This past weekend, my mom took Catie to Charlotte to visit with my brother and sister. Seeing as how my siblings are two of Catie’s favorite people on the planet (and my sister’s best friend was there too, who Catie also adores), we thought this sounded like something she’d enjoy. And she did, for the most part. They took her to a children’s museum, she got to meet my sister’s new kitten, and she was generally indulged in ways that would never happen if I was around (like being allowed to stay up WAY past her bedtime, eat junk food, etc.). Sounds like heaven for a four year-old, right?
But she also had a lot of meltdowns, in which she cried that she missed Mommy and Lucy. On the trip back home, she told my mom in the car that she never, ever wanted to go on a trip again.
Last night, when I was snuggling with her at bedtime, I said, “So, you had a lot of fun this weekend, didn’t you?”
She quietly said, “Not really.”
I said, “No? Why not?”
She said, “Because I missed you.” And burst into tears.
It got me thinking that even though she was around people she loves and doing fun stuff, it was probably too soon for her to be on an overnight trip away without me. I think she still feels like the ground is shifting underneath her after the separation, and it’s already hard on her to be away from Dave, so being away from me too was just too much for her. I feel bad that it didn’t even occur to me to consider that, before we planned this trip for her.
To help calm her down, I told her that no matter where she goes, she’ll always come home to me, and that I’ll always be here waiting for her.
And I said that maybe, in a few months, when Lucy is a little bit bigger and sleeping through the night, then we can all go to Charlotte together, and she wouldn’t miss me or Lucy, because we’d be there with her. She seemed to like that idea.
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On the other hand, Lucy and I had a pretty fabulous weekend. Compared to the usual craziness of having two kids in the house, having just one little baby to deal with felt like a breeze. (There’s the difference between kids #1 and #2 – with Catie, I was terrified to be left alone with the baby. Now, I’m like, “Just one baby? Pshaw!”)
Also, you know what’s great about only having a tiny baby in the house? You can watch R-rated movies and not worry about traumatizing them! I finally caught up on a few movies that have been sitting on my DVR for ages, which was great.
[Side note to George Clooney: I love you, but “The American” sucked. All scenes in which you were shirtless = WINNER. Everything else? Not so much.]
But it was a really nice weekend with my baby girl. We went to Target and Whole Foods, we went for a walk around the neighborhood, we experimented with solid food (she seems to like baby oatmeal), and we played. All in all, a very good weekend.
(Check out the hand placement there. Nice one, kiddo.)
The good news is that Catie was able to tell you what was bothering her, not keep it all bottled up inside. There is no way you could have anticipated that she would be bothered by being away from you.
I’m glad you had a fun, somewhat relaxing weekend. You totally deserve it.
Glad your weekend was good. It may have been too soon for an away from you weekend for Catie, but I’m sure as time passes it will be easier and a time that she will enjoy and look forward to.
Give her hugs from me!!
She might have felt the same way even without the separation going on. A kid’s first overnight away from mommy in a long time is always hard. If your mom took her again in 2 weeks, I bet she’d roll with it. Not that I’m suggesting that– I just think any kid has a hard time away from their parents for the weekend if it isn’t something they’re used to. No guilt, mama!
Popping in to say that I think you are doing a tremendous job with Catie through this, being so sensitive and attentive to and careful with her sweet tender little feelings.
And also that you look beautiful and relaxed and rested and content in the photo. Hang in there.