Author Archives: Cindy

the moods

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This has been the week of doctor’s appointments for me. I broke a tooth last week, so I had to get an emergency filling yesterday. Apparently there is some grain of truth to that saying about how a woman loses a tooth for every baby she has. I mean, for the love of all things holy, I broke the tooth on a bowl of cereal – how on earth is that even possible?

Then today, I had my six week follow-up appointment with my ob/gyn. She put me back on the birth control ring, although she warned me that it won’t be effective for two weeks, so we’d need to use a back-up method in the meantime. That statement made me laugh really hard.

Oh, and I now weigh 13 pounds less than I did when I first got pregnant. Don’t hate me for that – believe me, I’d trade a few pounds for a less miserable pregnancy any day. That was not what I’d call an ideal weight loss plan.

I didn’t talk to my doctor about my “baby blues” or whatever you want to call it. I suppose that maybe I should have, but I was afraid that she’d push the idea of meds, and I have a very ugly history with anti-depressants. I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about that, since almost all of this happened in college, so here’s the quick recap:

* Prozac – I don’t know how long I was on it, because I had blackouts when I was taking it. Or, not exactly blackouts, but I would get really sleepy, and I would have no recollection of whatever I said or did when I was in that state. I had a four-hour phone conversation with a friend in the middle of the night, and couldn’t remember it afterward. (He said that I didn’t make much sense, but I was really interesting.) I’d go to class and take notes, which were completely illegible, and I wouldn’t remember even attending the class. So, yeah. Not good.
* Zoloft – It sent me into rages where I’d throw and smash things. Again, not good.
* Paxil – I gained twenty pounds. In a month. No lie.

There are a couple of others which just had mildly unpleasant side effects, but those are the major standouts. So basically, I decided that yes, ok, my overall state of mind is not that great. I often have a little black cloud over my head (or at least, a pretty dark gray cloud). But I’m not having any thoughts about hurting myself or Cate, so I think I’m doing alright. I promise, if it doesn’t get better after I’m getting a decent amount of sleep, I will see someone about it. But for now, we’re just in survival mode, and hoping that it’ll pass soon.

Having thoughts about hurting Dave is a totally different issue, but c’mon. Tell me you wouldn’t feel the same way if your significant other slept nine solid hours and then told you how tired he was, when you were up with the baby for the 4th time that night? Yeah. He’s lucky I didn’t punch him.

baby cousins in video format

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I feel like I’m too brain-dead to write anything, my attention span is totally shot. Having Cat, Susie & e-baby here was great, because they did everything for me. They cooked, cleaned, vacuumed, and – most importantly – they took Cate off my hands when I was swinging at the end of my little rope.

But hey, I know y’all aren’t here to listen to me whine. Check out the cute babies!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSqOaloohbU 
Cate’s pink eye seems to be all better, thankfully. My mom pointed out that I’m probably the one who gave it to her, since I lick my fingers to get the crusties off her eyes. I’m feeling pretty horribly guilty about that, since I was under the impression that Mom Spit was the closest thing to holy water. Apparently I was mistaken. Fine, I’ll only use sterile cotton balls and warm tap water from now on.

The family left early this morning – it was pretty awesome to wake up and realize that the dishwasher had been loaded and run, there was clean laundry in the washer, and dinner was already prepared and waiting in the fridge. It was like the Housework Fairies visited while I was sleeping. Fantastic.  

Dave got home around lunchtime today, and I’m quite happy to have him home. Now if I can just get him to tidy up while I’m asleep, life will be grand. Well, that and Cate sleeping through the night. But I suppose it’s selfish to expect bliss like that, huh?

quick

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Not much time to write, but here’s a fast update:

* Cate has caught her first communicable disease: a (very mild) case of pink eye. So we get to put gloopy ointment stuff in her eyes for the next five days. And let me tell you, she is not a fan of this idea AT ALL.

* Dave is still in California. My mom flew home yesterday. Cat, Susie & e-baby are here, and we’re having a great time. 

* For more baby pictures, click on this:

I know, too much cuteness. Sorry about that.

And now, I’m off to shower and get to bed at a completely reasonable early hour. Crazy, huh?

fancy pants

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My mom arrived on Thursday, and having her around has been great. She and I have been taking shifts with the baby, so I’m feeling a bit more rested and sane – although I think Mom is suffering a bit, since she isn’t used to all of the sleep disruptions. Oh well, she gets to go home and sleep next week, so let’s not cry too much for her, shall we?

Yesterday, we went to my friend Janet’s baby shower – and in honor of the event, Cate got to try out a new outfit from her aunt Tracy that I’ve been dying to put on her. I just had to wait until she grew into it.

Is that not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen? I mean, the shoes are part of the design on the tights. God, I love that.

Tomorrow, Dave leaves for a conference in California, and Tuesday, my cousin, her mom (my aunt), and the Internet-famous e-baby arrive. I’m not thrilled at the idea of Dave being gone, but it should be a lot of fun to have the ladies all here. And I’m sure that Dave will probably be happy to miss the majority of their visit, since the household volume level will probably be set on “high” all week.

Btw, the rest of the Cate photos on Flickr can be found here.

a whole month

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Yesterday was Cate’s one-month birthday, and today was her one-month doctor’s appointment. She now weighs 8 pounds, 8 1/2 ounces. That’s almost three pounds in a month! I knew she had gained quite a bit, because she has a little bit of a tummy, and she’s starting to get some adorable little fat rolls on her thighs. I think she now looks more like a normal, healthy baby, as opposed to the frighteningly tiny creature that I gave birth to last month. She’s also a couple of inches taller. At her one week appointment, she was in the 5th-10th percentile for height and weight, and now she’s in the 25th-50th percentile for both. Which is just about perfect, if you ask me.

The rest of the visit was all good: she has excellent muscle tone, reflexes, she’s just generally fantastic. As for getting her to sleep longer, the pediatrician nixed the rice cereal idea, which didn’t surprise me. She said what some of y’all said, that it’s an old wives’ tale. She gave me a couple of ideas of things to try, like more white noise – we leave the fan in the bathroom running, and the Pack n’ Play is right outside our bathroom door, but that may not be enough. She also said that there’s nothing wrong with letting her fall asleep in the swing at this point (although after she’s two months old, we’ll need to rethink that). She also suggested giving her more formula at bedtime; as long as she doesn’t spit up, we don’t need to worry that we’re over-feeding her.

But for the most part, it sounds like this lack of sleep is just something I’m going to have to suffer through for the next couple of months, which sucks. I know everyone means well when they tell me that Cate will sleep through the night eventually, but it makes me crazy. Of course I know that she will, but that doesn’t help me right now. For the past week or so, I really have felt like I’m losing my mind. I cry over nothing, and I seem to have this little Black Cloud of Doom hanging over my head all the time. I honestly have no idea if it’s solely sleep deprivation or if maybe I’m developing some degree of post-partum depression, so I don’t know how to deal with it. Do I see a doctor about it now, or wait until I’m a little more rested to see if I feel more like my old self again? I can’t figure it out.

Oh, and I’m officially done with breastfeeding. I was starting to hate it – Cate was barely getting anything from me, and it felt like a waste of time. I’d nurse her whenever she seemed hungry (every 3 hours, usually), and by the time we finished, she’d be starving and screaming her head off. I talked about it with the pediatrician, who’s as much an advocate of breastfeeding as anyone, and even she agreed that it was probably time for me to stop. If my milk supply was ever going to increase, it would’ve happened weeks ago. I gave it my best shot for a month, and that’s got to be enough. I don’t feel guilty and sad about it like I did last time, so I think I’ve made my peace with the whole thing. I’m actually kind of proud of myself for hanging in there as long as I did. 

4 weeks

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I’ve been trying to think of something to write here for the past few days, but I’m drawing a blank, probably due to sleep deprivation. Here are some random bits:

* Cate is four weeks old today. Her one month checkup is next Wednesday, and I’m trying to remember to write down everything that I want to ask the pediatrician, because otherwise I think I’ll probably be so tired that I’ll just walk in and be all “errr… duh?”

* I met up with my friend Janet for lunch yesterday, just to get out of the house for a couple of hours. (Cabin fever is starting to get to me.) I took Cate along with me, and she was absolutely delightful. She didn’t fuss in her car seat, she slept while I ate lunch (imagine! A whole meal! With no interruptions!), and she cooed and was generally adorable afterward. Janet is 36 weeks pregnant, and I think the exposure to my completely charming baby girl made her feel a little less nervous about her own impending motherhood.

* Janet also recently took a class based on the book “The Happiest Baby on the Block.” She got the DVD with the class, and burned a copy of it for me. (Cat, I know you said you were going to mail it to me, but now you’re off the hook.) I didn’t think that very much of the DVD would apply to us, since Cate isn’t the type of baby to cry for no reason. I guess we’ve been blessed with an incredibly mellow child. But the author does promote the idea that his little techniques can help babies sleep longer, which sounded awesome. Cate wakes up hungry every three hours, and I’m so exhausted from the constant sleep interruptions that I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Well, I watched the DVD, and now I can say with absolute authority: suck it, Dr. Karp. I did all of his little techniques to get Cate to sleep longer, and she still woke up hungry every three hours. Hmph.

One of my cousins (on my dad’s side – no relation to anyone who reads this site) suggested that I slip a little rice cereal in with Cate’s formula in her nighttime bottle to get her to sleep longer. For any of you moms who bottle-fed your babies: is that normal? It’s not something I had ever heard of. But I’m going to ask the pediatrician if that’s something we can try, because the idea of getting a solid four or five stretch of sleep sounds like absolute heaven.

* Back to that whole cabin fever thing: remember that I joined a book club a few months ago? Even though I haven’t read a single book or been to any of the meetings yet? Well, they’re meeting tonight, and I don’t even know what this month’s book selection is, but I think I might go anyway, just to get out for a little while. Besides, they’re meeting at Whole Foods, and picking up some organic mac n’ cheese while I’m there sounds pretty good.