I’m finding it very difficult to write, talk, or think about anything other than pregnancy right now. I’ve hit this very strange phase where this baby is taking up a large enough portion of my body that it’s virtually impossible to stop noticing it all the damn time. Even my dreams are all about babies. I think I’m probably somewhat annoying to have a conversation with at this point.
So instead, I am going to focus this post on other people I know, and none of this has anything to do with this little baby girl that I’m gestating. Although some of it might be related to other people’s offspring.
* There’s someone who I’ve been friends with for several years, but lately I’ve decided that I’m tired of living in her little self-absorbed world where she “accidentally” hurts my feelings on a semi-regular basis. She’s the type of person that I would’ve drifted apart from ages ago, except that we have a mutual friend in common, which keeps us in contact with each other. Still, in spite of Mutual Friend, I think it’s time to cut my losses and move on.
I mentioned this over on Shannon’s blog yesterday, but my sister has a friend who uses this analogy: “Your friends are like a flower garden; you have to constantly tend to them to keep the friendship alive and growing; you have to love and nurture them so your friendship can bloom and flourish… And sometimes, some of them just gotta get weeded out.” I think now is the time to weed this person out of my Friend Garden. It sucks, because it’s hurtful to close a chapter of your life that way. Also, it sort of puts Mutual Friend in an awkward position. But in the end, I think it’s for the best.
* Speaking of Mutual Friend, she and I seem to be going through a sort of weird/tense phase. Part of me thinks that it’s the married-versus-single thing, which I hate. This is someone who I thought I would always be able to relate to, but lately it just feels like we’re in two very different places. She can’t seem to understand why I never want to go out dancing anymore, and I don’t understand how she can stand to go to those types of clubs and not feel like the “old person” in a room full of 21 year-olds. Oh, and have I mentioned that none of my cute downtown club clothes fit me right now? Dancing in maternity jeans and sneakers (because let’s face it, heels aren’t going to happen) is not my idea of a perfect Saturday night.
I’m not too worried about that, because this friend and I have been through tense phases before, and they always blow over eventually. Right now I just find myself missing our usual rapport.
* On a much happier topic, I have a dear friend who I have known and adored for over a decade. She’s one of those people that I can lose touch with for months, or even a year, and when we talk again, we just immediately pick up where we left off. We have such an easy, comfortable vibe, and I love that about her. She and her husband started trying to get pregnant around the same time that Dave and I did. So they’re going on a year with no success, and she’s had all of the up-and-down mood swings that go along with that. She’s been charting her cycles for the past few months, and right now she’s having some very strange “uh, WTF?” symptoms that could possibly, maybe, hopefully be signs of very early pregnancy. But it’s too early to take a home pregnancy test, so she basically has to sit on her hands and wait for the next few days, which I know is agonizingly frustrating. I’m crossing every finger and toe, making wishes, saying prayers, and sending as many positive embryo-implantation-vibes that this is finally it for her. She and her husband would be fantastic parents, and I want this for them so much.
(See? That doesn’t count as me “talking about pregnancy,” because I was talking about someone else’s, not my own. So there.)
(Aside to Shannon: this friend lives in the DC area, so I keep thinking that I need to set up a “playdate” for the two of you or something, because I think you’d totally hit it off. But she isn’t a blog reader at all and I don’t know if that would be weird.)
* Have you seen my cousin’s baby yet? Because she’s really, really cute. I can’t wait to meet her in person. (Next March or so, yes?)
* My mom told me yesterday afternoon that she thought she was getting a bladder infection. The way she described her symptoms, and knowing what I do of her medical history, I told her that it sounded like a kidney stone and that maybe she should get that checked out. Like right then. She said, nah, she was sure it was just a plain ol’ boring UTI. She called me back at midnight her time (10:00 here) to let me know that she and my dad were on their way to the ER. And guess what? She has a stone. Ouch. I partly feel a little “I-told-you-so,” but mostly I feel bad because I know she’s in a huge amount of pain. Poor mom.
* My sister is a bridesmaid in a wedding this weekend, and as such, she has to give a toast. The bride has specifically requested my sister for this task, so there’s no worming out of it. I’m having a preemptive anxiety attack on her behalf. (I know my sister doesn’t have nearly the same fear of public speaking that I do, but still. That sounds like hell to me.)
* Dave has now been in a good mood for two days in a row, so we can all say a little *hallelujah!* for that. It wasn’t really his fault, he was just having some weird sleep issues for the past couple of weeks and it made him a major crankypants. Last weekend, I was all jittery and wanting to talk (about nothing in particular), so I sat next to him on the couch babbling about lord-knows-what. Finally, he kind of gave me this icy glare and said, “Do you need something??” Ooookay. I’m just gonna go in the other room and watch TV, then. But he’s back to his normal sweet, funny, lovable self right now, and I’m very grateful for that. I was starting to miss the sound of his laugh.