I gave up Diet Coke about 8 or 9 months ago (I forget exactly when), and I think breaking that habit has been a big part of the reason I’ve been able to lose weight. Based on what I’ve read about the effects that diet sodas have on the metabolism and your brain, and the fact that I’ve lost 35 pounds since I gave it up, I think it’s safe to say there’s probably a connection there.

(Well, that and the running. I run an average of 12-15 miles a week now. I think that makes a difference too.)

I had some Diet Coke a couple of months ago, because I was at a party and there were two-liter bottles of soda, with cups and a cooler of ice, set up on a picnic table. I was tired and figured the caffeine hit would help.

The crazy thing: it made me totally sick. It tasted terrible, it burned my throat, and I felt burpy and bloated and sick for the rest of the day.

So, what do you know. Apparently that stuff really isn’t good for you after all. I knew it wasn’t healthy, of course, I just didn’t realize quite how much damage I might’ve been doing to my body until I gave it up.

I don’t want to turn into one of those anti-soda people, because I generally find those people to be annoying and tedious, but that’s my personal story of Why I’m Glad I Don’t Drink Diet Coke Anymore. You’re welcome, and I promise that I’ll try to never get preachy about it.

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Of course, giving up the soda means finding a different source of caffeine, and generally I’ve become a big fan of iced tea. Unsweetened with a little sweet ‘n’ low is my new favorite thing – and it HAS to be the pink stuff, do not try to give me Splenda or Equal or I will smash your face.

First thing in the morning, since I always feel like death when I wake up, I’ve started drinking coffee. I’ve never liked coffee, but I’ve managed to adapt to it. My problem is that I really don’t like hot drinks, but if I make iced coffee, I’m fine.

And a few times, I’ve gotten an iced coffee at Starbucks – which, for the record, I still cannot walk into a Starbucks without feeling like some terrible suburban mom stereotype.

I couldn’t figure out why the Starbucks iced coffee tasted a million times better than the stuff I made at home.

Then it dawned on me that at Starbucks, the milk I put in is half-and-half. At home, I was using skim milk. So apparently that’s the key. As with so many other things in life: once you add a little fat to it, suddenly it’s MMMM, TASTY!

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Totally unrelated to all things beverage: I’m normally a Kelly Clarkson fan. She’s cute and feisty, seems like she’d be fun to hang out with, and I generally like most of her music.

But I hate-hate-HATE this new “Unconditionally” song. Because you know what? There is no such thing as unconditional romantic love. Everyone has conditions. They vary per person – some people’s conditions may be far more extreme than others – but your partner can always do SOMETHING that would alienate your love.

So, really, what she means is more like, “I love you unconditionally… until you cheat on me/hit me/start cooking meth in an RV out in the desert/what-have-you.” But those are all conditions. So the entire premise of the song is bullshit.

Also, she puts her inflection on the wrong syllables and that just bugs me.

Try again, Ms. Clarkson.

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I read this post by Helga yesterday, and it got me thinking about bullies/mean people in general.

I’m not sure why, but it inspired me to google a guy I dated in college, who was without a doubt the worst boyfriend of my entire dating history. I’m not even going to get into all of the details, because I’m still embarrassed to admit the amount of abuse and mistreatment I took from this jackass, even though it’s almost 18 years later.

And I remember very clearly, driving home after our break-up, thinking to myself, “Ok. Chalk this one up as a learning experience. Now you know how you will never let a man treat you, ever again.” And it stuck. So I guess I ought to be thankful for that, I learned my lesson early, and I haven’t dated anyone even remotely like that since then.

Turns out? Abusive JerkFace Guy is now on the national sex offender registry. And it was weird, but recognizing his face in the mugshot I saw online, I wasn’t even the slightest bit surprised to see that he had been in prison for sexual battery. In fact, it sort of felt… oddly gratifying. Not for whoever was his victim, of course, because I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But I had a moment of “good, I hope you learned your lesson.”

I mean, it’s doubtful. Assholes usually stay assholes for life. But I can hope.

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There’s really no point to anything in this post, just a bunch of random stuff that’s been jumbling around in my head, and it was all too long for Twitter and/or Facebook. So here it is. Hopefully my abuse of animated GIFs made it more interesting.

If not? Well.

(I could watch those dudes all day.)

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Edited to add: It was pointed out to me on Twitter that “Unconditionally” is actually sung by Katy Perry and not Kelly Clarkson. Which explains why I hate it. Ok then, nevermind! Carry on!