Yesterday, as I left work, I was on a mission to find shoes to go with my wedding dress. I’m meeting the alterations lady tomorrow, and it’s important to know what kind of shoes I’ll be wearing, so she knows where the hem of the dress should be. Ok. So I leave my little parking garage, go to make a right turn onto a side street, but the street is blocked off by police cars, and the policemen are directing all oncoming traffic to make a U-turn and go back. I tried a detour a few blocks later, but that street was also blocked off by police cars. Since this was around 5:00 p.m. on a weeknight (and in a neighborhood that contains a LOT of offices), traffic was insane. While I was sitting in gridlock, I noticed that the news helicopters for all 3 local network news stations were circling in the air overhead. I called Dave and told him to check online and see what was up. He didn’t find anything. I looked it up this morning, and it turns out there was a failed attempt at a bank robbery right near where I work. (It was actually closer to Dave’s office than mine, but he only works about 1/2 a mile from me.) You have to register on that site to be able to read the story, so I’ll just copy & paste my favorite part:
“He was reaching to put money into the fanny pack which he had in front of him with his right hand, the gun went off towards his left hip,” said Ray Lauer, F.B.I. special agent.
Authorities said the robber barely missed himself, but he may have shot a hole in his sweater. Surveillance video also shows money being blown into small pieces.
As a trail of cash spilled out all over the bank floor in front of the counters, the suspect made his getaway.
A fanny pack. Oh good god. I know it wouldn’t be funny if anyone had gotten hurt, but that story cracks me up – it makes me think of the bank heist from “Raising Arizona” where the guys bring in the baby (still in his car seat) because they don’t want to leave him in the car. Then they set him on the roof and drive off. With this story, the amazing part is that the dude got away. The police and FBI are looking all over for him, and he just up & vanished. Which I suppose is fine, since all he succeeded in doing was blow a lot of cash into teeny-tiny bits.
But seriously, y’all. A fanny pack. I’m just sayin’.
And now, back to me: Because of the insane traffic, I ended up on a very extended detour, and lo & behold, I passed a Payless ShoeSource! I know the Manolo would be horrified with me for purchasing cheap footwear, but you know, I looked all over for nice shoes, and I couldn’t find any that I liked. Plus, I’m only going to wear these shoes once, and no one is going to even see them because the dress is floor-length. And after the fortune I’ve spent on the dress, I have a hard time justifying another fortune being spent on shoes. So I went with the cheapies. But they’re cute! (I don’t know why I can’t link directly to the shoe, but on the 6th row down, it’s the “Sparkle Strappy Sling.”) And they’re relatively comfortable for $20 shoes. So I’m happy. Yay!