And now, back to our regularly scheduled pregnancy update:
* Baby girl has been causing me some major hip pain lately – not so much when I sleep (thanks, body pillow!), but sitting at my desk all day is not fun for me. So today I got a massage, and it was delightful. Only afterward I developed a sudden headache. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I guess maybe it has something to do with increased circulation, too much blood in the brain, whatever. It just seemed odd. In all of the massages I’ve ever gotten in my life, this was the first time such a thing has happened to me.
* Another weird medical anomaly: last night in the shower, I found a lump in my right breast, very close to my nipple. Today I noticed that I have the same thing on the left side, but the left one seems a bit smaller. (The lump, not my left boob.) I’m guessing this is a milk duct issue? It freaked me out when I first discovered it, probably because it’s Breast Cancer Awareness month and I’ve been seeing pink ribbons everywhere I go. Now that I realize it’s at least somewhat symmetrical, I’m a lot less concerned. (And no, I’m not seeking medical advice on the Internet. I’m seeing my doctor in two weeks, I’ll ask her about it then.)
* I had a dream last night that I went into labor at work, and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance, and I couldn’t get in touch with Dave. This is actually a very real fear that I have, because he often forgets to take his cell phone with him when he leaves the house, and he almost never answers our home phone because the odds are pretty high that it’s going to be either a telemarketer or my mother. Historically, it’s never been a big deal – if I couldn’t reach him, whatever I was calling him about could probably wait a few hours. Things are a bit different now that I’m pregnant. I keep trying to stress how important it is that I’m able to reach him, and he’s getting better about the cell phone (although maybe that’s because I’m being more proactive about physically handing it to him before he leaves the house).
In the dream, though, the reason I couldn’t get in touch with him was because he was playing World of Warcraft with his headphones on, and he didn’t hear the phone ring. Which reminds me, did any of you see the new episode of South Park this week? It’s pretty sad that I have never played that game in my life, but I got almost every joke about WoW because I’ve picked it up by osmosis. I’m afraid that game may someday be the thing that sends us to couples’ therapy.
* The other dream that I keep having, and is also a general feeling I have all the time, is that this baby is going to come early. Not scary-premature-NICU early, just maybe three weeks or so. Early enough that we won’t be entirely 100% prepared beforehand. And that, honestly, scares me to bits. I know that everyone keeps saying that all we really need is a car seat, some diapers and onesies, and everything will be fine. But it doesn’t feel like that.
So with the intent of helping my brain relax a little bit, this week we bought a crib. (I ordered it in the cherry finish – that dark mahogany color that I love, love, love.) I bought crib bedding too. I forgot about the mattress (why oh why do you have to buy the crib and mattress separately?), but those are easy enough to come by. And I think I’ve pretty much finished our baby registry too. (I’m really annoyed with Babies R Us for the fact that over half of the things can’t be bought online, they have to be purchased in the store. Boo to you, BRU. Boo, I say!)
I don’t know what it’ll take to stop having these little “you’re so not ready for a baby” nightmares. I could probably have an entirely decorated and fully-stocked nursery, and the feeling would most likely still be there. I guess it’s just your everyday, run-of-the-mill fear of the unknown.
Bah, whatever. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I’m going to do more yoga and try to chill out until February.