PooBou.com

Yesterday, a few things happened that made me decide that it was time to start transitioning Cate to going to sleep on her own again.

1. I realized that we’ve been here for three weeks, which seems like a long enough time that she should be somewhat familiar and comfortable with her bedroom.
2. She only took a 15-minute nap (in the car on the way home from Target; she woke up when I was trying to move her from her car seat to her crib), so I knew she’d be too tired to put up much of a fight.
3. The previous two nights, she had woken up at some point in the middle of the night and spent the remainder of the night in between Dave and me in our bed, and that was like a flashback to her sleeping patterns when she was 10 months old, and we are not going back to that routine, no ma’am, no way.

So when she was obviously starting to fade at around 6:00 (remember, virtually no nap), I gave her a lightning-quick bath, put on her pj’s, and gave her a cup of milk. She fell asleep on her sippy cup, so I tried to quietly move her to her crib. As soon as her head touched the mattress, she woke up and started to scream. This is normally when I’d retrieve her, put her in our bed, wait for her to go back to sleep, then try to move her crib again. And lather, rinse, repeat until I finally managed to get her in bed without waking her.

Instead, this time I sat on the floor next to her crib, reached my arm through the slats to rub her legs, and talked very calmly to her about how much Mommy & Daddy love her, and I know she doesn’t like this, but it’s time to go night-night in her own bed like a big girl. She was standing up, biting on the crib railing and shrieking like her life depended on it. (I tried standing next to the crib so I could reach over and rub her back, but she grabbed my neck and tried to climb up me, so I figured that sitting next to her was better. But from that angle, the only part of her I could reach to rub reassuringly were her legs. Which, you know, whatever works, right?) I turned on her Baby Einstein lullaby CD, figuring that the music could only help her calm down - and if nothing else, it helped drown out the screaming.

She stood up in her crib and screamed for probably the first 20 minutes or so. Then she sat down and screamed for another 10 or 15 minutes. She spent the next several minutes sitting and just staring into space, tear-stained cheeks and pouty bottom lip. Finally her eyelids started to get heavy and she started swaying back and forth from the weight of her head wanting to nod off. A few minutes of that and she finally flopped forward with her head as close to the crib slats as possible. I kissed the top of her head through the slats, rubbed her back for a few minutes until I knew she was all the way asleep, and then left the room.

Of course, because she crashed before 7:00 p.m. and she’s used to going to bed around midnight, she woke up a little over an hour later. So after a diaper change and another cup of milk, we had to do it all over again. It sucked, and it took just as long, if not longer, to settle her down the second time. And I have marks on my forearms from reaching them through the crib slats as far as possible.

The thing is, even though not swooping in to pick her up when she cries goes against every single protective Mommy Instinct that I have, I know this is for the best. It’s not stressing me out like it did when we left her to cry it out. I mean, yes, she’s still screaming a lot, but I’m sitting right there next to her, comforting her as best I can without picking her up. She might not like it right now, but I don’t worry about her developing any abandonment issues since I’m sitting right there next to her the whole time.

Now I just have to commit to sticking with this, so I can get her back into the habit of going to sleep on her own.

Today, though, I loaded Cate into the stroller and walked to the grocery store, since it’s less than a ten-minute walk, and lord knows I need the exercise. We only needed a few things - enough that it would easily fit in the little storage compartment under the stroller. So we went and had fun, and Cate fell asleep in the stroller on the way home. I decided to just move the stroller into the dining room where I can keep an eye on her and let her take her nap there. No point in waking her up just to move her to her crib and do the 45-minute screamfest again. You have to pick your battles, right?

3 Comments »

Cate is 19 months old today. I feel like I need to write a milestone recap, but at the same time, I think I’ve been writing an awful lot about her lately and how she’s been coping (or not) with the move. So instead, just a few quick & random funnies:

* She’s starting to put words together to make complete thoughts, which is pretty awesome. Like, when Dave picked her up and she wasn’t in the mood to be picked up, she said, “No no no! Go down!” And yesterday, I was buckling her into her car seat so we could go to the grocery store, and it was drizzling. She said, “Mommy, wa-wa!” I’m not sure if she was saying, “hey mommy, look at the water [rain]!” Or she might’ve been pointing out that mommy was getting covered in water, which I was. Either way, she was accurate and it was pretty cool.

* I mentioned a while ago the story about how Cate said “doggy” over and over when getting out of the bathtub, and I thought it was just some sort of imaginary play? Well, she’s been doing it every night after her bath, and she usually points at some empty space on the bathroom wall when she’s saying “doggy.” I couldn’t figure it out - imagination? a spot on the wallpaper that looks like a dog? can she hear one of the neighbors’ dogs outside?

Last night it clicked. She’s pointing at the toilet paper and saying doggy, because she loves the puppy on the toilet paper packaging. Every time she follows me into our bathroom, she always goes straight for the cellophane package of T.P. and talks to the little doggy on it. I was pretty impressed by the fact that she figured out that the roll of toilet paper on the wall comes out of the package with the puppy on it. Smart girl.

I mean, I’m not thrilled that the folks over at Kimberly-Clark Corporation have figured out how to market their products to toddlers, but you know, whatever. At least she isn’t asking me for Bratz dolls yet. (And if she ever does: sorry kiddo, no way.)

4 Comments »

Last week, Dave signed us up for a membership to our local YMCA. We both want to work out, plus they have a pool, and all kinds of classes (both for us and for Cate when she gets older). The gym also has a drop-in nursery, which is convenient so Dave and I can work out at the same time.

We decided to try it out last night, but based on how clingy and mommy-centric Cate’s been lately, I was fully expecting her to wig out the second we tried to leave her in the nursery. I told the ladies in charge of the nursery what part of the gym we’d be in, and we snuck out when Cate was distracted playing with some toy cars.

Dave walked on the treadmill while I did the elliptical cross-trainer, but the entire time I was working out, I kept looking around for gym employees (they wear red t-shirts, easy to spot). I was sure that they were going to come find us and tell us to collect our inconsolable, distraught toddler. They never did.

After our workout, we went back to the nursery, and although Cate was obviously really happy to see us, they said that she had been totally happy and fine the entire time. Not a single tear was shed when she realized we were gone. Huh. Whaddya know. I guess the combination of other kids plus unfamiliar toys plus pretty, young nursery attendants (have I mentioned that Cate has a fetish for teenage girls? It’s kind of hilarious) equaled one heck of a good time for her.

Oh, as for me, this was the first time I’d worked out in a gym since I was pregnant, and I am soooore today. Carrying Cate up and down the stairs is probably going to kill me before the day is over. But I’m proud of myself for doing as much as I did. Now let’s see if I keep it up.

2 Comments »

I think yesterday we saw the worst of Cate’s cold. She was basically having one continuous asthma attack all day long, poor kiddo. We were giving her the maximum amount of albuterol that we could, and she was still miserable. She seems a lot better today; she’s still a little wheezy, but she’s been playing and laughing and acting more like her normal self.

There’s something I want to ask you guys, just to see if there’s any knowledge out there that can help: has anyone ever experienced toddler panic attacks? That appears to be what we’re dealing with in regards to Cate’s sleeping issues. If I walk anywhere close to her crib while I’m holding her, she starts whimpering and shaking, and she clamps onto me as if her life depends on it. I used to be able to put her down while she was still awake, turn on her CD and leave the room, and she didn’t make even a peep of objection. Now, she can be all the way asleep, but when I move her to her crib, if she wakes up enough to realize that she’s in the crib, she will force herself to wake up all the way and WIG. OUT.

I don’t know how to describe it, this goes way beyond normal crying or a standard-issue tantrum. She shakes with terror, she tries to climb the rails of her crib and she howls like she’s scared to death. It tears my heart out, I can’t stand to listen to it. A coupe of times we’ve tried to let her cry it out, but either Dave or I always cave and end up going to get her. (I do realize that going to get her totally defeats the purpose, because all we’re doing is teaching her that if she screams long enough, Mommy or Daddy will eventually come get her, but I challenge you to come sit in my house and try to listen to that screaming for more than 10 minutes.)

Stuff I’ve tried: I’ve made sure that a good portion of her toys are in her room, and we spend a fair amount of time in there playing, trying to get her more comfortable in her new room. Also, she has a nightlight and an air filter for white noise, same as she had at the old house.

I’ve noticed that this doesn’t only apply to her crib. She’s also now terrified of the vacuum cleaner, which is a new development. (And seriously, she’s never had any traumatic encounters with the vacuum, so I can’t imagine where this came from.) The other night we got the vacuum out, and she started shaking and saying, “all done! all done!!” over and over, before I had even plugged the thing in. When she realized I was the one who was going to use the vacuum, she reached for Dave and basically tried to climb up him. She’s like one of the cats.

We met with a new pediatrician on Thursday, and when I mentioned this, he kind of brushed me off with the “yeah, all kids are different, takes them different amounts of time to adjust to new environments, blah blah blah”. I don’t think he really “got” how bad it is.

It’s upsetting to me because she’s always been a very cautious child, the type who needs to think something over for a while before she’ll decide to try it. But she seems to have gone from cautious to outright fearful, and it kills me because I feel like this is our fault for uprooting her world and causing all of this insecurity. Of course, there isn’t anything we can do about it now. I suppose I’m just wishing that we had made this move a year ago, before she was quite so aware of her environment. But I don’t really know where to go from here, so if any of y’all have any advice, let me have it.

6 Comments »

A few days ago, I was chatting with my across-the-street neighbor and I asked her if she knew of any good pediatricians nearby. I was really thinking that it would be good to have a name handy in case Cate had an asthma flare-up, but I guess my psychic abilities were kicking in. Because Cate is now sick. Again.

The drippy nose started on Tuesday, and I started her steroid inhaler that day as a preventative (which is what the pediatrician back in Washington told us to do). She hasn’t had any asthma attacks and seems overall to be in pretty good spirits. But the congestion is now at “good grief, child, how did that much gunk come out of that tiny little nose??” levels, so I’m glad we have an appointment this afternoon. She’s rubbed her ears a couple of times, which might just be congestion, but with her history of ear infections, I’d like to get that checked out to be safe.

Oh, and I woke up with a scratchy throat today too. Gah.

1 Comment »

Rather than writing another whiny post about our lack of sleep and how miserable we are because of it, I have something completely different to whine about today.

This is what the movers did to my car.

(Buries face in hands and sobs)

The story that the movers told us is that they were driving the car up the ramp onto the truck, and apparently the ramp wasn’t hooked up correctly, because it collapsed when the car was halfway up. So, the front end of my car + the back end of the moving truck x high velocity = smoosh.

Now, this really shouldn’t be a big deal, right? The moving company is clearly liable, and they’re insured, so they’ll pay for the repairs, yes? Cue the corporate foot-dragging!

First, the truck driver told Dave that it was just “cosmetic damage,” but when I tried to start the car, it sounded really scary, so I turned it off and I refused to drive it. I called the claims department at the moving company and told them that they were going to have to pay to have it towed. They said no, but they’d send out an adjustor to decide for them whether or not the car is driveable. The adjustor was here for about 5 minutes - he looked at the car and said, “well, I wouldn’t drive it, so I certainly wouldn’t expect you to do so.” Fine. He also said that since the repairs would probably take a while, the movers should pay for me to have a rental car in the meantime. Which is a good point, because with Dave going into the office every day, and me with no driveable car, Cate and I have been going stir-crazy with no means of transportation during the day. I don’t think it bothers her as much as me, but I’ve been feeling more than a little trapped. So thank you, Mr. Adjustor Man.

I called the claims people for the next several days, while they continued to say that they hadn’t gotten the adjustor’s report yet. (He told me he’d have it to them within 24 hours.) Yesterday, the claims lady acted all happy and said, “well, I don’t want to make any promises, but I think you’re going to see something this week.” Um, sorry, I’m going to see… something? What does that even mean? She said that they were going to send me a check for the cost of the repairs. Wait a second, we haven’t even gotten the car to a shop to get an estimate, and they’re going to send me a check? How do they know how much the repairs are going to cost?

I mentioned to the claims lady that I need a rental car and that they should be the ones to pay for it, and she said, “well certainly, if you need a car, go ahead and rent a car, and when you fill out your claim form, we’ll consider reimbursing you for it.” You’ll consider reimbursing me? We can’t afford any extra expenses right now, so if the tab isn’t being picked up by the movers, we really can’t get a rental. The fact that I can’t get a straight answer out of these people has me at the end of my rope.

So I caved in and called Progressive, our car insurance people. I probably should’ve done it the first day, but I didn’t think we needed them since it was the moving company’s fault. At this point, I figure that if nothing else, they can talk to the movers’ insurance people and act as advocates on our behalf to figure out what the heck is going on. They were very nice and seem like they’re on our side, but seriously? I have no idea what our recourse is after this. I just want to cry when I see that picture of my car. Poor little Subaru.

2 Comments »

I’m starting this post at 11 p.m., and little Miss Cate is still wiiiiide awake. I know I’ve said it before, but this midnight bedtime thing is driving us crazy. It could be worse, of course - she’s running around happy and playing, and it would be a lot worse if she was having meltdowns every night. But instead it’s just kaboing-kaboing-kaboing, happy happy, play play play, run run run… and we’re like, dude, chill the heck out and go to SLEEP already.

We went over to Cat & Tony’s for burgers (mmm, burgers) on Friday night, and they came over for dinner tonight. I don’t know when the novelty is going to wear off, but I get such a kick out of watching Cate and e-baby interact with each other. It’s so funny to watch what they pick up on. Cate’s learned a couple of new words/signs just in the past few days (all animals: frog, goat, rabbit), and I think the signing might be partially attributable to being around another kid who signs. (Maybe also because Cate’s currently obsessed with the “Leah’s Farm” Signing Time DVD and asks for it over and over. The songs on the DVD are now stuck in my head round-the-clock, and they’re cute little tunes and all, but OMG, ENOUGH already.)

Anyway, it’s funny to watch the two girls play with (or next to) each other. They even gave each other a kiss as e-baby was leaving tonight. It was more like they bumped their faces into each other, but still, SO cute.

Ok. 12:30 a.m. Cate finally went to sleep about 5 minutes ago. Lord Jesus help me.

P.S. Forgive the subject line. I can’t stand Eric Clapton, but I’m exhausted and it’s all I could think of.

5 Comments »