – I started to read it and freaked out and had to close the window. But I think it’s relatively accurate.

Btw, I have no idea if they’re planning to drug me for this procedure or not. I forgot to ask beforehand. So I’m bringing my Klonopin with me, and if they don’t offer me any drugs, I’ll just go ahead and knock myself out, thank you very much.

And I have to say, it’s been a lot of fun having Brittany here this week. She has a great camera (that I totally want to steal) and we got some fantastic pictures of Catie, which I’m going to try to upload soon. As an added bonus, my sister flew in for the weekend last night, so I’ll have both Tracy and Brittany here to take care of Catie while I’m out of commission (and Dave will be, presumably, taking care of his drugged-up wife). Catie is in Happy Toddler Overload, she doesn’t know what to do with all the attention. So no worries on that end.

Oh, one random note: yesterday Catie was in a bad mood and I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie. She walked over to the shelf where all of her DVDs are stored, and pulled out “E.T.” (which I bought before she was born, but the cellophane was still on it because I rarely feel the need to reduce myself to a sobbing mess). I wasn’t sure if it would be too scary for her, so I skipped the beginning and started it at the point where Elliott and E.T. meet for the first time. She loved it. She walked over to the TV to pat Elliott and reassure him that he shouldn’t be scared, because E.T. was his friend. I can’t really say how great it is to see your kids enjoying movies that you loved when you were little, but yeah, it was fantastic.

random Wednesday stuff

1. It looks like we’ll be staying pretty busy with company for a while. My brother spent Saturday night with us, and shortly after he left on Sunday afternoon, Brittany came to visit. (Which, if you read her blog, you probably know exactly why she came on Sunday instead of on Thursday, which had been her original plan.) On Sunday night, my sister called – she had travel plans for this weekend that fell through, and she was wondering if she could change her plane ticket and come to Raleigh instead. Sure, why not! So we’ll have a continuous stream of visitors for over a week, which is actually kind of cool. Especially since it distracts me from the fact that…

2. Our house closing date is going to get changed. The closing depends on us receiving some funds from the UK (we’re taking out a business loan against a couple of pieces of property that Dave and his mom and brother own together), and we just found out from my mother-in-law today that it’s going to take longer than we thought, due to the fact that we have to wait for lawyers and surveyors and all sorts of legal mumbo-jumbo to finish up. And you know, that’d be fine, if it wasn’t for the fact that we have to be out of this house on July 31st, and if we can’t close by then, we’ll have nowhere to live.

So, we’re asking the sellers if we can rent the new house for the month of August (along with a letter from the bank in the UK promising that the funds are, in fact, on their way… at some point). And I’m crossing my fingers and praying that they say ok and don’t decide to walk.

3. In other real estate news, for the past two days I’ve been trying to help Brittany find an apartment in the Raleigh area. It’s been fun – her arm is all banged up and she’s taking Vicodin for the pain, so she’s been very giggly and stoned through the whole process. I’ve been her designated driver, and I’ve been taking lots of pictures of all of the apartments because I wasn’t sure she would remember anything that we saw. But we’ve found a few apartments that she likes, now we just need to narrow it down and pick one.

4. Today’s date is 07-08-09. Funny.

Happy Fourth

We had a nice fourth of July here. It’s odd because it isn’t really a date that we typically celebrate that much in our house, since 1/3 of our household comes from the country that sort of made that whole Revolutionary War thing necessary. But Dave’s a good sport about American holidays, and he wasn’t even offended when the neighborhood association stuck an American flag in our yard next to our mailbox. (Why, I don’t know. But it was awfully tempting to buy a Union Jack flag to hang up, just to balance things out.)

Anyway, yesterday morning, Catie and I went to meet up with my cousin Cat and her family (plus a couple of friends) at the Eno River Festival in Durham. That was a lot of fun – we ate giant turkey legs, corn dogs and other festival foods, wandered around, heard these guys, who were un-freaking-believable, and let the girls play in the river. The river, btw, was a hilarious example of how different Catie and Elizabeth are. Elizabeth sees the river, and immediately strips off her dress so she can swim in the river in just her underpants. Meanwhile, it took me 20 minutes just to get Catie to take her shoes off and stick one toe in the water.

Catie in the Eno River

This was the deepest I could ever coerce her to go, and she whined and cried about it the whole time. I wish I had a picture of Elizabeth for contrast, because it was a great visual example of Daredevil Child versus Cautious Kid.

After the festival, we came home and got cleaned up just in time for my brother to arrive from Charlotte. He didn’t have anything to do for the holiday weekend and wanted to know if it was ok if he came to visit. I said of course, so he drove over & spent the night with us last night. As soon as he arrived, we headed over to Cat and Tony’s for dinner.

I must say, I love hanging out at Cat & Tony’s house. It’s always relaxed and fun and easy. Plus, you know, I get to smoosh on this little guy.

Austin loves his thumb
Mmm, thumbs, nom nom!

Cat’s parents (my aunt & uncle) are in town, and a couple of their friends plus Tony’s sister Diana were also there, so it was a nice big group of us. We had grilled chicken, hot dogs, and I think I ate my weight in chips & hummus. Oh, and there were at least four desserts. Awesome.

As we were leaving to go see the fireworks (the viewpoint is about a half-mile or so from Cat & Tony’s house), Cat told Elizabeth to go get her shoes. Her shoes were upstairs, so she said, “Come with me, Catie.” Catie said ok and followed her. And they held hands as they walked up the stairs together. My heart almost exploded from the cuteness.

Catie & Elizabeth

I cannot tell you how much I love watching our two girls grow up together. Even when they fight (and there are occasional disagreements about whose turn it is to use a certain toy), it’s still great to see them interact.

Then of course, there were the fireworks, but I need a new camera, so most of my pictures were crap. This was the first fireworks experience for both Catie & Elizabeth, and they absolutely loved it. Our viewpoint was from a field a couple of miles away from the action, so we could see all the explosions and colors without too much noise. It made the whole thing much less scary for the girls.

Chris & Catie at breakfast

This morning, we went out for breakfast, and drove my brother past our new house so he could see it. He left to go back to Charlotte soon afterward, and Catie went down for a nap.

This evening, we’re getting a visit from the lovely and delightful Brittany. She has a few days off work, so she’s going to come stay with us to look for a job and an apartment before she moves here next month. Yay! I can’t wait!

Edited to add: I just realized that I wrote a post with this exact title, five years ago today. That was the first fourth of July that Dave and I celebrated, watching the fireworks from the roof of my apartment in downtown Seattle. We’d only been dating for about six weeks at that point. Aw, nostalgia.

tea, a drink with jam and bread

Ok, I didn’t get a video of Catie singing the alphabet song, but I did get this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItjtLfsBSD4

Since she’s starting to like The Sound of Music, I showed her this video of the people dancing to “Do Re Mi” at the train station in Antwerp, Belgium, and she absolutely loved it. We must’ve watched it at least five or six times this morning.

For the record, I filmed it early this morning, which is why her hair is so messy. She was still in her PJ’s with a major case of bedhead.

Also, last night we went to see Rhythmicity, a local band that does African/Cuban tribal drumming, who we’ve seen a few times now, but I finally remembered to bring my video camera this time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EZptEMxj54

The band always brings a big basket of small rhythm instruments for the kids to play with. Catie loves them. You can also see Elizabeth and Cat (with Austin in his sling) dancing in the background. The girls always have so much fun at these drum shows.

And no, I don’t know why Catie grabs her own butt halfway through the video. Maybe she farted? Two year-olds are a mystery.

random stuff that is probably not nearly as funny to anyone else

Since I think the mood is in dire need of lightening around here:

1. This post of Sally’s from 5 years ago. Read the comments. Had me laughing until tears ran down my face.

2. This video, no matter how many times I see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA

3. Oh, and while I’m linking videos, let’s really hope that this isn’t the house we’re buying. (Thanks, Angie. I love this one.)

4. Catie, who in the past couple of days:
4a. Has started trying to sing the alphabet song, and OMG I have to get a video of that, because it’s hilarious.

4b. Was really good at the gym’s nursery while I worked out yesterday, so as a reward we went to the pool afterward. We haven’t been to the YMCA’s pool yet this year, I forgot how nice it is. They have a “splash zone” which is basically just an area of fountains that shoot water out of the ground in various formations. Watching Catie run around sticking her hands and feet in the water was so much fun. (She never jumped into the fountains, she’s way too cautious for that. And she got pretty mad when she stuck her hand in one fountain and it splashed water in her eyes.)

4c. Bashed me in the face with the back of her head during a particularly overzealous toddler bounce and split my top lip open. When I told her that she hurt me, she wanted to kiss it to make it better, which was sweet, but my lip was gushing blood at the time, so, NO. I let her kiss my lip when I finally got the bleeding under control, and she said, “All better now?” I said, “Thank you, sweetie, but no, it still hurts.” She said, “No. It all better now.” Well, thanks for setting me straight then. Guess there’s no need for this ice pack I’m holding to my face.

4d. Got irritated with me for getting too interactive during our bedtime routine. We lie in her bed together and read books, and the Curious George alphabet book has a line about “C is for a crab with two clamping claws,” and I tried to do a crab claw and tickle her tummy. Usually she thinks that’s funny, but I guess she was particularly tired and grumpy on this night, because she pushed me away, sighed exasperatedly and said, “Mommy, go to bed.” Nice.

4e. Has started calling me “Mom” as well as “Mommy.” It’s cute because using “Mom” makes her sound like a grown-up, but I thought I’d be Mommy for a few more years. I’m not sure I like it so much.

4f. Sang “Do-Re-Mi” in the car this morning on the way to daycare. I didn’t realize that she knew all the words, but she does – complete with holding her hand to her chest during, “me, a name I call MYSELF.” It was so cute I almost cried.

because sometimes there IS such a thing as a geographical cure

I mentioned last week that we had a visit from my friend Brittany. What I didn’t fill in was a little of her backstory. Brittany shared her story on a website called Violence Unsilenced, which provides an outlet for survivors of domestic abuse to tell their stories. If you don’t know Brittany’s story, go read. I’ll wait.

Ok, then. Now you probably understand why I want to go back in time about 20 years to rescue toddler Brittany and to kick her father’s ass. Actually, I’d be willing to kick his ass in present day too. Doesn’t matter. But more than anything, I wish I could spare her some of the pain and suffering that she’s experienced.

Here’s the rest of the story: Brittany currently lives with her mom, three doors down from the father who abused her. He continues to be a threatening presence in her life to this day, and she lives in a constant state of fear and anxiety. It’s a completely toxic situation, and she needs to get the hell out of there.

The problem is, despite having a job (two or three jobs, really, if you count the work she does at summer camps with special-needs kids), Brittany doesn’t have the money to move. And like a lot of abuse survivors, she is not the most adept when it comes to asking for help. So yesterday, Brittany’s friend Aman enlisted my help to set up a PayPal account on her behalf, without telling her about it. Well, actually, he set up the PayPal account. All I did was send direct messages to every single one of Brittany’s friends on Twitter who I thought might help us out.

And you know, the Twitter community is pretty amazing. Aman opened the account in the morning, and by yesterday evening, we had already raised over $500. And I had several emails from people pledging to give money as soon as they get their next paycheck. We decided to go ahead and tell Brittany about the account, since it was obviously going to be way too big a deal to keep a secret much longer. She was pretty shocked, and I think I might’ve made her cry a little bit. (It didn’t help that we were on a video chat on Skype, and I had Catie in my lap, and I was having Catie say things like, “Britty, move here!” Manipulative? Moi? Never!)

If any of you want to help Brittany out, the link to the PayPal account is . Even if it’s just a few dollars, it all helps. I just want to help my friend get to a place where she can finally feel safe, and where she can start to heal. Because absolutely nobody should ever live in that kind of fear.

Father's Day

I’ll be honest, Father’s Day is maybe not the biggest holiday in our house. Neither is Mother’s Day. We tend to make a bigger deal out of birthdays and Christmas than random Hallmark-sanctioned holidays.

Still, as far as Father’s Days go, I think Dave’s had a pretty good one. He got up early and went for a 7-mile hike while I took Catie out to run errands. The plan is to relax this afternoon and then go out for dinner tonight. So yeah, it’s a pretty good day.

Also, I decided to play around with this new Smilebox feature on Hallmark.com that lets you create photo collage e-cards. This is the one I sent to Dave earlier.

Click to play this Smilebox greeting:
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I also created one for my dad. (Yeah, same card. I know. I’m lazy.)

Click to play this Smilebox greeting:
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I’m also thinking a lot about Mike today; I cannot imagine how hard this day is for him without Maddie. The Room 704 girls wrote a really beautiful post for Mike; I don’t think there’s anything I can add to that.

I hope all you dads out there have a happy Father’s Day.