still not good, but better

I think I’ve at least somewhat recovered from my little meltdown yesterday. We still don’t have power, but I’m not feeling quite as fragile and on the verge of tears about everything today. Just so I’m not terminally whiny, here’s some good news:

* The hospital tour is over. I don’t know why I thought it would help alleviate some of my anxiety about childbirth, because being in one of those birthing suites only made me feel like I was going to faint. (It’s a very nice hospital, but still, it’s just the idea of what I’ll be doing there that scares me.) Maybe it’ll help when the time comes, to know what everything will look like when I arrive at the hospital in labor, and it won’t all be so new and foreign. But for now, seeing the room and realizing that I’m going to be using it in about a month or so honestly just scared the crap out of me. I’m not sure that I’d recommend it to a first-time mom.

* The ultrasound today was good, and I’m really looking forward to getting our power back so I can scan the photos. Baby Girl is in the 45th percentile for size and weight, which is good. As my doctor pointed out, I really don’t want to give birth to a 12-pound baby, so not being in the 90th percentile is just fine and dandy. I’ll take that average size measurement without complaint.

Also? Baby Girl has got a serious kisser on her. Dave and I both have pretty full lips, so I’m not sure whose DNA that is, but it looks like we’re going to have a little Angelina Jolie on our hands. Dave says we could just stick her to the windshield and let her lips act as a suction cup. Maybe we’ll just tell people that we had the pediatrician give her collagen injections. Hee.

* When we got back from the doctor’s office, and I felt like I had been run over by a steam roller and had to lie down for an hour? My wonderful, darling, amazing husband tidied up the kitchen and living room for me.

I don’t know if I’ve sufficiently given Dave credit for how awesome he’s been during this past week, but seriously, he has rocked the house in a big way. I’m not used to feeling so feeble and weak all the time, and it’s not easy for me to admit it when I physically can’t do something. (Especially when it’s something easy that I should be able to do, like drive two miles down the street to pick up sandwiches for lunch.) He’s just taken over and made this all so much easier on me, and I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for it.

* My family is booked at a hotel for both Friday and Saturday nights, and my sister is renting a car, which will save me a whole lot of headaches. (Like the 25-mile trip to the airport, for example, which I was going to have to do twice on Friday. As she has done so many times in the past, my sister has saved my butt yet again.) I’m hoping that we’ll have our power back soon, so we can have the whole family here on Christmas Eve (Sunday), but we’ll do what we have to do.

My family is another one that deserves a big shout-out, because they’ve all been so understanding of how emotional I’ve been feeling lately, and they haven’t complained once about the last-minute adjustment to their holiday plans, or how it’s going to suck that they have to pay for a hotel in addition to all of their other travel expenses, or any of that. (Well, my dad might gripe about the hotel. But my mom has already assured me that if he says one word about it, they will all jump down his throat before his words ever reach my delicate little ears.)

* I was able to take a hot shower last night. Yes, the water was brownish – not that I could tell since the only light in the bathroom was candlelight. (Trust me, it’s not nearly as sexy and romantic as it sounds.) But it’s funny how something as simple as being able to attend to your personal hygiene can make the world feel like a nicer place.

* I read online today that the next town over from us (Carnation: home of the milk of the same name, for those of you who like random bits of trivia) got their power back yesterday. That means it’s getting closer and closer. I’m hoping, praying, crossing my fingers, and making wishes on pennies/stars/whatever I can find that we’ll get ours tomorrow. You guys all do the same for me, ok?

5 thoughts on “still not good, but better

  1. Oh, man. Can I tell you how much I wish I could parachute onto your front lawn with replacement dinners for all the food that was in the freezer? Because that’s what women do where I was raised. It’s like some sort of Morse code or Bat signal style instinct, like “What? A friend/neighbor is in a bind? That woman needs casseroles! GO! GO! GO!” And my mom and her best friend and I would don our aviator glasses and leap from the plane bearing green bean casserole with fried onion thingies, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. Then my mom would try to clean your baseboards.

    Anyway, I keep thinking about my four days this summer on the kitchen floor with the Gatorade and the single fan run by the landlords generator and no indiciation of power restoration any time soon. What a mindfuck, and I definitely wasn’t growing somebody else’s lungs at the time. I guess all I’m saying is… Let people take care of you. Feel cherished by Dave. My big sister gets all “big sisterly” for me, too, when stuff like this happens. Take things one hour at a time. Hang in there.

  2. Well actually, all of the baseboards are brand new (part of that big construction project we did a couple of months ago), so they’re pretty much already spotless. That’s one thing that I have under control.

    The toilets, however? With the brown water? That is seriously gross. Going after the bathrooms with some major Lysol action has become the first thing on my to-do list after the lights come back on and we get our normal water back.

  3. aww. . . i’m just catching up on all this (not that i didn’t already know what was up, of course). it’ll be fine. it’ll be a story you can tell little lips-girl when she’s older about the christmas you were preggers with her, just before she came. she’ll love it.

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