It’s been a few days since the whole house break-in incident, and I have to say, I’m not doing so well. I’m not usually prone to anxiety attacks, but something about pregnancy hormones, plus Dave being gone, plus the whole “strangers were inside my house while my baby and I were asleep” thing has turned me into a giant mess.
Case in point: Catie drew this picture on her Magna-Doodle. When I asked her what it was, she said, “That’s Mommy’s sad face. See the tears?”
There is absolutely nothing about that picture that doesn’t break my heart.
The night after the break-in, I woke up what felt like every 20 minutes, totally panicked at some teeny-tiny noise. Even though I knew that the locksmith had replaced all the locks on the doors, and I’d verified that they were all locked at least 3 times, I still couldn’t relax. At one point, I ran into my mom in the hall because I was sure I had heard a noise and I went flying out of bed. And yeah, I had heard something. My mom had gotten up to use the bathroom. That was it.
The irony, of course, is that I had to cancel my OB appointment on Thursday morning because I had no purse and no keys to get to the doctor’s office. And I had already been planning on discussing some of my anxiety problems with my doctor. Then this happened, and… well, let’s just say that I thought I was having anxiety before, but this cranked it up to 11.
So I called the doctor’s office on Friday morning, and I basically unloaded on this poor nurse about all the stuff that’s been going in my life lately and how stressed out I am, and oh GOD I certainly don’t want to sound like I’m drug-seeking, and I don’t want to take anything that could hurt my baby, and I don’t want to take anything that will turn me into a zombie, but I really need some help here, and I’m sure I’m not the first pregnant lady they’ve ever encountered who has had anxiety issues. The nurse was fantastic and so nice, and said she’d talk to my doctor and call me back immediately. She did, and they called in a prescription for some xanax for me. They also re-scheduled my appointment for Monday morning so I can get in to talk to a doctor immediately.
[Side note: Who knew that xanax was on the list of medications that are OK to take when you’re pregnant? I certainly didn’t.]
My brother was so worried about us that he drove over from Charlotte on Friday afternoon to spend the night. That was a nice distraction, especially for Catie.
She really does adore her uncle Chris.
And I have to say, knowing that my brother was sleeping on the couch downstairs did help me relax. Just knowing that he was there and would hear it if anyone tried to break in was a very welcome relief, and I was able to sleep a lot better that night.
(Btw, you already know this if you follow me on Twitter, but the day after the break-in, we were on our way to the police department to get a copy of the police report, and I had a tire blow-out. Bent the wheel base and all. And nobody has my particular wheel model in stock. So I’m driving around on the spare since the ordered one won’t arrive until later this week. Fabulous. And don’t ask how much it’s going to cost because it makes me want to cry to just think about it.)
My mom leaves on Tuesday, and I am totally terrified of being alone in the house after that. (Well, not alone, but I’ll be the only adult on the premises.) Dave offered to fly home early, but I told him not to. I miss him terribly, and yes, selfishly I absolutely do want him to come home right now. But I also know that this is his last chance to get some one-on-one family time before the baby comes, and he’s been needing this vacation for a long time.
I might ask my brother to come back again next weekend. Or maybe Catie and I will take a road trip someplace on our own. I haven’t decided, but I’m pretty sure that we need to do Something Fun to snap ourselves out of this funk.