Author Archives: Cindy

waking up with a bang, quite literally

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This morning, about 5 minutes before my alarm went off, I woke up suddenly when there was a loud explosion outside. It was enough to make Teenie, who had been sound asleep in the crook of my arm (her usual spot) jump up too. A couple of seconds later, the electricity went out. Great. It was totally overcast outside, so there wasn’t much natural light coming in when I pulled back the shades. I lit a bunch of candles, and tried to think of things that I could still do with no electricity:

1. Work – Well, the laptop will run on battery power for a while, true. Without an Internet connection, however, I can’t do anything. I could play Freecell for a while, but that’s about it.
2. Laundry – nope
3. Heat some water for a cup of tea – no stove, no microwave, no go
4. Shave my legs – by candlelight? No thanks.
5. Vacuum – ha ha
6. Call Dave (who I was sure hadn’t left the house yet because it was still early), and tell him to leave a key so I could go to his house & work from there – I think the electric garage door might put a dent in those plans. (Or in my car, if I tried to drive through it.)
7. Go for a walk around the neighborhood to see just how far-reaching this blackout is – my building’s front doors run on an electric security system. I could get out, but I wouldn’t be able to get back in.

So finally I gave up, got back in bed, and read old issues of “People” magazine by the overcast morning light. Two and a half hours later, the power came back on. And that sums up my morning.

In other news, I’m on hour 18 of a 24-hour fast. It’s no major secret that I have a lot of food issues. I decided to do this to get myself out of the “eat everything in sight” habit that I seem to have developed over the holidays. Not that I really expect my appetite to change that much in 24 hours, I know it takes a lot more than that to make one’s stomach shrink. This is more to break me out of the mental cycle of munching on food when I’m not really hungry. And you know, it’s really not so bad. I wasn’t at all sure I was going to make it, but I’m drinking protein shakes, which are pretty filling, and a lot of green tea. I’ve noticed that if I have something hot in my stomach, I don’t feel as hungry, so tea works. And I’ve made a point of not putting anything in it – no sugar or honey or anything – because I thought that would defeat the purpose.

And it’s odd, I’ve been psyching myself out mentally, like “well, maybe I’ll stop at hour 20, that’s still pretty good.” And then as I get closer to that time, I start thinking “You wimp, you’re not even really hungry, you can do better than that. If you want to chew on something, have a piece of gum.” Then I start wondering if that broccoli-cheese soup that I got at the grocery store deli the other day would count as a liquid, and I immediately berate myself for even thinking about it. Because really, if you have to question whether or not it counts as cheating, it probably does. The funny thing is that I have this same sort of back-and-forth mental argument when I’m at the gym. “Maybe I’ll stop after 20 minutes on the treadmill.” “Come on, fat ass, you can do thirty and you know it.” Am I the only one who does this? I’m trying to decide if I’m crazy or not. Input is appreciated.

Project Runway Drama

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This probably holds no interest for anyone except a couple of the girls who read this, but here goes the summary of last night’s Project Runway. For those who didn’t see it (read: guys), here’s the recap: 9 designers were split into 3 teams of 3, and they had to each come up with a dress for some new annoying singer whose album is in stores and is apparently being heavily marketed. The singer is kind of like an Avril Lavigne-Ashlee Simpson-Courtney Love hybrid. She seems to like the tattered babydoll-whore look, but she’s total cheese pop music with a faux punk coating. So the three designs they came up with were Kevin’s (which won, for some reason), Austin’s (which, as Sally has already mentioned, was truly god-awful) and Jay’s (my personal favorite).

Anyway, they all had to vote as to who was the weakest person on each team, and then the judges made the final decision on who’d get booted. Unfortunately, this week it was Vanessa, the cute British woman who actually seems like someone I could be friends with in real life because she’s a bit of a loudmouth smartass. I really wanted them to boot Nora, who cried through a good portion of this week’s episode – and accused everyone of stealing a pattern piece that she lost, and then cried more when someone called her on it. Nora also has a really stupid quasi-mohawk hairdo that I am quite honestly sick of looking at, so I want her GONE! Her clothes are boring and ugly, so I’m holding out hope that she’s going to get kicked off the show very soon.

On the subject of Austin’s tears, which was mentioned in previous comments… I’m honestly trying to decide who’s the bigger queen between Jay and Austin. I mean, Austin’s tears this week were pretty melodramatic, but do you remember Jay’s reaction when Mario got kicked off? He said that he hadn’t boo-hooed like that in decades. Um, dude, you’re only in your 20’s, you don’t exactly have “decades” to choose from yet. And yes, Austin has the Dickensian dressing gown and the knee-high night stockings, and he is Master of the Glossy-But-Not-Whorey Lipgloss look. But Jay shows up for his interview segments wearing huge Elton John circa 1972 sunglasses and a fur wrap, for God’s sake. I think the difference is that Austin doesn’t seem to realize just how queeny he is, and Jay sort of revels in it.

So yeah, this post was mostly just for the girls. Sorry guys, I’ll try to write something more unbiased next time.

new pics

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I forgot to mention in my insanely long post yesterday, I’ve added photos to the Thanksgiving album, and a whole bunch are now in my Christmas album. Feel free to browse, and take in all of the holiday festiveness! (Yes, I’m being sarcastic… I’m not even sure if “festiveness” is a word.)

My friend Opie (don’t worry, that’s a nickname) is here from Nashville for a job interview. He’s getting his Ph.D. in psychology and has to do a one-year internship, so he’s checking out a couple of places here; and of course, since he’s still in school, he’s completely broke, so I’m letting him crash on my futon. Which is no big deal, really, he’s an old friend and it’s been good to have some time to catch up with him. I just feel bad that I haven’t taken him sightseeing around Seattle at all, because I’ve been so tired from our trip. And he’s leaving tomorrow. Oh well, if he ends up with a job here, I’m sure I’ll see him a lot more often.

Not much else going on. Dave’s coming over to meet Opie tonight and we’ll go to dinner. Should be fun.

Holiday Madness!

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Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.

December 23rd: Early in the morning, we headed to the airport for our flight to Jackson, only to find out that the first leg was going to be delayed for 2 hours. This meant that we were going to miss our connection in Dallas. So I called the airline to find out which later flight we would be on, and I was informed that we could maybe get on standby for the first flight out on Christmas Eve, but it wasn’t likely. (Keep in mind Teenie was with us, so if we had to stay in a hotel, we would’ve had to get food, litter box & all other kitty accoutrements that my mom already has at her house.) Dave and I made the executive decision to screw the 2nd flight, rent a car in Dallas, and drive to Jackson so we could get there the same day. We told the airline this, and they said that they’d change our luggage orders so our bags would stop in Dallas. Turns out, my bag stopped in Dallas, but Dave’s apparently traveled on without him. Oh well. We got the car and I drove us the 450-ish miles from Dallas to Jackson. Dave slept for 5 1/2 of the 6 hours – he woke up in Vicksburg, so he was conscious for the last 40 miles or so. We got to my parents’ house sometime around 2 a.m., and promptly collapsed.

December 24th: We had to go to the airport in Jackson to get Dave’s bags, and in spite of the previous day’s bad travel luck, we actually got them. Whew. I should add, my sister flew to Jackson on the 22nd, and she didn’t get her suitcase until the 24th, either. And then there was all the news coverage about the thousands of people whose bags were lost by the airlines, so we felt pretty lucky by comparison. Anyway, we all went to the candlelight church service that evening, came home, had the Huge Christmas Dinner, and opened presents. I cleaned up this year. I got clothes from my parents and a pashmina from my sister, which were all great. Then Dave got me a necklace that I absolutely adore, a purse that is nicer than anything I have ever owned in my life, and other assorted goodies. I got him a grandfather mantle clock, which he seemed to really like – although he only got pictures of it at Christmas, because it was too big and breakable to get it from Seattle to Jackson and back again. (He got the real clock when we got home yesterday.) What can I say, Christmas was good.

December 25th: The worst migraine I have had in ages. My mom even gave me one of her heavy-duty narcotic painkillers, which did absolutely nothing for it. Somehow, in spite of the pounding in my head, I managed to get myself dressed and packed, and we headed down to New Orleans. We had to take a roundabout way to get there, because it had actually snowed in Louisiana, which is something that never happens there, ever. But, we arrived safe & sound, and we had a great time visiting with relatives that night and on the 26th. Then Mom & Tracy headed back to Jackson, Dave & I got another rental car, and we had the city all to ourselves.

December 27th: The first day of our vacation without my family around. We woke up at 9 a.m., showered, lay in bed to watch the news coverage of the tsunami, and fell asleep until well after 1 in the afternoon. Ah, laziness. I love vacation. After we woke up, we went to an absolutely horrible lunch (at a restaurant that both of my parents raved about, oddly enough), and then wandered around the French Quarter for the rest of the day/night.

December 28th: Slept late. Got up, checked out of the hotel, drove around New Orleans for a bit before heading back to Jackson. Hung out with my parents and watched “Collateral”. It was good.

December 29th: Slept late again. Actually, that was an accident, I got up at 11:00, went into Dave’s room to wake him up (no co-ed sleeping arrangements in my parents’ house), and I lay down on the bed next to him and fell asleep for 2 hours. I was worried that my parents might have caught us like that and freaked out because the door was wide open, but he was under the covers and I was on top of them, so I think it was ok. If they walked down the hall and saw us, they didn’t say anything about it. Anyway, we eventually got up and drove to Memphis. We checked into our hotel, met up with Kris for dinner and then went to play pool at a sketchy bar near the university, which used to be one of our regular hang-outs. Kind of funny to be there again, although I didn’t run into anyone that I knew. Which is probably a good thing.

December 30th: Got up, had lunch, and gave Dave a driving tour of all the places I’ve lived in Memphis. Took him back to the hotel to shower, and then he wanted some quiet time, so I left him there while I went to go hang out with Kris for a couple of hours. We went to some of the local artists’ shops in midtown, which I love. Then Kris and I went back to to the hotel to pick up Dave, and we went to check out Peabody Place. This is one of those cool new things that’s happened to Memphis since I left the city – downtown is actually nice now. Who knew? It’s fabulous. We shopped and went to the Peabody Hotel next door to see the ducks. We avoided Beale Street because it was insanely packed, apparently there was some parade going on there, which may or may not have had something to do with the Liberty Bowl, we weren’t sure. The three of us met up with Becky, Naina and Carrie for dinner that night, which was great. Dave seemed to get good reviews from all of my friends, so that’s good.

December 31st: Spa day! Kris arranged for us to get manicures, pedicures, facials and massages. Ah, so lovely. I had never had a pedicure before, and I haven’t had a facial in years, so that was absolutely wonderful. And it took up the better part of the day; meanwhile, Dave had the rental car and he went off to explore Memphis on his own. We met up at the hotel that evening, got dressed, and went over to Kris’s house for her New Year’s party. I had way too much to drink and was quite obnoxious. Dave somehow managed to get me to bed, where I promptly passed out. Didn’t feel too hot the next day, either.

January 1st: Got up, checked out right at noon (barely made it), drove to Jackson. Chilled out with my parents. Watched “The Manchurian Candidate”. Dave & I had already seen it, but I knew there was no sex in the movie, so I would be safe to watch it with my dad. He seemed to like it.

January 2nd: Flew home. Not nearly as much airport drama as last time, just that we were tired and irritable. But I had so much fun on this vacation, it’s probably one of the best holidays I’ve had in years. I was sad that it was over. And I’m sad that I don’t get to see Dave every day anymore, I really enjoyed that. Even when I was pissy and he was getting on my nerves, I was still glad that he was around. Go figure.

birthdays, etc.

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So today marks the birthday of two very important people:
1. My very first real-life crush as well as my first kiss when I was 4, gclark. He was the boy next door, our families went on vacation together when we were kids. I was heartbroken when his family moved to Arkansas. He’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever had the good fortune to meet, and he’s still just about the damn cutest thing you ever did see. (Excluding Dave, of course.)
2. Alphagal’s hubby, SNG. (Someday I’m going to find out what that nickname stands for.) Another great, funny guy who I’m happy to be related to, even if it is only through marriage.

So happy birthday, you little Sagittarians, you.

Other stuff: yesterday I treated myself to a massage, because my shoulders have been locked up since the whole Thanksgiving shindig. I thought it might be a good idea to unwind before I go deal with another round of family togetherness. It was amazing, definitely a worthwhile expense. The girl used so much oil on me that when I was walking the block from the massage place back to my apartment, I thought I was going to slide out of my shoes and fall on my ass. Mental note: next time, wear socks for traction.

Not much else going on. I’m trying to wrap up work stuff so I can leave on Thursday for vacation. Christmas shopping is done. Now I just need to get my laundry done so I can start packing. Whee!

fun links

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I don’t know if any of you are as obsessed with celebrity mocking as I am, but if you’re anywhere close, you need to go see Go Fug Yourself – yet another thing for which I must give props to Sally at Catoptric. It’s all photos of celebrities and some of the most genius fashion commentary I have ever read. Great posts you should see include Ashlee Simpson, Juliette Lewis, and my favorite, Britney Spears (actually, there’s lots of Britney-mocking on that site, but that one remains my favorite). I’ve recently seen the girls who created this website as commentators on some “awesomely bad fashion” show on VH-1. Go figure.

The other is Manolo’s Shoe Blog. It is hilarious, and my favorite picture there so far is this one of Paris Hilton and Pam Anderson. I guess Pam doesn’t care so much about her panties being visible in public, since most of the world has already seen her naked. Panties seem downright modest by her standards. Oh yeah, Pammy is also wearing leg warmers on her arms. Riiiiight.

Prepare to have a couple of hours sucked out of your day with those. I’ve added them to my “Fun Links” section for future reference.

holiday shopping finale

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Yesterday, I went to the mall to get the Christmas presents for myself, courtesy of a check my mom sent me last week. It’s kind of an annual tradition in our family. Problem is, the last few times I’ve been shopping, nothing has really looked cute on me. (This is entirely an issue with my self-image and not the clothes, and I know that.) But I also know that I would’ve gotten hell if I had used my Christmas money for something like groceries or utility bills, so I was determined to find clothes that I liked. I hit at least 9 different stores, but by god, I found a few things that didn’t look too awful. So hooray for that, Christmas shopping is officially over for me.

For the most part, my encounters with mall employees were pleasant or unnoteworthy, except for two little things that I thought would make funny anecdotes. Number one: While passing through the fragrance section of a department store, I stopped to smell a couple of things I hadn’t seen before. As I started to leave, one of the fragrance ladies jumped out with her little piece of paper that had been sprayed with perfume to offer it to me. I’m actually a big fan of this type of marketing, as opposed to the women who try to assault you by spraying you with the actual perfume. Sure, give me the piece of paper, I can throw it away in 5 seconds after I’ve decided I don’t like it. I’ll be much happier doing that, rather than having to take a shower to get rid of the smell.

So she comes up to me and says “New fragrance?”, and starts to hand me the paper. As soon as my hand touches it, she says in a voice about 10 times quieter than before, “… by Paris Hilton.” Doh! Too late now, I’ve already agreed to take the piece of paper by reaching for it. There’s no backing out of this little perfume transaction at this point. The funny part was that she was so clearly embarassed to have to push Paris Hilton’s perfume on people, I almost didn’t hear her say the name over the mall noise. So I took the paper and walked away, and it took every ounce of self-control in my body not to sniff it, turn around and say “Gee, it doesn’t smell like skank ho.” And of course, because I fought the urge and didn’t say it, I then got a wicked case of the church giggles in the middle of the mall. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. I’m sure people thought I was nuts.

The other incident took place on my way out. As I finished shopping, it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten in something like 7 1/2 hours. I skipped hungry, and went straight to “If I don’t eat something now, I’m either going to faint or kill someone.” So I decided that on my way out of the mall, I would stop to get a pretzel dog. [Aside: If any of you have not yet experienced this most wondrous creation of the mall food court, do so immediately. It’s like a hot dog, only more buttery and salty. Translation: heaven.] There was a kiosk in the middle of the hallway that had perfumes and lotions, and as I walked past it, the guy working there asked me if I’d like to try something. I don’t know what it was, he had a bottle of something blue in his hands, and I wasn’t listening – I was a woman on a mission. I shook my head and said “no thanks.” That’s actually excessively polite for me when I have low blood sugar. Then he says, “Can I ask you something?” Um, ok. I stopped walking and turned around. He said, “Are your nails real or fake?” I was so confused, I don’t know why I didn’t realize that this was part of a sales pitch. I said, “They’re real,” and held my hand out to show him. He grabbed my hand and started to pull me toward his kiosk. He said, “Can I show you something that would be just amazing for your nails?” This guy obviously had no clue that he had just taken his life into his own hands by delaying me on my Quest for Pretzel Dog Bliss. So I gave him my biggest, sweetest “I’m being polite because that’s how my parents raised me, but if you don’t let go of my hand this instant, so help me, I’m leaving this mall with one of your eyeballs as a rearview mirror decoration” southern girl smiles, and I said, “No.” Very firm, no room for negotiation. A fleeting look of terror crossed his face, and he let go of my hand. I decided to let him live, despite the fact that I would’ve been at least 10 seconds closer to my pretzel dog if he hadn’t stopped me. Oh well.

Also, I have to give a shout-out to Sally over at Catoptric, who now has me completely and totally hooked on Project Runway. If any of you haven’t seen it, tune in immediately. The bitchiness is rampant. Rampant, I tell you! It’s so great. There are two of the gayest gay men I have ever seen in my life on that show. (And I used to be friends with a drag queen, so that’s saying something.) There’s also a guy on that show with cornrows, who I find oddly attractive. Which is kind of alarming, as I’m not typically a cornrow-loving kind of gal. Last night, they got rid of the girl with the constant sourpuss look on her face. And thank god, I was tired of looking at her, and her dresses were ugly.