not sure if horses apply to standard DUI laws

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Saturday night, I left the baby with Dave and met up with Cara for dinner and drinks. (And dessert. Way too many calories, but oh so yummy.) I don’t think we’d ever hung out together without our respective significant others, so that was very cool to have some girl time and talk about all the stuff we can’t write about on our blogs. In my case, this meant getting to freely use the f-word, which I try never to do here because my dad knows that this website exists, and oh lord I do not need that phone call.

And it was very sweet of Cara to not cancel on me, since Scott’s grandmother had just died and they were going to be taking a flight out of Seattle about 4 hours after she and I met up. I would’ve totally canceled if it had been me, but I’m a wuss like that. Anyway, it was great fun and nice to have some baby-free time.

True story that is totally unrelated to anything: recently when Cate and I were out for one of our evening walks, we ran into two of our neighbors, who were out riding their horses. This isn’t a rare occurrence; so many people around here have horses, to see them trekking up and down the street with the regular traffic isn’t at all unusual.

Anyway, they stopped to say hi to the baby and to let Cate get all excited about seeing the horses up close. (She did her happy foot-kick for them.) They were very friendly and nice, but I noticed that both ladies had a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. They would alternate which hand was holding the horse’s reins depending on what they needed to accomplish. Horseback riding, smoking a Marlboro, and swigging a bottle of Corona? Wow. That is multi-tasking at its finest right there.

When we got home, I told Dave that this is another reason we need to move. I am clearly not nearly bad-ass enough to hang with the women of Duvall. And you know what? I am totally okay with that fact.

got stress?

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I’m not sure what’s going on with me lately, I just have this general feeling of anxiety that I can’t seem to shake. I think it’s because there’s a lot of stuff happening that’s in a weird transition phase, and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. For example:

* My job will be starting sometime in the near future. I’m still not sure of my exact start date, which is annoying, but I’m more worried about the fact that I’ve been out of the work force for almost a year(!), and oh man, what if I’ve forgotten every blessed thing I ever knew about technology in the meantime?

* Cate will be starting daycare when I start working again. I found a wonderful woman who has an in-home daycare just a couple of miles from my house. I instantly clicked with her and just felt very comfortable with the idea of Cate staying with her, and her references were outstanding. But I also worry because Cate is at the peak of this separation anxiety phase, and I’m concerned about how hard it’s going to be when I have to leave her there. (And I mean that for all 3 of us – Cate, me and Patsy the daycare lady.)

* We’re actively working on getting our house ready to sell next year, with no real idea of where we’re going after that. I like to plan things in advance (Dave would say that I plan compulsively), so the fact that we have no Step B to follow our Step A is really stressing me out. We most likely won’t be staying in Washington, which makes me sad because I’m going to really miss my friends here, and I’m worried about how hard it’ll be to find a new group of friends wherever we go. Obviously, if we end up in North Carolina, I have a built-in support system already there, but it’s not the only possibility on the roster, and I’m a little unsure of how I feel about the other options.

So. There’s that. If you’re wondering why I’m not blogging as much lately, it’s because it takes away from my precious hand-wringing time. I’d like to start drinking again, but then I get all jittery about carrying Cate (especially up and down the stairs), so I don’t think that’s a very good solution. Rats.

naptime nightmare

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Yesterday, one of my mommy anxieties came true: Cate rolled off of our bed.

We were about to take a mid-morning nap together, so I was sitting on the bed right next to her. She was at least a foot from the edge of the bed, and I turned away to grab her bib and burp cloth. I took my eyes off of her for maybe 3 seconds, and in that time, she did a full 360-degree roll. I turned around just in time to see her fall – I lunged to catch her and missed. She landed like a starfish, arms and legs out, flat on her little face.

Dave was downstairs and heard me scream, then a thump, and then Cate start to wail, so he came up to see what happened. She was fine – it scared her, of course, and I’m sure it hurt, but she didn’t even have so much as a bloody nose. Thank God.

After I got her calmed down, the adrenaline wore off and the nausea kicked in. If it weren’t for my gastric bypassed stomach, I’m pretty sure I would’ve thrown up. (As it is, it’s almost impossible for me to barf.) Instead, we lay down together and she fell asleep on her side facing me, clinging to my chest like a baby koala. She never sleeps like that, so it broke my heart even more, and I lay there with her and cried.

She seems to have forgotten the whole thing already, I just wish I could stop feeling guilty about it. I know this type of thing happens with almost every baby, but then I think about how we all have that nightmare that we’re falling from some great height, and I wonder if these types of events when we’re babies are what put those thoughts in our subconscious. So the idea that I might’ve damaged her tiny little psyche is just killing me. Ridiculous, I know, but that Mommy Guilt is a whopper.

sour grapes, anyone?

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Cate said “dada” for the first time yesterday. And she hasn’t stopped saying it all day today. I suppose it doesn’t really count because she hasn’t said it with intent, she’s just babbling and most of time it’s more like “dadadadadada.” She isn’t addressing Dave directly or anything.

She also said “die-die-die-die” a few times, and I told Dave that’s his fault for letting her hang out in the room when he’s watching horror movies. (Totally kidding. Again, she doesn’t know what it means, she’s just making sounds.)

I know lots of babies say dada first because the D sound is easier to pronounce. And particularly in Cate’s case, since she always has her tongue stuck out, she hasn’t figured out the M sound yet. She’s good at all of her vowel sounds, but only a few consonants so far – B, G, H, N, Y and now D. Earlier tonight I thought I heard a T as well, but I’m not sure. Still, kid needs to work on that M sound. Mama needs some reward for all this work I’m putting in. Hmph.

if you need me, I'll be watching the Style network

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Hey look, another video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNkY78_c7Ow

This one shows Cate’s backwards-crawling technique. And you get to hear her little rattle that makes noise every time you touch it, which I haaaate. Sometimes it’ll start up when no one is touching it at all, which makes me think it needs an exorcism. Creepy.

I mostly film these for the grandparents, but if any of you are interested, you can go here and see two more videos that I made the same day.

This is totally random and has nothing to do with anything, but have any of you ever seen the show “Clean House” on the Style Network? It’s been on for a few years, but I’ve only recently discovered it, and I’m hooked. I think part of it is Niecy Nash (from Reno 911), who I think is hilarious. But I also have this obsession with seeing the insides of people’s houses – that’s why I always look at real estate websites, regardless of whether or not I’m actually thinking about moving. In the case of the websites, I get ideas for decorating my house. With “Clean House,” though, it makes me feel better about how messy my own house is. And it’s fun to feel superior to people who are obviously insane for the amount of crap that they collect. (Who needs 150 sets of salt & pepper shakers? WHO?!?!!)

That show has also gotten me thinking about all of the excess clutter in our house, and I’m suddenly feeling very motivated to have a yard sale and get rid of a lot of our junk. I hope to be able to do that as soon as we get our driveway fixed later this month. Even though we aren’t 100% sure where we’re moving next year, we know we’re definitely selling this house, so it needs to be… well, a lot emptier than it is now. My understanding is that the emptier it is, the bigger it will look, and the easier it’ll be to sell. I hope. Because man, y’all have no idea how ready I am to be out of the boonies.

things that are making me angry right now

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1. The auto-scooping litter box in my office (a whole other room, people!) got stuck and started making a horrible screeching noise at 4:30 in the morning, forcing me to get out of bed and go fix it.

2. After fixing it, and doing the requisite trip to the bathroom, I lay in bed for over an hour, unable to fall asleep again.

3. I am now cleaning my house, because I cannot sleep and I cannot think of anything better to do.

This does not bode well for a happy day.

more and more baby stuff

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In honor of Cate’s 7-month birthday, she got her very first haircut. Which was actually more of a single snip – she had this one long piece of her bangs that kept falling into her eyes, so I trimmed it.


I was trying to even it up with all of her new hair that’s growing in, but I may have made it a little too short. Dave says she looks sort of like one of those kids in “Village of the Damned.” I think she looks cute. If she starts singing creepy children’s songs or jumping rope in slow-motion, I’ll worry. Until then, I think we’re ok.

Also, since the Stroller of DOOM! has been officially retired, my folks bought us a new one. It is so awesome, and was such a relief for my back since I finally had a break from toting her around on me for our daily walk.


I know you can’t tell that she was having fun, but she was. While we were out, we met one of our neighbors who was out for a walk with her 9 month-old, and who was very nice, but she (the neighbor, not the baby) had dreadlocks and was wearing army pants, so I think she might be too cool for me to hang out with. I’d feel like a big corporate nerd around her. I mean, come on, I don’t even buy the chlorine-free diapers at Whole Foods.

Oh, and thanks to Danielle for the tip on how to flip a video. I’ve re-posted my sister’s home movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJZwUeE8kUA

Man, I need to get some videos of this child doing something other than bouncing in her jumperoo. It’s just that I can’t hold her and videotape her at the same time, and the jumperoo seems to be the only place I can set her down and she doesn’t scream. I will figure out another movie idea soon, though. Promise.