Author Archives: Cindy

Constipation Watch '09

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I think the worst of the drama is over. Last night Catie clung to me, screaming and crying “Mommy, it hurts!!” And after a few minutes of that, she finally produced a poop the size of a tennis ball. Which, OMG. Poor baby girl.

The other problem we’re having right now is that she was so distressed by the potty-training process and the sensation of pee running down her legs, that she’s now trying to hold her pee as long as possible. Which I suppose is a good thing, since it means that she’s learning how to go a long time in between trips to the bathroom. But she’s not going to the bathroom, we’ve let her go back to wearing diapers, and it seems like she’s afraid to use them. She holds it until she’s in pain, and again we start up with the screaming and the “Mommy help! Poop!” (It’s not poop, but the pressure in her tummy probably feels like it.) It’s awful because I hate seeing my little girl in pain, and there isn’t really anything I can do about it. She just needs to pee, and she’s scared to. So that sucks.

pretty girl with wet hair
Seriously, who could stand to see that face go all sad and miserable?

I think that the one good thing about this failed attempt at potty-training is that it’s at least introduced the idea of using the potty into her mind. Catie has never been the type of child to adapt to something new really quickly. She was on the late side of the normal range when it came to crawling, walking, talking, laughing, and a whole bunch of other things. She is not the kid who’s going to jump into the deep end of the pool on her first try, and that’s totally and completely FINE with me. So we’ve let her know that this is something she needs to do; we often talk about all the big kids she knows who use the potty. She even goes through the list of all the neighborhood kids to check on their potty-usage status. (“Kenzie go potty?” “Yes, sweetie, McKenzie uses the potty.” “Jakey go potty?” “Yes, Jacob uses the potty too.” And so on.) It’s definitely on her mind a lot, but now I’m going to back off and give her some time to mull it over and decide when it’s time to try again. She’s a smart kid, she’ll let me know when she’s ready.

Other than that, the visit from my parents has been good. We went to the Life & Science Museum in Durham, which is so much fun. Catie loves the farm animals and the butterfly house, and although she was most excited to ride on the choo-choo train, she got freaked out when we went through the tunnel and all the kids screamed (at the train conductor’s instruction). But she had a lot of fun overall. We really should get a membership there, it’s such a cool place.

Oh, and my sister gets here tonight, so yay! Dave leaves for his trip to Seattle tomorrow morning – and yes, I am completely jealous that he’s going to Seattle without me, but I get to have my whole family here this weekend, so I guess that’s an ok trade-off.

throwing in the towel

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I think it has become obviously, painfully clear that Catie is not ready for potty training. The poor kiddo hasn’t pooped since Friday night. She started complaining about it on Monday, but last night and this morning, it’s devolved into a pretty much constant screaming that, “Poop!! Mommy, poop hurts! Mommy help!!” It’s breaking my heart, I cannot take it.

Last night we used one of those BabyLax things (liquid glycerine suppositories), which did essentially nothing. (She pooped out the liquid, but nothing else.) This morning I had to give her an enema, which is something I hope to never ever do again for the rest of my damn life.

So far, I have no idea if the enema worked, because she screamed so much before and during the process that by the time it was all over, she promptly fell asleep on the couch. Which is where she is now. I guess I’ll find out when she wakes up. I wish she could poop in her sleep, but somehow I doubt it.

Oh, and I have a migraine from the stress of dealing with a thoroughly miserable little girl. Happy times for us. I think my parents are starting to wish they’d stayed in Mississippi. And my dad is so upset from seeing his precious grandbaby in so much pain that he has promised to never say another word about Catie getting potty trained. Direct quote: “If she’s still in diapers when she’s 18, I’m not going to say another word about it.” I’m planning to hold him to that.

I’ve promised her that as soon as she poops, we’re going to take her to the Life & Science Museum, so she can see all the animals and we can ride on the choo-choo train. I fully intend to follow through on that promise too, I just hope she can come through on her side of the bargain.

She won't be wearing d1apers to h1gh school, right?*

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*I’m editing some key words in this post because I am really freaking sick of Google perverts finding this post. If you’re looking for “h1gh sch00l girls wearing d1apers,” go burn in hell, mmm-kay?

In case you didn’t know, p0tty training is hard. It’s possible my memory is fuzzy, but it feels about as labor-intensive as those first few weeks with a newborn, mainly because you have to be attending to your child every. single. minute. And apparently it’s just as exhausting for her as it is for us, as evidenced by the fact that she’s taken two naps a day since we started this process.

potty training, day 1
Day one, before the tears started.

We’ve basically gone cold-turkey with the d1apers. She’s been wearing big-girl p@nties, with Pull-Ups at naptime and bedtime. The problem is, I don’t think Catie has ever had a clue about when she needs to pee at all – that’s the burden of modern disposable diapers; they pull the moisture away so effectively that she’s never felt wet before – and feeling the pee run down her legs really upsets her. It might be partly that she’s embarassed, even though we do the whole “hey, it’s ok, you’re fine, let’s just clean it up and we’ll try to use the potty next time, ok?” thing. I think mostly, she just hates the sensation of that wet stuff on her legs. So she’s been trying to hold it, which makes her tummy hurt, which makes her cry more.

So that brings us to a problem. She’s now decided that she hates peeing. She certainly doesn’t want to pee on herself, but she also doesn’t want to pee in the p0tty or even in her Pull-Up (when she has one on). So Dave and I have been spending a lot of time sitting on the floor next to her, hugging her while she sits on the potty and cries because she’s afraid to pee. (To be clear, we’re not making her sit on the potty. I ask her if she wants to sit and she says ok, then she cries because she doesn’t want to pee. But she doesn’t try to get up, and it’s certainly not like we’re forcing her to sit there against her will. She’s equally distraught when she pees on the living room rug.) In fact, the only time that peeing doesn’t upset her is if she pees while she’s sitting on my lap. Nice, right? I guess my legs feel sort of soft and cushiony like a d1aper. Lovely. I went through at least five pairs of pants yesterday before I finally wised up to what she was doing. And yes, I did feel pretty heartless last night when she was begging to sit on my lap (so she could get comfortable and pee on me) and I said no. I told her she could sit on my lap after she peed in the potty, but that didn’t really work.

Oh, thinking of bribes: we’ve been reading to her while she’s on the p0tty, and letting her watch cartoons (the p0tty is currently in the living room; gross, I know, but I can’t fit it in our tiny half-bathroom anyway), and offering M&M’s for both attempts and actual success on the potty. One bribe that actually worked is that yesterday, her little friend McKenzie came to the door to see if Catie could play, and I said no because I knew Catie needed to pee. Catie was so upset when I closed the door on McKenzie, and I told her that if she could pee on the p0tty, we could go outside and play with McKenzie. She peed more in the p0tty than any other time to date, so that seems to be an effective motivator. And we did go play, for about half an hour, until Catie peed in the neighbor’s yard, started to cry, and we had to go back inside to clean her up and calm her down.

And on the issue of poop: this morning, she was crying, grabbing her tush and saying, “Poop! Mommy, poop hurts!” Now, she hasn’t pooped since Friday night, so I have no doubt that she probably really does need to poop, and it probably does hurt. But she doesn’t want to poop on the p0tty, she doesn’t want to put on a d1aper (believe me, I offered it, more than once), and she doesn’t want to poop in her Pull-Up. So…? I have no idea how to help her with that. I also don’t know if it’s the poop that’s hurting her, or if she’s feeling pressure in her tummy from trying to hold in her pee.

So to sum up, potty training sucks. My back hurts from all of those potty-vigil hugs and book-readings, and Catie has red splotches on her face from constant crying. It’s awful. I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I was to drop her off at daycare this morning, just to get a break from it. Nicole (our baby-sitter) has an almost-3 year-old who’s been potty-trained for a while, so I’m hopeful she’ll be able to help Catie make some progress. But I sent her to daycare with d1apers, Pull-Ups, panties, and about a half-dozen changes of clothes, and just told Nicole to do what she could. I’m not worried about her undoing anything, since it feels like we still have miles of progress to make before we get there.

My parents arrive tomorrow. Let’s all say a prayer that Mimi and Pop-Pop bring some sort of magic wand in their suitcase.

Potty Training 101

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I’ve decided that it’s time to start potty-training Catie, for a few reasons:
1. I recently got her this book, The New Potty by Gina and Mercer Mayer, and she adores it. We’ve been reading it at least twice a day, usually more.
2. She’s recently become fascinated with me going to the toilet. She sits on my lap while I go, she wants to help me flush, and she wants to wash her hands with me when I’m done. I’m guessing the fact that she’s showing interest is a good thing. [Speaking of which, one random bathroom anecdote that cracks me up to this day: a couple of weeks ago, she followed me in while I used the bathroom, helped me flush, watched carefully as everything went down, then waved bye-bye and said, “Bye, poops! See you later!” Um, let’s hope that we don’t actually see the poops later, ok sweetie? God.]
3. Last night she sat on her potty with no diaper for about 10 minutes while I read to her. She didn’t “produce” anything, but obviously she’s gotten past the stage of being scared to sit on the potty except when she’s fully dressed.
4. My parents are coming to visit next week. My dad keeps hassling me about “when are you gonna potty-train that child?” So hey, guess what, Dad? If you’re staying at my house, you can help! Lucky, lucky you!

This morning I asked on Twitter what supplies I need for potty-training. Then Catie and I went shopping. Here’s what the Internet recommended I get.

Potty Training Essentials

In case you can’t tell, here’s a rundown of what’s in that photo: a potty chair, a potty ring (it’s Dora, of course; I’m hoping that since Catie picked it out, that means she’ll be more likely to sit on it), a giant-ass tote bag to hold the potty ring when we go out (since my diaper bag isn’t going to cut it anymore), some big-girl panties, some Pull-Ups for nighttime, M&M’s to use as bribes, Lysol, Oxi-Clean, carpet cleaner, and Post-Its (to cover the auto-flush sensors in public restrooms so it doesn’t flush while she’s sitting & scare her to death). Oh, and that’s a bottle of Grey Goose vodka in front. I didn’t buy that today, though, that’s been in the freezer for a while. Still, I have a feeling that it’s going to be a vital part of this process.

Not pictured: the other two dozen pairs of big-girl panties that Catie has recently acquired. Laundry detergent. Towels. My mop. The extra potty chair that’s been in the upstairs bathroom for over 6 months. The books about using the potty. Elmo’s “Potty Time” DVD. Oh, and my sanity and patience, which will hopefully survive this process intact.

Is there anything else I’m missing that you think I need to have? Please let me know.

fun aunt Tracy

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My sister’s visit this weekend was so much fun. It was really cool that she was able to join us for the March for Babies on Saturday morning. That afternoon (post-naptime), she and I took Catie for a little walk, then came home, made dinner, watched “Wall-E” (Catie’s current favorite movie, plus Tracy hadn’t ever seen it), and vegged out for the night.

On Sunday, we went out for brunch with my cousin Cat and her family.

Elizabeth & Catie at brunch
I love watching Catie and Elizabeth interact with each other, they’re getting very good at sharing and taking turns, and it’s just really funny to see.

Cat & Elizabeth

Catie & me

After brunch, we went to Target where Tracy bought Catie a few toys and some clothes – you know, as aunts are wont to do. And after Catie’s nap, Tracy borrowed my bike, helmet, and trailer, and took Catie for a bike ride.

Catie going for a ride in the bike trailer

Tracy and Catie going for a bike ride

They had a blast, even though it made me nervous as hell to see them riding away. (I don’t know why, I guess because they were going to be crossing some busy streets to go to the park, and that’s my pweshus widdle bay-beee in that bike trailer.) But they came home safely, red-faced from the wind and totally happy. Catie even insisted on joining Tracy in the shower afterward. I think that Tracy and I are pretty much interchangeable as far as Catie is concerned.

Plus, you know, Tracy has all the cool jewelry that she lets Catie wear.

Catie modeling Tracy's jewelry

After dinner, we had to take Tracy to the airport so she could pick up her rental car and drive to Rocky Mount, where her business meeting is today. Catie cried when Tracy got out of the car and said goodbye, which of course made Tracy cry too. She’ll be back in a couple of weeks, but poor Catie has no real understanding of time yet, so that didn’t really help.

This morning, Catie asked a couple of times where Tracy was, and I had to remind her that Tracy went bye-bye. We had some tears and hugs about that, but hopefully she’ll be over it in a day or two.

I love that we’re so much closer to our families than we were in Seattle, but sometimes I do wish that all of Catie’s grandparents and everybody (two uncles and one aunt) lived locally so we could see them on a more regular basis. It’s so much fun to visit, and always so sad when they leave.

Raleigh March for Babies

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The March for Babies here in Raleigh was today. We had a pretty big team marching for Maddie.

Marching for Maddie
From left to right, that’s: me, Catie, Dave, my sister Tracy, (sitting) baby Austin, my cousin Cat, Elizabeth (in the stroller), Tony, and Megan. We’d never met Megan before today (if you’re reading this, hi Megan!), but she was super fun and a very good sport about us lagging behind with our slow toddlers and general foolishness. (We really are sort of a goofy bunch when you get us all together.)

purple manicure
That’s right, I painted my nails purple for Maddie. And I felt the need to document it with photographic evidence, since it happens so very rarely.

Tracy & Catie on the March for Babies

The walk was good. It was a little hot, but not as brutal as the weather forecast predicted. Also, no thunderstorms – that was the other thing on the forecast that had us worried. We felt a few random drops of rain here and there, but not even enough to call it a drizzle.

I told Elizabeth to smile

The kids had the most fun after the walk. There was a DJ playing all sorts of dance music at the finish line, so the kids (who had either ridden in strollers or been carried for the entire walk) needed a chance to burn off some energy.

my girl makes a run for the DJ booth
I got Catie the smallest Maddie t-shirt I could get, and I still had to knot it in the back so it wouldn’t look like a dress on her. The part that broke my heart was that when Catie saw the shirt this morning, she pointed at it and said, “Maddie!” She knows her face from being on my lap so many times when I’ve read Heather’s blog. I almost cried then, but I just said, “Yeah, baby, that’s Maddie.”

Throughout the day, she kept pointing at her own shirt, or mine or Dave’s, and screaming “Maddie! Purple!” Yeah, sweetie. You got it.

after the finish line

Elizabeth in her purple ballerina dress

After a while the toddler energy was contagious, and we all had to dance too.
Catie on Tracy's shoulders

Dave, Catie & me

And we had to snuggle on some babies.
Austin & his mommy

There was one guy who came over to us to ask about Maddie’s story, because he read her dates on our t-shirts. I told him, and he told us that he has 2 daughters, both of whom were born around 26 weeks. One of his daughters is now 8 years old and the other is about to turn 13. He thanks the March of Dimes for them being here and healthy today. Talking to him for just a couple of minutes was really moving.

Oh, and I believe that when you factor in the almost $200 that my cousin raised through bake sales at her office, our team raised a combined total of almost $1,000 for the March of Dimes. So that’s a pretty great day right there.