pass the kleenex

For the last few months, I’ve had this really embarrassing issue: I cry at all of my OB appointments.

I guess it’s no big secret that I’ve been dealing with some pretty heavy-duty anxiety issues lately. My doctor’s office is aware of that too. So now, every time one of the doctors walks in and asks how I’m doing, I just lose it. And I hate, hate, HATE crying in front of people. But I can never seem to hold it together.

I think it’s the waiting room that gets to me the most. I sign in for my appointment, and then I have to sit there, surrounded by a bunch of glowing, happy pregnant women, and I feel like I’m… failing. Badly. Like I’m the worst pregnant lady who ever lived, and I don’t deserve this baby, and blah-blah-negative-thoughts-spinning-in-my-head-blah.

Logically, I know that’s bullshit. I know that I’m not the first (or even the millionth) woman to deal with anxiety during pregnancy. But logic is not my strong suit these days. I’m a walking ball of hormones and overactive tear ducts, apparently.

Sometimes I wonder what on earth my doctors have written down about me in my chart. But I think I’m probably better off not knowing.

3 thoughts on “pass the kleenex

  1. I so feel for you Cindy!! I was so anxious and flat out crazy during my pregnancy I thought FOR SURE the Children’s Aid would be there to take my daughter as soon as she was born! Even on meds during pregnancy I still had a hell of a time. I probably was the WORST PREGNANT PERSON EVER. Hang in there, your time is almost done :o) *HUGS*

  2. Awwww, I wish I was closer so we could get together. I’m sorry that you feel so emotional and anxious and you are NOT failing. You are an excellent mother and soon enough you will be all better, I just know it! I’m here if you EVER need anything.


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