waking up with a bang, quite literally

This morning, about 5 minutes before my alarm went off, I woke up suddenly when there was a loud explosion outside. It was enough to make Teenie, who had been sound asleep in the crook of my arm (her usual spot) jump up too. A couple of seconds later, the electricity went out. Great. It was totally overcast outside, so there wasn’t much natural light coming in when I pulled back the shades. I lit a bunch of candles, and tried to think of things that I could still do with no electricity:

1. Work – Well, the laptop will run on battery power for a while, true. Without an Internet connection, however, I can’t do anything. I could play Freecell for a while, but that’s about it.
2. Laundry – nope
3. Heat some water for a cup of tea – no stove, no microwave, no go
4. Shave my legs – by candlelight? No thanks.
5. Vacuum – ha ha
6. Call Dave (who I was sure hadn’t left the house yet because it was still early), and tell him to leave a key so I could go to his house & work from there – I think the electric garage door might put a dent in those plans. (Or in my car, if I tried to drive through it.)
7. Go for a walk around the neighborhood to see just how far-reaching this blackout is – my building’s front doors run on an electric security system. I could get out, but I wouldn’t be able to get back in.

So finally I gave up, got back in bed, and read old issues of “People” magazine by the overcast morning light. Two and a half hours later, the power came back on. And that sums up my morning.

In other news, I’m on hour 18 of a 24-hour fast. It’s no major secret that I have a lot of food issues. I decided to do this to get myself out of the “eat everything in sight” habit that I seem to have developed over the holidays. Not that I really expect my appetite to change that much in 24 hours, I know it takes a lot more than that to make one’s stomach shrink. This is more to break me out of the mental cycle of munching on food when I’m not really hungry. And you know, it’s really not so bad. I wasn’t at all sure I was going to make it, but I’m drinking protein shakes, which are pretty filling, and a lot of green tea. I’ve noticed that if I have something hot in my stomach, I don’t feel as hungry, so tea works. And I’ve made a point of not putting anything in it – no sugar or honey or anything – because I thought that would defeat the purpose.

And it’s odd, I’ve been psyching myself out mentally, like “well, maybe I’ll stop at hour 20, that’s still pretty good.” And then as I get closer to that time, I start thinking “You wimp, you’re not even really hungry, you can do better than that. If you want to chew on something, have a piece of gum.” Then I start wondering if that broccoli-cheese soup that I got at the grocery store deli the other day would count as a liquid, and I immediately berate myself for even thinking about it. Because really, if you have to question whether or not it counts as cheating, it probably does. The funny thing is that I have this same sort of back-and-forth mental argument when I’m at the gym. “Maybe I’ll stop after 20 minutes on the treadmill.” “Come on, fat ass, you can do thirty and you know it.” Am I the only one who does this? I’m trying to decide if I’m crazy or not. Input is appreciated.

16 thoughts on “waking up with a bang, quite literally

  1. Absolutely not, you're doing great. I think bargaining is par for the course when it comes to diet, exercise (or smoking ;)).

  2. You ARE doing great. At least you are able to make yourself get to the gym, even if your evil side tries to bargain down the time you spend on a certain machine.My internal monologue is like this:Me: I should take a walk.Me: No. "Clean Sweep" is on.Me: You're right.

  3. The usual thing to do when it comes to the gym is to take out a years membership, go 4 times a week for a month, twice a week for the next month and never again after that (whilst still paying every month for the year). I think I would like the will power to just have will power…

  4. So DaveM, how many attempts have you made to stop smoking?I think I'm on #8.I *will* get there tho'

  5. I think I'm on about 12 times now. I did give up for nine months but I was silly. BTW Did Cindy ask you if she could "bum a fag"?

  6. I don't smoke, so I have nothing to do with bumming fags. I don't think Dave would let me bum a fag anyway – he knows I'd probably take the whole pack and flush it down the toilet.

  7. That's a bit harsh isn't it? Is there a reason for the hostility on smoking? (if there is, you don't need to say). Surely each to his own…

  8. Um, it stinks? And it's bad for one's health, turns the teeth brown, and is generally an all-around disgusting habit. But mostly it's the smell. If I'm in a bar or with someone who's smoking, it winds up in my clothes and my hair, and it drives me crazy. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

  9. Woah there Cindy….breath….!Well, that's fair enough then 🙂 The irony is, I'm no big fan of it either but as I said in a previous comment, I have the will power of something with no will power….curse myself. (even though over here it is the equivalent of about six dollars fifty a pack…)

  10. I agree about smoking. I can only imagine nastier ways to scent mark oneself. But processed sugar is a far more insidious chemical to be addicted to. It's a slow spastic form of death.

  11. Dude, I am queen of rationalizing when it comes to sweets. I even have to 'fess up to a nutritionist each week, and I…..lie. I'll be fine for the first 2 days after I "get my resolve" and then, I give myself some perfectly rational reason that this chocolate, those candies, the cookie are really not *that bad* for me, that I can have *just one more*. I've got to get off this holiday-grazing-go-round, too.

  12. The wierdest thing for me is I go through phases of sugar consumption. I can quite happily do without it for months, then all of a sudden I have to have it all day, every day for perhaps several weeks. Wierd.When I was a Software Engineer I used to get through up to 6-7 cans of Coke a day without even thinking about it. It was kind of encouraged by the culture we had in the office. Free soda, free pizza. Late nights.

  13. That's kind of the rule for software engineers, isn't it? They seem to subsist on nothing but Cheetos and Mountain Dew. And most of them are skinny. Go figure.

  14. Cool. Well I've written an app which helps me work out how much ice cold beer I have to drink in order to burn off calories. I will place it in your inbox…..

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