Either this is a sign that I have completely lost my mind, or it means that unemployment may have gotten to me: I have now left the house, multiple times, without eye make-up. That’s right. I have done nothing more than slap on some powder and a little lip balm before setting foot out my front door, no mascara or eyeliner or anything. I haven’t been doing my hair either, I’ve just been sticking it in a ponytail or a clip and calling it good. What the hell is wrong with me? This is not me, I’m a southern girl who was raised in a good home, and the “au naturel” look is not who I am. I haven’t left the house without make-up since I was 13 years old.* This has now happened three times, when I was going to such glamorous locales as the supermarket, the video store, and our local teriyaki place (mmm… take-out). So I suppose it’s not a sign of my impending senility yet, since I do still make an effort for things like dinner with friends, or job interviews. Maybe, in a way, it’s a positive thing because it means that I’m less self-conscious about my looks. And I haven’t felt “naked” without my make-up, like I expected I would. So it might not be that terrible.

But also? Lately I’ve only been washing my hair every other day instead of every day. Help me Jesus, I fear I have lost it.

* Ok, that’s not actually true. When I was in college, I caught pink eye from some little brat that I baby-sat for, and I couldn’t wear eye make-up for a week while I took antibiotics. Also, when I lived in Wisconsin, a couple of times I made late-night supermarket runs with no make-up, because hello, it was Wisconsin. Even with no make-up, I’m still pretty hot by their standards. **

** I do have friends from Wisconsin who are absolutely beautiful. The buck-toothed, stringy-haired midwestern girl is a very negative stereotype and I apologize if I offended any potential readers from those states. Unless, you know, you are a buck-toothed, stringy-haired midwestern girl. In which case, go get yourself some good salon-quality shampoo and a decent makeover, and I’m sure you’ll be fine.