I’m not sure what’s going on with me lately, I just have this general feeling of anxiety that I can’t seem to shake. I think it’s because there’s a lot of stuff happening that’s in a weird transition phase, and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. For example:
* My job will be starting sometime in the near future. I’m still not sure of my exact start date, which is annoying, but I’m more worried about the fact that I’ve been out of the work force for almost a year(!), and oh man, what if I’ve forgotten every blessed thing I ever knew about technology in the meantime?
* Cate will be starting daycare when I start working again. I found a wonderful woman who has an in-home daycare just a couple of miles from my house. I instantly clicked with her and just felt very comfortable with the idea of Cate staying with her, and her references were outstanding. But I also worry because Cate is at the peak of this separation anxiety phase, and I’m concerned about how hard it’s going to be when I have to leave her there. (And I mean that for all 3 of us – Cate, me and Patsy the daycare lady.)
* We’re actively working on getting our house ready to sell next year, with no real idea of where we’re going after that. I like to plan things in advance (Dave would say that I plan compulsively), so the fact that we have no Step B to follow our Step A is really stressing me out. We most likely won’t be staying in Washington, which makes me sad because I’m going to really miss my friends here, and I’m worried about how hard it’ll be to find a new group of friends wherever we go. Obviously, if we end up in North Carolina, I have a built-in support system already there, but it’s not the only possibility on the roster, and I’m a little unsure of how I feel about the other options.
So. There’s that. If you’re wondering why I’m not blogging as much lately, it’s because it takes away from my precious hand-wringing time. I’d like to start drinking again, but then I get all jittery about carrying Cate (especially up and down the stairs), so I don’t think that’s a very good solution. Rats.