overreaction

Catie’s had a cold since our camping trip last weekend. At first it was just an endlessly drippy nose, but yesterday her asthma started to flare up. I didn’t think too much of it right away, because it didn’t seem that bad. When she had an asthma crisis back in December, I knew something was wrong because she was lethargic and obviously miserable. She would only moan and cry when she woke up, then go back to sleep. But with this current cold, she’s generally been pretty cheerful and acting like her normal self. I mean, yes, she’s been wheezing a little bit off & on, but she’s also singing, laughing, and narrating little stories that her toys act out. So we were giving her albuterol & pulmicort in the nebulizer – the way we normally treat her asthma – but I wasn’t that worried.

This morning, Dave got up with Catie to let me sleep in a little longer. (Love it when he does that.) A while later, he brought her upstairs to bed, and she snuggled in next to me. I was spooning her with my hand on her chest, and I could feel how rapid her breathing was, and how fast her heart was pounding. I told Dave we needed to give her some albuterol, and he said he had just done it a few minutes ago. I promptly freaked out and called the pediatrician. They told us to come straight in, which we did.

I think the words “asthma attack” have some sort of magical power on pediatricians. They were waiting for us when we got there, and brought us straight back to a room. The doctor came in immediately. They tried to get a pulse ox on Catie’s finger, but she wasn’t having it (oh, the shrieking), and they couldn’t get an accurate reading from her big toe. We finally got her to calm down enough that the doctor could listen to her chest with the stethoscope.

Not our usual pediatrician: Um, her lungs are clear.
Me: But she’s been wheezing since yesterday!
NOOP: When was her last albuterol treatment?
Me: About 45 minutes ago.
NOOP: Well, it’s clearly working because she sounds fine now.
Me: But she’s breathing so fast! And her heart is pounding!
NOOP: Well, albuterol does accelerate the heart rate…
Me: Um… it does? [Feel REALLY stupid for not knowing that.]
NOOP: Her airways are definitely open, she’s not in respiratory distress at all. I think the worst of the cold has probably passed, so just keep doing what you’re doing with the nebulizer and you should be able to wean her off the albuterol by Friday.
Me: Oh. OK.
~Fin~

I’ll be honest, I think part of the reason why I reacted so strongly was because I was thinking about Maddie. When I was lying in bed with Catie and I felt how fast and hard she was breathing, it scared the wits out of me. Before two weeks ago, it never once entered my mind that a child could ever just stop breathing.

I know that Maddie is an exceptionally rare case, I know the odds of anything like that happening to Catie are very remote. And yes, of course it has always been frightening to hear my little girl struggling to breathe, and it always will be. I just don’t know if or when this particular type of intense fear-that-the-worst-could-happen will subside. Am I overreacting? Very likely. But how can I not, when we’ve seen proof that sometimes the worst does happen, for no damn reason?

Seriously, how do you not overreact?

Baby's (and Mommy's) first camping trip

Those of you who know me, know that I am not an outdoorsy type of girl. I freak out when I see a bug, I have horrible seasonal allergies, and I’m not a big fan of being out in the elements if it’s too hot or too cold or even remotely unpleasant. I’m a big wuss, basically.

In light of that, I’m not quite sure why I agreed to go camping this past weekend. I guess because it’s becoming Dave’s latest hobby, and I’d like to be included in it. Plus, springtime means the weather is nice and moderate. And Dave told me that the campsites have electricity, water, and a building with toilets and showers, so it’s not like I’d have to pee in the bushes or anything. Heck, some of the campsites now offer wi-fi. So it seemed like something that I could handle. Maybe.

Let the record show: I’ve never slept in a tent in my life. I mean, sure there was once at a slumber party that we set up a tent in the neighbor girl’s backyard, but I was back inside the house with my sleeping bag on the floor of the playroom before midnight. My family took “camping” trips when I was a kid where we’d go hiking in state parks, but we stayed in motels or cabins. And honestly, all I remember of those trips is blistering heat (summer in the South, not the best time to plan an outdoor vacation) and feeling like I was dying of thirst (since this was before people carried bottled water with them, so there was nothing to drink until we stopped for lunch or dinner).

Mostly, I remember the fighting. There was always lots of fighting. I hated those trips. But like so many other things, I thought that this might be an opportunity to do something for Catie that’s completely different than my own childhood. Turning my bad memories into happy ones, something like that.

So we set off for Asheboro, North Carolina, and set up camp at the Deep River Campground. It was very pretty.

view from our campsite

Check out our fancy-pants accomodations.

our accomodations

I know you’re jealous.

It made me nervous to be camping right by the lake, since Catie doesn’t always seem to understand that she can’t jump into any body of water like it’s her own personal bathtub. But we told her that it was ok for her to throw rocks and twigs into the lake, but she absolutely could not go in there, and she seemed to get it. Still, we had our eyes on her pretty much constantly.

Catie by the lake

And really? The camping was not so bad. Only two complaints:
1) The bathrooms were gross. Really gross. I sort of wish I’d taken pictures so I could prove my case, but I didn’t think of it until later. But I quickly decided that since we were only going to be there one night, I’d be ok with just skipping the whole shower thing until we got home, thank you very much.
2) Sleeping in a tent actually sucked worse than I thought it would. It dropped down into the 50’s that night, which is pretty darn cold when you’re basically outside. We got a sleeping bag for me before this trip, but the zipper wouldn’t come more than halfway up, so my legs were sweaty and my upper half was freezing. And poor Catie was miserable. She started crying from being so cold around 3 a.m., and it took almost 2 hours to get her settled back to sleep. She woke up in a pretty good mood, though.

SERIOUS case of bed-head

She also woke up with a horrendous drippy, snotty nose, which I’m hoping is just a reaction to sleeping outside during the peak of pollen season, and not the onset of a full-blown cold. Especially since her asthma tends to make colds about ten times worse than the average kid’s.

Since we were in Asheboro, we decided to stop by the North Carolina Zoo on Sunday, to wear Catie out in the hopes that she’d sleep the whole drive home. We’d never been to the NC Zoo before, it’s really beautiful. We only hit the Africa exhibit, since we knew that’s where the animals Catie likes would be (elephants, zebras, giraffes, monkeys, etc.), and I think we made the right call. She had a great time.

Catie & me with the zebra

Dave & Catie on the elephant statue

Catie playing in the display helicopter

Catie & me on the carousel

Oh, and the plan to exhaust her so she’d sleep on the way home? Worked like a charm. Easiest road trip with a toddler ever.

Here are the rest of the pics from our camping and zoo trip. Overall, it wasn’t horrible and I might go camping again. But I think I have to exchange this stupid defective sleeping bag that I got, and maybe wait until it’s a little warmer. Generally, though, I think I’d prefer to rent a cabin. Even a really rustic cabin would be ok – as long as there are walls to shield us from the wind. And an attached bathroom. That’d be nice.

feeling purple

Today is baby Maddie’s funeral. For those of us who can’t be there in person to support the Spohr family, we’re showing our support by wearing purple today.

Catie & me in our purple for Maddie

Would you believe that out of the 10,937 items of purple clothing that Catie owns, the only thing I could get her to agree to wear this morning is a wife beater with a sparkly embroidered kitty-cat on the front?

Catie & me in our purple for Maddie
(Note that I am totally doing the “hide my giant butt behind someone else” move here.)

Catie & me in our purple for Maddie

A lot of bloggers are doing a purple balloon release in Maddie’s honor. (If you watch this video and don’t tear up even a tiny bit? I’m not sure I understand you.) I thought about doing it, but it’s a really gloomy, rainy day, and I couldn’t think of anything more depressing than taking pictures of a purple balloon floating up toward dark gray rain clouds. So no, not doing that.

Heather and Mike, I hope you feel the love around you today, and I pray that you can find peace and comfort. That’s really all I can say.

Easter

And now, for a slightly happier blog post:

Last week, my brother called and asked if we were going to church on Easter Sunday.

“Probably,” I said. “Dave doesn’t want to go, but I bought Catie a dress, so I’m pretty sure that at the very least, she and I are going.”

“Can I come stay with y’all this weekend and tag along?” he asked. “I don’t want Dad to give me any grief about not going to church on Easter.”

For the record, my brother will be 32 years old next month. My dad’s guilt trips are that good.

So my brother drove over from Charlotte and stayed with us on Saturday night. I think Catie likes him a little bit.

Catie & Chris

Maybe. I don’t know. Hard to say, really.

Then the Easter Bunny came on Saturday night. He did pretty well.

Easter loot

I think Catie might decide that the Easter Bunny is cooler than Santa Claus. After playing with her loot, we got dressed up and went to church.

sitting on the stairs in her Easter dress

Catie on Easter Sunday

I’m kicking myself for not getting a family picture while we were all dressed up (since it seems to happen so rarely). Oh well. Better luck next time, I guess.

It was a nice service, and we went out for brunch afterward. Then my brother headed home, causing Catie to have a major meltdown. Or maybe it was just too close to naptime and she was crashing after her Easter chocolate bender. Who knows. Two year-olds are confusing.

After Catie’s nap, we went for a walk in our neighborhood greenway. I didn’t have my camera with me, but I’m pretty impressed with the quality of the pictures that my iPhone takes. I really love the evening light in this one.

Love the light in this pic

It was a really good day. Hope that wherever you were, you had a good day too.

Going to Vegas

I don’t know how I completely forgot to mention this on the blog, but: I’m going to Las Vegas. Tomorrow. I know, you’d think that might’ve come up earlier, right? Oops.

My friend Kris is getting married, and for some bizarre reason that I cannot begin to fathom, they’re having the wedding in Las Vegas. (Different strokes, right? You couldn’t have paid me to have a destination wedding, but that’s just me.) I have very mixed feeling about going, mostly because I hate to fly, and I’m not a huge fan of Las Vegas. I don’t gamble, I don’t drink that much, I have no need for legalized prostitution, and that’s about the sum total of Las Vegas’s appeal right there. But you know, someone I love is getting married, so off I go.

Also: I’m going by myself. Dave and Catie were invited, of course, but Dave can’t really take time off from work right now, and flying six hours with a two year-old sounded only slightly less fun than a poke in the eye, so I decided, no. My mother-in-law is visiting right now (she got here on Wednesday, another thing I forgot to mention on the blog), so she and Dave are going to take care of Catie while I go.

The weird thing is, in Catie’s two-plus years on this planet, I have spent a grand total of one night away from her. ONE. In her WHOLE life. (This trip here, in case you were wondering.) So I’m very nervous about this trip, because I’ll be gone for two nights, and this will be Dave’s first time ever doing the solo-parenting gig overnight. And ok, he’s not technically a solo-parent, since his mom is here to help out, but still. You know what I mean. Since I’m usually Catie’s “translator” because I understand a lot of her gibberish that Dave doesn’t get, I’m a little worried about how they’re going to do on their own.

At the same time, though, I’m going to be flying by myself for the first time since Catie was born. That means no stroller to lug through security. No portable DVD player. No bag loaded down with toys, books, snacks, sippy cups, diapers, and a million other things. Just me. My purse, a book and my iPod. The end. It sounds so easy. I might actually enjoy this flight just because I’m going to have a few solid hours of alone time, which almost never happens.

Oh, and I’ll be staying in a hotel room. With a king-size bed. By myself. Where no one will wake me up at 4 a.m. by screaming, “Mommy! Daddy! Help help help!!!” into the baby monitor. I almost can’t imagine that.

So, yeah. Look out Las Vegas, here I come. I won’t be partaking in your casinos, your hookers, or (very much of) your booze. But I am very much looking forward to your hotel room, where I will be sleeping. A lot.

RABIES!!

I thought we’d escaped the critters when we left the boonies, but I’m starting to think that our family is cursed and our critter-related woes will follow us until the end of time. Last week, we heard a story on the news that a raccoon with rabies was found less than two miles from our house. According to the news story, it seemed to be more of a threat to pets than people, and our cats are now indoor-only. So no big worry, right?

Yeah. Today I was talking with my next-door neighbor, and she said that in our very own neighborhood, a squirrel attacked some kid this past weekend. They didn’t catch the squirrel, so there’s no way of knowing if it’s rabid or not (most likely it is, since squirrels don’t generally attack teenagers who are chatting on their cell phones in their parents’ garage), so the poor kid has to get rabies shots just to be safe.

So, I think the days of Catie and I taking walks through our neighborhood greenway have come to an end. At least until I buy a baseball bat to bring along as a walking stick/rabid squirrel defense mechanism.

pretty girl on an unusually warm day
Hmm, think this stick is big enough to bash in a rabid rodent’s head? No? Ok, I’ll keep looking.

Catie throwing rocks in the creek
How about this rock? Still no?

Sorry, baby girl. This is why your mommy doesn’t like nature.

Wordless Wednesday Thursday

Note: not totally wordless, since these need captions.
lips!
Because sometimes, you just gotta make a pouty face. For no reason.

toddler fashion sense
What do you mean wearing a skirt over jeans isn’t in style? This is FASHION!! I’m avante garde, people!
(Note that her shoes are on the wrong feet too. She put them on herself.)

playing chase through the dining room
I love this face so much it hurts.

in her new pajamas
Last night, after Catie’s bath, I thought I’d get some pictures of her new pajamas, because they’re awfully cute.

playing with a ball after bathtime
Then she grabbed a ball, and that was fun too.

running around in my scarf & her rain boots
Then she found my winter scarf (which is maroon and furry and sort of looks/feels like a skinned fraggle), and decided to play dress up.

The scarf alone was pretty good, but not quite enough. Add in her pink rain boots and Mommy’s faux-fur leopard-print hat, and voila!
apparently the "playing dress-up" phase has begun
A tiny, toddler-sized pimp was born.

on the couch in her costume, eating ice cubes

her rain boots + Mommy's hat & scarf = AWESOME
I know all parents say this, but seriously, that kid is the most awesome person I have ever had the pleasure to know.