So, to follow up on that last post, I started the South Beach diet on Monday. (With a few tips from the “Fat Flush Diet” thrown in, because I actually liked a couple of her techniques when I tried them last year.) Just your basic low-carb, low-calorie diet, and I’m trying to use The Daily Plate to help me track my calorie intake. Which is difficult, because it’s tedious and I tend to be lazy about documenting things like the handful of granola I grabbed as I walked past the pantry. (How do you even document that? How big a serving is a handful?) But I think it’s a good exercise because it’s making me a lot more thoughtful every time I shove something in my mouth (heh… that’s what she said).
And so far, it’s honestly been fine. I haven’t felt deprived at all. I’m staying well within my recommended daily calorie allowance, and I’m not starving. So it’s good. I figure that if I can stick with that ideal “lose 1 or 2 pounds a week” target, I should be down to my goal weight in about 4 to 6 months. It sounds daunting, but not nearly as daunting as it did when I was 265 pounds. Four to six months is nothing compared to that. It’s a drop in the proverbial bucket.
I’d really like to start working out too, but I can’t right now with my sinuses still all gunked up with this cold. Hopefully by the time my Vibram Five Fingers arrive in the mail, I’ll be over the majority of this cold and will be able to get started on my couch-to-5K again.
One thing that’s been on my mind a lot lately is how much of my mom’s body image issues I adopted as my own as I grew up. When I was little, I remember my mom always complaining about how fat she was, and she was maybe a size 8 or 10 at the time (so NOT fat in the slightest). I worry about passing those sorts of hang-ups on to my own daughter.
My plan is that if/when she asks me about my new eating habits (and I’m sure that she will, because the kid notices absolutely everything), to emphasize to her that this diet is so Mommy will be strong and healthy, and I will absolutely not say anything negative about my body in front of her (even though I might be thinking it). I just don’t want to put those types of ideas in her head. I don’t want her to internalize any of my own negativity or hang-ups.
I never want her to think that she isn’t beautiful, just as she is.
AMEN. I try hard to do the same thing: I teach them that it’s OK to leave food on their plate as long as they feel energy and full. I teach them that we eat less sugar to be healthy, even if I’m struggling like mad with my own body image. I try to teach her that she’s lovely and strong and smart, not pretty and petite and skinny.
I think it’s harder to teach other people this than it is to tell our daughters. She still hears, “wow, she’s so pretty” and I want to smack people. She IS. But she’s also a wonderfully loving, giving spirit and smart. Let’s focus on that, eh?
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When ever someone makes a comment like “Oh my, she’s so beautiful.” I follow up with yes, and she’s smart as a whip, too. I never want her to think looks are all that matter.
You are raising her right. When/if I ever had a daughter I hope to instill the same thing in her. I never want her to feel the way I have growing up over-weight.
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i think that’s great. we should be like that for our daugthers. what’s sad is that i’m sure i’ve complained about being fat a time or 2 and now sometimes my 7 year old daughter will tell me she’s fat. she’s totally NOT at all. she’s at a very healthy weight. but then other days she’ll tell me “i love myself” so it goes back and forth. i try to tell her all the time how perfect is just the way she is. they need that from us.
You know those things people write in books “her eyes sparkled as she answered him” or “with eyes twinkling she let out a laugh.”? In the above picture with Catie in the hat I can swear I see her eyes sparkling. She’s laughing and there is a twinkle in her eye. It’s not lighting, you can tell she is genuinely happy there.
I think you are doing a great job. She will know she is perfect the way she is. I’ve fought weight problems my whole life and no one in my family every told me I was okay the way I was. Even when I *was* okay. So yeah it sucks. My aunt and uncle told my 9 year old cousin she was fat and put her on a diet. She’s 9, she swims, she’s incredibly active. But they said she’s fat? What a way to screw with your kids mind before she’s old enough to realize she’s beautiful. So when I take her out (away from that crap) we have fun, I’ll take her dinner and let her order whatever she wants (within reason of course, I wouldn’t have her eat a sundae for dinner) and tell her she is beautiful the way she is.
Your Catie won’t have that problem, I can assure you, because you and Dave love her so much she knows she’s perfect in your eyes.
I’m with Avasmom on this one. Complete strangers walk up to the girls and tell them how pretty they are. I always talk about how smart they are. I think all women struggle with body issues. If we can avoid passing our issue to our girls (who will have their own issues) then I think we’ve done a good job.
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I have two daughters and I have that same fear – that even without me doing or saying anything, somewhere along the way someone is going to make them feel like they aren’t good enough. Breaks my heart to even think it.
SO when we talk about food choices in our house, we talk about what makes us strong, what is good for our BODIES and our brains and our muscles, and YES, we eat cookies and we like them and we don’t kick ourselves (in front of the children) because OH MY GOD I ATE A COOKIE AND IT WENT RIGHT TO MY HIPS.
Because I can be a little cray-cray when it comes to that stuff, but so help me, I don’t want to pass it down to them.
I don’t think you have to worry too much about her not thinking she’s beautiful. She is absolutely gorgeous! Just look at that little smile 🙂
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I don’t mind telling my daughter she’s beautiful; she is. If she were overweight, she’d still be beautiful. She’s also smart, and funny, and imaginative. And if she wasn’t any of those things, she’d still be loved just as much! I think all moms feel that way about their kids, pretty much. I want Elizabeth to understand that beauty does not equal thinness. That is a VERY difficult concept to instill in our society.
Cindy, you’ll be able to teach Catie this because you are aware. You have always been beautful, whether you wore makeup or not, whether you were a size 10 or a plus size, drunk or sober (heh, I couldn’t resist). You don’t always believe that, but it’s true.