20 weeks

Today was my 20-week ultrasound. Everything looks great, and Baby 2.0 is most definitely a GIRL. (She wasn’t shy at all about showing off her bits. That’s my girl!)

Baby #2 at 20 weeks

My favorite picture of her, doing a little “Fight the Power” fist raise. Mama’s little rebel.

Now Dave and I get to start arguing about names. I have one name that I love-love-LOVE, and I feel like it’s totally perfect, but Dave isn’t sure about it. So I have a list of about 20 other names that I also kinda like (even though they’re not my first choice), and we can sit down and haggle it out.

Of course, we didn’t officially decide on Catie’s name until after she was born. (It was one of 2 or 3 that we were still juggling.) I’d like to avoid that particular stress this time around, if possible.

And, uh, whenever we do decide, don’t expect me to announce it. Because I’m sorry, but I really don’t want everybody putting in their two cents about it. I’ve heard enough of that, “Oh, I knew a girl named [whatever] and she was a horrible bitch” stuff. No need for that.

I did, however, ask Catie what she thinks we should name the baby. She offered up two ideas:
1) She said we should name her Catie, “because that’s a pretty name, right, Mommy?” Well, yes, that’s why we chose it the first time. I told her that we probably wouldn’t do that because it could get really confusing.
2) She suggested we call her Baby. I told her that we probably will call her that at first, but that she still needs her own name.

So, that was useless. Never ask a 3 year-old for baby name advice, let me tell you.

Oh well, 20 more weeks (give or take) to figure it out. Wish us luck!

weighty issues

I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday. I went to my OB/GYN and had my IUD taken out. So, yes, this means that technically we’re going to start trying for baby #2 – or at least, we’re no longer preventing the occurrence of baby #2. And I know that’s exciting, and yay! Squee! Baybeees!! But there’s something else about this doctor’s appointment that really bothered me, so we’ll leave the baby talk for another time (like, I don’t know, maybe after I get a positive pregnancy test, which could be a year from now, given my previous track record).

The thing that upset me? My weight.

I knew I’d have to step on the scale at the doctor’s office. You always do, right? I hate the scale. I avoid the scale at home. I’m almost never happy with whatever the number may be. But I thought I was mentally prepared. I had done a little calculation in my head on the way there – sure, most of my clothes are feeling a little tighter lately, but I can still button my size 12 jeans, so it’s not that bad, right? I had an idea of what the number on the scale would probably be.

Wrong.

I’m not brave enough to type the number here, but let’s just say that I have a mental block around a certain number – a weight that I haven’t been since my gastric bypass surgery. It’s a number that for the past 7 years, I have refused to ever see on the scale again. And now I’m dangerously close to that number. Like, I’m less than 10 pounds away from it. I can smell that number from where I am. And I don’t like it one bit.

And I know – I KNOW! – that it’s just a number and it’s all about how you feel and how your clothes fit and blah-blah-blah, but the thing is? I feel like crap most of the time. I feel comfortable in very few of the clothes that I own. So it’s not good, and I need to do something about it. I started a diet back in January, but I think it was too radical – I cut out ALL refined sugar and white flour, which is insanely hard to stick with when you have a 2 year-old in the house. But I did it faithfully for a month and lost a whopping zero pounds. That’s when I got frustrated and quit.

Since January, I’ve gained about 10 pounds, and I think I know why: I snack too much at night. I have always “grazed” in the evenings, but lately it’s gotten out of control. I would estimate that probably half of my day’s calories are consumed between 8 p.m. and midnight. Pretty much the worst possible time to eat, right? So that’s the biggest change I’m going to work on for now. I’m definitely going to be adding in healthier food choices and snacks during the day (plus drinking more water & less Diet Coke), but I also know that it’s pretty likely that I won’t be able to stay away from the occasional cookie. So for now, the main thing I’m going to do is stop eating at night.

I started last night. After I put Catie to bed, I had a cup of chamomile tea – because hot liquids trick your tummy into feeling full, plus it helped me start to feel sleepy. And you know? I didn’t die. In fact, it was fine.

I also need to work on getting in shape. I couldn’t do the 30-Day Shred because it hurt my knees too much, and I love the Wii Fit, but it’s more for fun & doesn’t feel like it’s giving me a really solid workout. So I’m thinking about trying Cool Running’s Couch-to-5K program. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to jog/run a 5K; I have wonky knees, and I doubt they’ll hold up for something like that. But I can try. The program only takes up 3 days a week, which seems do-able. Throw in one or two yoga/pilates workouts too, and I should be doing fine in no time.

Wish me luck. I’m going to need it.