crazies in the boonies

We had the weirdest night, and I don’t even know how to tell this story in a way that makes any sense, but I shall try:

Last night, I met up with my book club ladies, and Dave and I watched a movie when I got home. So we all got in bed pretty late, around 1 a.m. A few hours later, I woke up to hear someone knocking on our front door. At first, I thought it was the contractor who’s been renovating Dave’s office. Sometimes he gets here around 8 a.m., before we’re up for the day, so that wouldn’t be too shocking. Except, oh yeah, it isn’t Monday morning. Then I looked at the clock: it was 3:50 a.m. The hell?

I went to the top of the stairs – from there, I could see through the window next to our front door. I saw a person’s arm, but that was all. And the person kept knocking, repeatedly. I hustled back to the bedroom and woke up Dave. He went to the door while I hovered at the top of the stairs. It was a woman, she was soaking wet and shivering (it was raining and probably in the 30′s outside), and she asked if she could come in. Dave said no, and asked how he could help her. She said she needed “to call Billy,” and asked again if she could come in. They went back and forth a few times – her asking to come in, Dave politely saying no and trying to figure out what she wanted. She didn’t exactly seem drunk (although Dave said later that he could definitely smell alcohol on her), but she was really confused and disoriented. Finally, Dave caved in and let her inside to use the phone.

I came downstairs, and Dave and I tried to ask her a few questions to figure out exactly what was wrong, and how she ended up at our front door at 4 in the morning. I mean, our house is pretty freakin’ remote. Of all the places to find yourself stranded, why our little part of Duvall? And who exactly is this Billy that she needed to call, and why didn’t she have his number? None of her answers made any sense, she was just totally out of it, and she asked if she could rest on our couch for a while. Um, no, sorry.

She called her mom to get this Billy person’s phone number – meanwhile, I grabbed my cell and headed upstairs to our bathroom to call the police. I know it probably didn’t qualify as an emergency, but you hear stories about the one person who gets inside the house, and then the other people with guns show up, and… yeah. I sort of freaked. From our bathroom, she couldn’t hear me talking to the police dispatcher, and I could also keep an eye on Cate, who was sound asleep in the Pack ‘n’ Play in our bedroom.

(Btw, she’s been sleeping 5-6 hours at a time for the past several nights, which is awesome. Or at least, it’s awesome when there aren’t crazy people in my living room keeping me awake.)

Oh, and apparently Dave had the same thought process as me about how this could be some kind of scam, because I found out later that he snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a box cutter and put it in his pocket, just in case. It made me feel better to know I wasn’t the only one who found the whole thing to be totally suspicious.

Now, I know we live in a small town, but wouldn’t you think that since the weirdos are generally out on the weekends, that it might be a good idea for have more than one police officer on duty? Because it took the cop FORTY-FIVE MINUTES to show up. Meanwhile, Miss Crazy is downstairs making multiple phone calls (because I guess Billy wasn’t answering his phone) and in between, Dave is still politely trying to ask her what the hell is going on.

Finally, the policeman arrived, and he asked her if she had left her car at the bottom of the hill (we live at the top of a big hill). She was like, “oh, you found my car?” I’m honestly not sure if she realized that he was a cop or not. But the cop was very nice and told her that yes, he found her car, and if she’d just come with him, he’d take her to it. She followed him quite happily. And on her way out, she tried to give Dave a hug. He gave her a quick little “Ok then, bye-bye” pat on the shoulder.

That was it. I still have no idea what the hell that was about. And now I’m just wondering if we’re going to end up in our town newspaper’s weekly police blotter article.

April 1, 2007Permalink

11 thoughts on “crazies in the boonies

  1. We had two similiar things happen here a few years ago.
    This man came knocking at our door at 3:30 am and my ding-a-ling husband just opens the door..anyways this man said he ran out of gas and could he borrow some. So my not so ‘wise in the ways of world’ husband goes down to the garage and gets the gas can and gives it to him. He could have been whacked on the head and the man could have killed us all. The man took the gas can down the road..(we also live on a country road, mind you) He told my hubbie that he would bring the can back, but alas, he never did. He stewed about losing the can for months…not the fact he could have been killed by a lunatic..
    I guess the guy was alright..but you never know…in this day and age.

  2. Ha. You’ll totally be on the blotter page. And depending on how good the policeman is who writes the report that the newspaper gets every week, it’ll give the editors/copy editors a good laugh.

  3. I am starting to wonder if we should invest in some sort of personal protection when we move near you! I would be totally freaked out (not sure if I would have even answered the door!). It sounds like you had everything under control. Must be all that extra sleep you are getting!

  4. That is definitely nuts. I’m glad you called the police, but WHAT?! 45 Minutes?! You could’ve been held hostage or something!

    Our neighborhood used to have a character whose “girlfriends” (read: the girls he brought home from the stripper bar) would wander out at night, drunk, and into other neighbors’ houses. Luckily, the guy moved away. Unluckily, we’re the people who bought his house and we still get some of his junk mail.

  5. Every time a strange car drives past our house in broad daylight, my husband gets all puffed up and is ready to fight. I pity the fool who bangs on our door in the middle of the night.

  6. Yeah she only got in the door because she looked like she’d been in some sort of accident and had just crawled out of a ditch; although it quickly turned out that she was just crazy/high/drunk…

    It kind of occurred to me after the fact that I could easily have taken the phone and a blanket outside and kept her on the doorstep until the police arrived… It’s strange how the best course of action to take always hits you in hindsight :)

    We’re so gonna buy a baseball bat…

  7. Ok, that’s just creepy. I’d have also totally had the police on the phone. Your sense of security changes drastically when you have a baby. Your hubby’s nuts for letting her in, although I can understand why he did. Good idea on the bat, though LOL

  8. You know, hindsight is *always* 20/20. When we were in the alley moving Scott out of his old place, 2 guys came out of the creepy, falling-down building next door and said, “oh my God, come quick!” I, being an idiot, rushed into the building after them. I thought maybe someone was in trouble. Scott, following after, thought I was going to be murdered (it’s a kinda creepy part of town). Turns out that there was a huge waterfall coming through the ceiling. It was a pretty neat sight but it could have been a bad thing had they been nefarious.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m glad it worked out well in the end, Cindy you *are* that clever and that’s why I asked :-) and hopefully that woman will get some help now that you put her in touch with the police. Fingers crossed she’ll never show up again and baseball bats are on sale with spring’s arrival!

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