Category Archives: Babies ‘n Stuff

one of a million ways to offend a new mommy

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Ok, Internet, y’all can tell me if I’m totally crazy here.

I got an email (via Flickr) a few days ago from a journalist who’s writing a story promoting breastfeeding, and she wanted my permission to use this picture of Cate getting a bottle “to provide context.”

Blink. Blink.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t she basically imply that she was going to use the picture of my baby getting a bottle as an example of “here’s how you shouldn’t feed your child”? I know that this is a particularly sensitive issue for me, so maybe I’m overreacting, but that is what she’s more or less saying, right?

This is what I wrote back to her:

Hi [insert journalist’s name],

I appreciate where you’re coming from, but I am one of the thousands (millions?) of mothers who really wanted to breastfeed my baby and was unable to, due to poor milk supply. Perhaps I’m being oversensitive, but every time I read some type of news story that promotes breastfeeding over formula, it still stings a bit and makes me feel like I am somehow failing my child. I know that’s not true, but it gets tiresome because it seems like there is some new “breastfeeding good! bottle-feeding baaaaad!” story being published practically every other day.

So, the way I read your email, you’re asking if you can publish a picture of my daughter as one of those poor, deprived bottle-fed babies with a horrible selfish mother who doesn’t care enough to breastfeed her? Sorry, but no. I don’t want any of my personal photos used for that purpose. I understand that you’re trying to do a good thing – raise social consciousness, whatever – but I’d rather not be involved.

Thanks,
Cindy

Ok, maybe I was a little rude, but believe me, it took a great deal of self-restraint to make it as polite as it was. I held back a lot.

Also, as for the photo itself, it’s not even that great a picture of Cate – her hair looks greasy, her eyes are half-closed, her diaper is showing – I have hundreds of photos that are a million times more adorable. And I’m not the one feeding her in the picture, it was my mom. Not that you can tell from the way the picture is cropped, but whatever. It just bugs me. If you want to publish a picture of my daughter in the media, it had better be a really cute one. Like this. Or this. Or this. Or… ok, I could go on for days with that.

I’m also irritated because I am so. damn. tired. of getting the stink-eye from other women every time I have to give Cate a bottle in public. I know it goes both ways – I was with a friend of mine when she nursed her baby in a Starbucks, and there were teenage boys pointing and giggling, and hoo boy was I grateful that it was her boobs on display and not mine. It just feels like, man, I have to deal with this issue often enough in real life, and now I have to feel like I’m being judged via email too?

It isn’t really the journalist’s fault. I checked out her Flickr profile – she’s young, pretty and single, and I’m sure that she probably never gave a half-second’s thought to this issue before she had to write about it. But, I do wonder if the other people she contacted about posting pictures of their kids being fed by bottles were as offended as I was.

half-birthday

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My baby is half a year old today. I cannot begin to tell you how weird that feels to me. Cate had her 6-month pediatrician appointment yesterday, where we found out that she’s now up to 19 pounds, 11 ounces (ouch), she’s 26.5 inches long, and her head circumference is officially off the charts. That’s my big-brained baby.

As far as milestones from last month, we have:

* Teething. About three weeks ago, she started chewing on her hands constantly, and always trying to bite Dave and me as well. She’s always tried to shove our hands into her mouth, but the biting thing was new. I managed to check out her gums, and I can see her front bottom teeth just barely under the surface. I have no idea how long it’ll take them to come in, but still, that’s pretty exciting.

* Sitting. She’s trying to figure out how to sit independently. She can do it for a couple of seconds before she tips over. I have a feeling that she’s going to have that one nailed pretty soon.

* Trying to feed herself. If you hold a bottle in front of her, she grabs it with both hands and shoves it into her mouth. She’s starting to do the same thing with sippy cups (we have the kind with handles on both sides – easy to grip), but since she only gets water in the cup, she gets bored with that pretty quickly. And wet. I don’t know who first came up with the concept of spill-proof cups, but they need to improve that one.

And in honor of her half-birthday, Cate got her first taste of vegetables. She had carrots. They were a huge hit, and an even bigger mess.

We’ve been having a great time with my folks this week. My mom kept Cate occupied so my dad and I could finish painting my kitchen. My new hinges finally showed up today, so after I get my cabinet doors re-hung, I’ll have to take pictures of my pretty new kitchen to show off. I guess it would’ve been smart to take “before” pictures for comparison’s sake, but I sort of forgot about that until just now.

Oh, and my dad has been trying to mow our lawn. Our riding mower is broken, so he’s trying to use the regular old push mower. On two acres. And most of our yard is as tall as my hips. Thank God we’ve been having mild weather, I was worried he was going to give himself a heart attack out there.

My brother and sister are flying in for the weekend tonight. My folks are actually picking my brother up at the airport right now. His flight from Charlotte was supposed to get in about 8 minutes before my sister’s flight from NYC. He was on time, but unfortunately my sister has been delayed over 3 1/2 hours, so she’ll be here sometime after midnight. Poor thing. My sister is the family photographer, so I’m sure I’ll have tons of pics by the time the weekend is over.

daycare debate

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I really should’ve known better than to write anything about Cate’s sleeping habits. The past three nights, she’s woken up screaming because she rolled over onto her tummy and then scooted herself into the far corner of the crib, and she couldn’t figure out how to get out. Boo. I miss waking up to happy-baby-talky noises on the monitor.

New topic: Since my parents are coming, Kris came over yesterday to keep Cate entertained so I could clean. It was fun to have Kris over and catch up for a while, but it confirmed what I already suspected (because it happened when the neighbor girls were here baby-sitting while I painted the kitchen): if Cate can see me, but I’m not holding her, she gets cranky really fast.

Originally, I had been thinking that we might get a baby-sitter or nanny to take care of Cate when I start working again, but I realized that probably won’t work. If she’s screaming her head off, it’s not like I’m going to be able to concentrate on writing, y’know? So I’m exploring daycares in the area. I think that the exposure to other kids can only be a good thing – and by that I mean both the socialization aspect as well as the immune system boost she’ll eventually gain from being exposed to all those other babies’ germs.

I’d really like to do daycare just part-time, but I was worried that I’d end up paying for full-time daycare since it seems like most places don’t have a part-time option. (Which makes sense from a payroll standpoint – they still have to pay their staff even if the babies aren’t there all the time.) But I called around and found a couple of places that actually do have part-time care available. They’ll take babies anywhere from 2 to a full 5 days per week.

I know a lot of mommies feel guilty for putting their kids in daycare, and I totally get that. If I had to go back to work when she was only 6 or 8 weeks old, I know I would’ve been a mess. (I also would’ve been a zombie, since Cate was only sleeping in 3-hour chunks then.) But my goal was to stay home with her for the first 6 months, which I’ve done. And I’m only thinking about putting her in daycare for 3 days a week, so I feel pretty good about it. I’m sure that the first time I have to leave her there when she’s crying, it’ll probably rip my heart out, especially since I’ve pretty much convinced myself that I’m the only one who can soothe her when she’s upset. (Dave can do it too, although his success rate isn’t as high as mine. You know, not to brag or anything.) But I’ll figure out a way to cope with the whole “oh god, I’m abandoning my poor defenseless precious baby” mommy guilt.

Speaking of which, I’m sure that God or the Flying Spaghetti Monster or whoever had his reasons for giving us the mommy guilt. You know, it kept the cave mommies of yore from leaving their babies out as a pterodactyl snack or whatever. But I really wish we could’ve evolved past it now. Because the mommy guilt just sucks. So much for Darwin.

Anyway, tomorrow is going to be quite the big day for us: we’re going to take tours of two different daycare facilities, meet up with my friend Janet and her baby for a while, and then my parents come in late that night. And once my folks are here, the real fun starts, since that’s when I’m going to be painting the rest of the kitchen. Whee!

yay! And also, ow.

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I don’t want to jinx this by writing about it, so everyone cross your fingers…

The past two nights, Cate has slept over 9 hours straight. Without so much as a peep. And I got to sleep the majority of that time too, so I actually feel sort of (dare I say it?) almost sane. Wow.

The bad part is that I apparently slept weird last night, because I woke up with a wicked crick in my neck. It hurts down the side of my neck all the way into my left shoulder. Picking Cate up out of her crib this morning was a test of my endurance, to say the least. And I can’t really turn my head to the left, which sucks because I have to run a couple of errands today, and I generally think it’s a good idea to have full neck mobility when I drive.

Oh, and I’m not sure how I’m going to manage using either the Baby Bjorn or the backpack carrier to take Cate for our daily walk, since both of those put weight on my shoulder. I think I might have to drag Dave along with us and make him carry her.

Please excuse me while I go down a fistful of ibuprofen. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

mid-month milestones

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A couple of baby-related events:

1. I think Cate is teething. In the past week or so, she’s suddenly started chewing on her hands all the time, and trying to bite on Dave and me as hard as she can. She’s always been a pretty oral baby, what with the constant stuck-out tongue, but this biting thing is new, and it makes me think that those first couple of teeth must not be too far behind.

2. She finally figured out solid food! I was still doing my lazy “offer it once a week or so and see if she gets the hang of it” approach, and when we tried it on Monday, it’s like it magically clicked in her head that if she would just close her mouth on the spoon, the food would stay there long enough for her to swallow it. So she’s getting rice cereal every day now, and she’ll be ready to start veggies when she hits her 6-month birthday in two weeks.

I know that’s probably not a big deal to anyone except me, but mixing formula and washing bottles is a daily chore that I am very much looking forward to lightening over the next several months. I can’t wait until I can give her some finger foods and a sippy cup and let her feed herself a snack rather than being at her every little beck and call.

Unrelated: Yesterday we met up with my friend Janet and her baby Isabella at the park, which was nice. Cate particularly enjoyed rubbing her toes on the grass (something she can’t do at home, since our yard is… well, sort of scary). The grass was also fun to reach over and grab, since it doesn’t scream when it’s being yanked on. Unlike, say, Mommy’s hair. And we tried out the baby swings, but she was not a fan of them at all. She lasted about ten seconds before she started screaming. Oh well, we’ll try again when she’s a bit older.

Next on the agenda: Janet’s condo complex has a pool (actually, it has four pools – it’s a big place), so we’re going to try it out with the babies and see how they like it. Based on how much Cate adores bathtime, I’m guessing it’ll be a hit.

things noticed on our daily walks

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* There are a ton of rabbits here. I don’t know if it’s an unusual amount or not, because last summer I didn’t go walking in the evening nearly as often as I do now. But every night we seem to run into at least a couple of little brown bunny rabbits with their little white cottontail butts, and they are just the cutest thing ever. I’m sure I would find them a lot less cute if I had a vegetable garden, but since our yard is just one big weed-fest, I don’t mind them at all. I just hope the mama bunnies keep their babies out of our yard, so the cats don’t get them.

* We also have a ton of slugs, which never cease to gross me out.

* One of our neighbors apparently owns a helicopter. I guess it’s a hobby, and he certainly has the acreage to store it. It’s just… huh. I’ve lived here for two and a half years. How did I never notice that before?

* If there’s a cow with no udders, that’d be a bull, right? Even though it doesn’t have horns either? There are two of them in a field right near our house, and anytime we pass farm animals, I always do the “Hey Catie, look at the (fill in the name of appropriate farm animal).” But I have no idea what to call those things. I always say cows, even though I’m pretty sure it’s the wrong name.

* Another night we walked past a field of horses, where there were like four horses in one pasture, and one horse in a separate fenced-off area (all on the same farm). I thought that was weird, but whatever. Then I realized that the one horse that had been separated from the others was… um… aroused. To put it mildly. I’m pretty sure the other horses were girls, so I guess I understand why the (very clearly) boy horse was separated from them. But I went from doing my usual “Hey Catie, look at the horsies,” to “Oh dear god, run away! Don’t look at the horsies! Eyes straight ahead, missy!!!” I know she’s way too young to understand, I just don’t want to put those kind of scary images in her subconscience or anything.

* A couple of nights ago, we ran into a kid who was clearly the opposite of the firecracker punks. We have a lot of gravel roads in our neighborhood, so it’s pretty ideal for those all-terrain vehicles. I heard this kid’s four-wheeler about five minutes before I saw him because it was so loud. When he saw us, he stopped, turned off the ignition, and walked his four-wheeler past us. Wow. How polite is that? Cate was right on the verge of dozing off in the backpack carrier, so as he passed us, I thanked him for not startling her. He kind of did the “aw, shucks” nod and kept going. It’s nice to know there are some teenagers in the world whose mamas brought them up right.

* Last night we passed one of our neighbors, who warned me that she had just passed a coyote, and her description of its location was right across the street from our driveway. Great! I went into hyper-mommy protective mode, holding onto Cate’s legs in the Baby Bjorn (no nipping at my baby’s toes, thank you), looking suspiciously at every shrub and hedge along the way, and getting mentally prepared to scream, yell and possibly kick the coyote if it came toward us. I don’t know how bold the coyotes are around here, but I’ve heard stories of them being totally unafraid of people, so I was trying to psych myself up for anything. I also wanted to get home as fast as possible to make sure all of our kitties were inside so they wouldn’t end up a coyote snack. We made it home and never saw the coyote, although I did hear some of the neighbors’ dogs going berserk (barking like crazy), so I think I know which direction he went. Add that to the list of reasons I want to move.