1. We headed back to the pediatrician today so the doctor could check to make sure Cate’s lungs are all clear. She also got a flu shot, which was no fun. I still really like this new pediatrician, although man alive, I am tired of doctor’s offices.
Oh, when the doctor checked her throat, he said, “Man, she has all kinds of teeth coming in back there.” Kind of nice to have official confirmation of what I’ve been suspecting. The dreaded molars are on their way.
2. On our way out of the pediatrician’s, we ran into Kimberly, my across the street neighbor who recommended this group of pediatricians to me. Her little girl Morgan (the one whose birthday party we went to last weekend) was there for her 12-month checkup. We chatted for a while in the parking lot and finally exchanged emails and phone numbers. She invited Cate and me to a mommy playgroup thing next week, so that should be fun. She seems really nice and I always find it really easy to chat with her, but I’m such a dork that I sort of have to hold myself back from grabbing her and asking her if she’ll be my new BFF. Apparently this whole stay-at-home mom gig has been a little more isolating than I thought it would be. Man, I need a job.
3. I lost my keys for an entire week, and couldn’t find them anywhere. I knew they were in the house because I remembered that the last time I had used them was to unlock the front door. Beyond that, though, I had no idea where they were. It was driving me insane – I had my extra car key, but no house keys. Yesterday, I was cleaning the house and finally found them. We have a big overstuffed chair in our living room (this one), and it was underneath the cushion. Hmm, I wonder what little blonde toddler thought to hide them there. Gah. Dave and I seriously have to put beepers on our keys so we can find them when she stashes them (or when we misplace them, which happens all. the. damn. time.).
4. On Saturday, two of my friends from college are getting married, and I’m so excited and happy for them. Kris and her fiance Tony are flying in for the weekend, so she and I are going to meet up for breakfast tomorrow. Dave will be working from home, and I’m leaving Cate with him, so Kris and I can have some one-on-one time without trying to wrangle a toddler in a restaurant.
Btw, does anyone know the appropriate attire for a lesbian wedding? Or “commitment ceremony” or whatever you want to call it since the stupid state won’t recognize their union? I’m assuming I just wear the same thing I’d wear to a regular ol’ hetero wedding, but if I’m about to make a huge fashion blunder, I’d appreciate a heads-up. My plan is to wear my faithful long black skirt (the one with the stretchy elastic waist that doesn’t mind if I gain or lose ten pounds) and a cute top. The wedding is in the early afternoon, so that’s probably ok, yes?
However, I do have to do something about my feet before this wedding, because I haven’t had a pedicure since Linda’s wedding back in July. Yikes. If I can find a good color nail polish already in the house (which is dependent on whether I can find the box of make-up that I almost never use), I might try to tackle my toes myself. Otherwise, I might have to drop the $20 to have them professionally done. We’ll see.
I think that outfit sounds fine. I think whatever you wear to another “nice” event will be fine. I hope you take pictures!
Robert’s keys and my favorite sunglasses went missing for over a week. At some point, Emily pulled out her little plastic Backpack (the actual character Backpack, from Dora) and said, “it has all my stuff in it.” What stuff, you ask? HER DAD’S KEYS AND MY SHADES. Little stinker.
If the invitation says “commitment ceremony” on it, as in, “Jane Doe and Janine Eod” (Doe backwards, get it? get it? Heh) “request the pleasure of your company as they join hearts and lives in a commitment ceremony at A Venue Near Here on Some Day Real Soon, 2008” then call it a commitment ceremony. Otherwise, call it a wedding.
As for the legality issue, same-sex ceremonies in Massachusetts are pretty much always called weddings and marriages, whereas the one I was at in West Virginia was interchangeably called a commitment ceremony and a wedding, sometimes in the same sentence.
When in doubt, follow the couple’s lead. One of the most beautiful things about the advent of gay marriage and the public recognition of same-sex relationships is that people are making up their own rules according to what feels right to them.
My college roommate and her wife both decided to take Jill’s mom’s maiden name as their surname instead of hyphenating Doe-Eod and Eod-Doe. Two women in love raising a family might be called “Mama and Mommy” or “Mommy Joanie and Mommy Sue” or “Mama and Baba” by their kids.
Baba- a word that means Dad or Daddy in a several languages around the world- tends to be favored by female parents whose gender expression leans more to the masculine side of the continuum. LD, who writes the blog Lesbian Dad, is a Baba; her writing is so beautiful it will make you cry.
You kind of can’t get it wrong as long as you’re there with best wishes and loving acceptance. Cindy, you probably know this, but for anyone else who’s not sure, the only thing you SHOULDN’T say is, “So which one of you is the man in the relationship?” to a lesbian couple, or “Which one of you is the woman?” to two gay men. The answer is “Uh, neither, that’s what makes us a GAY couple.”
Regarding attire, take the same cues from the style of the invitation, time of day, and location of ceremony (church is different from beach, etc) that you would at a hetero wedding. Have fun!
Angie: wow. That was quite thorough for a question about what to wear. 🙂 For what it’s worth, two of my mom’s six siblings are gay, so I know not to ask any intrusive questions about their relationship. I would never do that in a million years.
I don’t know what they’re doing about last names, or how they’ll deal with the Mama/Mommy issue if and when they decide to have kids. I’m treating that sort of like I do with my hetero friends: I don’t ask my female friends if they’re changing their last name (I typically just assume they’re keeping their name unless they state otherwise), and I don’t do the pushy grandmother “so when are you going to have bay-beees?!” thing. I figure it’s not really my business, and it bugs the crap out of me when people ask me when we’re having another baby (answer: not anytime soon!), so I try to never do that to anyone else.
The commitment ceremony (per the invitation’s wording) is at a restaurant at 1:30 in the afternoon. So I’m thinking my black skirt/cute top combo is probably fine.
I’ve always dressed the same for gay weddings/commitment ceremonies/c-u’s I’ve been to as hetero weddings. Evening, formal; daytime, more casual. Don’t wear white unless requested to do so in the invitation. Wear comfy shoes. That’s about it. 🙂
Sorry, I read your original entry wrong. I thought you were asking if you should refer to it as a commitment ceremony or a wedding since the state doesn’t recognize it. I see now your question mark was more of a way of expressing your tone, not actually asking what you should call it. *oops* (blushing)
And I know you know. Like I said, I was putting out there for other people.
Please give the couple our best wishes for a lifetime of happiness! Your outfit sounds just right– it can be seen as dressier or less-dressy depending on the context and what others are wearing, so you should be fine. I was going to say rethink open-toed shoes just in case, but with a 1:30 ceremony at a restaurant, you should be fine. Although it is cool October, so I’d avoid something that can only be called sandals.