Here are two of those “TMI Mommyblogger” stories that Catie will probably hate me for when she’s a teenager.
1.) Catie’s been fully potty-trained since early this year. She’s had zero accidents for… I don’t know, at least six months, I guess? It’s been so long that I’ve stopped bringing extra clothes with me everywhere I take her, because she’s so reliable about always using the potty.
But in the past week, she’s wet the bed not once, but twice. I know she’s stressed out because of my new job and my pregnancy and all of that, but I guess I kind of expected this to start after the baby got here, not before. True, both of those accidents happened on nights when she didn’t go to the bathroom before bedtime, but she’s done that dozens of times in the past and never had accidents, so… ? I don’t get it.
The thing is, if I have to get up at 6:30 a.m. to get ready for work, I do not have the energy for these middle-of-the-night sheet changes. So I’m implementing a new rule: if she doesn’t pee before bed, she’s going to have to wear a Pull-Up. (And no, just sitting on the potty and telling me that she can’t go doesn’t count.) I have a feeling this might be enough to snap her out of this phase, since she’s very entrenched in that “only babies wear diapers” mindset. Or at least it might convince her to just go ahead and pee before bedtime already. Sheesh.
2.) Last night, when it was time to head upstairs for bed, she wanted to bring her stuffed reindeer with her to bed. Fine with me. But suddenly, she threw her reindeer on the ground and burst into tears, saying, “I don’t want my reindeer, he’s got white dirt on him!!”
I picked up the toy to check out what this “white dirt” was all about… and pulled two HUGE boogers off of her reindeer.
Me: Oh, eww. Catie, did you pick your nose and wipe it on the reindeer?
Me: Then whose boogers are these?
C: Um… I think they’re Daddy’s?
Nice way to throw your father under the bus, kid. We went to tell Dave goodnight, and I repeated the story to him.
Dave: Catie, I did NOT put boogers on your reindeer!
[Aside: y’all should hear how Dave pronounces the word “boogers” with his British accent. It’s completely adorable and hilarious.]
[Aside #2: File THAT quote – “I didn’t put boogers on your reindeer” – with the other million sentences you never thought you’d say until you had a kid.]
C: *giggles because she knows she’s busted*
Me: So, whose boogers were they?
C: Fairy boogers! *falls over laughing*
If that’s true, Tinkerbell really needs to get herself to an ear-nose-and-throat specialist, fast. Yuck.
P.S. I think calling something “fairy boogers” is going to be my new kid-safe way of saying that something is bullshit. It sounds so much more G-rated that way.