is it over yet?

I am stressed. Really stressed. This whole loan thing is making me crazy. I won’t get into the details because it’s probably boring to people who aren’t directly affected by it, but let’s just say that it reminds me of a quote from one of my college buddies: “Money is like toilet paper. It only matters when you don’t have any.” And right now, folks, we are fresh out of t.p., and it is a BIG, BIG deal. So let’s sum up how I’m coping with this:

1. I’ve had a headache nearly every day for the past 2 weeks.
2. I’m taking over-the-counter sleep aids to get to sleep at night, otherwise I lie awake, twitching and worrying.
3. Since I’m sleeping pretty horribly lately, on Friday night I came home from work and immediately crawled into bed. It was around 5:00. I told Dave to wake me up after an hour, but he didn’t. I woke myself up around 8:30 p.m. I had dinner, went back to bed, and slept until 11:00 a.m. on Saturday.
4. I spent most of the day Saturday cleaning, which is how I often deal with stress. There’s something that happens to me when I feel like my life is out of my control, so I start taking charge of the things I can control – namely, how clean my kitchen is. I ended up cleaning the entire downstairs. It felt pretty good to get that done, too.
5. I spent all day Sunday in bed. Call it hiding, I guess. Dave stayed there with me. He played video games on his laptop, I watched movies. I went downstairs long enough to do one load of laundry, but otherwise, we stayed in our room. I even brought our dinner (re-heated pizza – yow, what a gourmet chef I am!) upstairs on a tray for us to eat in bed. Crazy.

Then last night, I got home from work, and I was so frazzled that I felt like I could explode at any minute. Every nerve ending was on edge. So I grabbed my iPod and I went for a walk. And it was strange – just that 30 minutes of alone time (just me & my “workout tunes” playlist), and I felt so much calmer when I got home. No more headache. Go figure. Maybe it was because I stopped to pet the neighbor’s goats, and they always make me smile because they’re so darn cute, and I love that little “neeeeh” sound they make when they see me approaching. Maybe it’s because Madonna’s Ray of Light album has a calming influence on me. More than likely, I think it’s just a sign that I need to get more exercise. So I’m going to try to work on that.

6 thoughts on “is it over yet?

  1. Walking is great stress buster. I have been worried about my $$$ with taxes due. It was the only thing on my mind for weeks. I started walking everyday for two weeks now. My jeans fit looose now . It has been great to connect with nature again. Everything coming alive, little fur babies running around. We even have a mother goose sitting on her eggs at my office. I walk to music also. I just love my little mini pod! Hang in there.

  2. I wish you lived closer so I could take you out for margaritas. Or I wish you lived in washington DC as opposed to washington state so we could go out for swirly margaritas. MMMMM…

  3. Walking and Margaritas: the 2 great stress-busters. Ooh, here's an idea— you should walk to a bar, have a margarita, and walk home again! And have another margarita at home. But, seriously, you know what I think. Exercise cures all that ails you. The more frazzled you are, the louder you turn that iPod volume up! And repeat the mantra: "this too shall pass" 🙂

  4. I know it's probably futile to mention anything yoga-ish, but standing on one's head is great for stress reduction too. Anything that requires a person to focus on breathing will also quickly reduce emotional wobbliness.

  5. While I'm sure it has its usefulness, I would tend to think that standing on one's head is probably not the best way to get rid of a headache. And at the moment, getting rid of the pounding behind my left eye is a much bigger priority. And Cat, I'd love to walk to the bar & then walk home, but now that we live in the boonies, the round trip would take me 3 days! 🙂

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