to work or not to work?

I have a job interview tomorrow. It’s for a part-time, six month contract at the Giant Software Company, and I’m really not sure how I feel about it.

1. I’m qualified for it, and it’s certainly up my alley.
2. They want someone 5 days a week, but it’d only be four to five hours a day, which sounds pretty manageable.
3. The money would be nice.

1. As completely un-enlightened as this might sound, I don’t like the idea of leaving Cate. What do you know, apparently I’m a 1950’s housewife. So much for my feminist upbringing. The thing is, I know Cate would be fine, but I would miss her. I realize that’s selfish, but that’s how it is.
2. Most of the time I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water with all of the day-to-day stuff around here. The house is almost always a mess, I can never seem stay on top of dishes and laundry, I feel like I’m constantly washing bottles, mixing formula, etc. How would I squeeze in a part-time work schedule with all of that? The thought is totally daunting and makes me feel like I want to cry. I know tons of women have babies and work full-time, and hats off to you because I can’t imagine it.
3. Today is the first time I’ve tried calling daycare centers to see about availability. Most of them have insane wait lists – the first one said they have no openings for infants until June 2008. No kidding. And even if I found a daycare center, most of them don’t have a part-time option. It makes sense in a “childcare provider to infant ratio” kind of way, but it means that you end up paying for full-time daycare regardless of whether or not you use it that much. And then it becomes a question of whether or not the money I’d be bringing home would really be worth it in the long run.

And yeah, Dave works from home, so we could theoretically work out some sort of shift schedule. Say, he could work for a few hours before I leave, and finish his work day after I get back. The problem is, Dave and I have very different methods of taking care of Cate. (Example: I pick her up at the first whimper. He thinks there’s nothing wrong with letting her scream for a few minutes to see if she’ll settle herself down. The thing is, she never does settle herself down, so it takes five times longer to calm her down when he waits until she’s in a full-blown tizzy. That drives me nuts.) I know that we’re allowed to have different parenting styles, but since I’m an obsessive first-time mom, I tend to view his way as wrong. So even though it sounds totally horrible to say that I don’t want to leave our child alone with my husband for extended amounts of time, sue me, it’s the truth.

So yeah. Interview tomorrow. Huh. We’ll see.

One thought on “to work or not to work?

  1. Get a job, ya’ hippie! (just kidding)

    Seriously, you will blow away the interviewers and you’ll make the right call, whatever that is.

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