I am stressed. Really stressed. This whole loan thing is making me crazy. I won’t get into the details because it’s probably boring to people who aren’t directly affected by it, but let’s just say that it reminds me of a quote from one of my college buddies: “Money is like toilet paper. It only matters when you don’t have any.” And right now, folks, we are fresh out of t.p., and it is a BIG, BIG deal. So let’s sum up how I’m coping with this:
1. I’ve had a headache nearly every day for the past 2 weeks.
2. I’m taking over-the-counter sleep aids to get to sleep at night, otherwise I lie awake, twitching and worrying.
3. Since I’m sleeping pretty horribly lately, on Friday night I came home from work and immediately crawled into bed. It was around 5:00. I told Dave to wake me up after an hour, but he didn’t. I woke myself up around 8:30 p.m. I had dinner, went back to bed, and slept until 11:00 a.m. on Saturday.
4. I spent most of the day Saturday cleaning, which is how I often deal with stress. There’s something that happens to me when I feel like my life is out of my control, so I start taking charge of the things I can control – namely, how clean my kitchen is. I ended up cleaning the entire downstairs. It felt pretty good to get that done, too.
5. I spent all day Sunday in bed. Call it hiding, I guess. Dave stayed there with me. He played video games on his laptop, I watched movies. I went downstairs long enough to do one load of laundry, but otherwise, we stayed in our room. I even brought our dinner (re-heated pizza – yow, what a gourmet chef I am!) upstairs on a tray for us to eat in bed. Crazy.
Then last night, I got home from work, and I was so frazzled that I felt like I could explode at any minute. Every nerve ending was on edge. So I grabbed my iPod and I went for a walk. And it was strange – just that 30 minutes of alone time (just me & my “workout tunes” playlist), and I felt so much calmer when I got home. No more headache. Go figure. Maybe it was because I stopped to pet the neighbor’s goats, and they always make me smile because they’re so darn cute, and I love that little “neeeeh” sound they make when they see me approaching. Maybe it’s because Madonna’s Ray of Light album has a calming influence on me. More than likely, I think it’s just a sign that I need to get more exercise. So I’m going to try to work on that.